Read Online Play It Away: A Workaholic's Cure for Anxiety by Charlie Hoehn - Free Book Online
Authors: Charlie Hoehn
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fail to develop properly. Sadly, it’s very difficult for single adults to experience extended physical contact on a regular basis. That’s one of the unfortunate byproducts of our isolating culture, but there are ways to remedy the problem.
If you don’t have a significant other, you can either cuddle with your pet (dogs are the best) or get a massage each week. And if you’re feeling brave, you can ask someone if they’d be willing to help you ax your anxiety via cuddling. I know this sounds like an awkward request, but as long as you pose the question in a non-creepy way, you can usually get someone on-board. Want to know why? Because most people are deprived of physical touch and true companionship, and they secretly crave it just as much as you do.
For those who are tapping their fingers together like a scheming Mr. Burns — Don’t be a creep. Asking somebody to cuddle isn’t a ruse to score at the frat house; it’s a legitimate means to help you feel better. You have to be sincere while proposing this or they’re going to be a little freaked out. It’s not so much what you’re proposing, it’s how you’re proposing it.
Whether your cuddling is platonic or sexual isn’t really my concern, though the latter is certainly effective for reducing stress (and you get to tell your partner that you want to... wait for it... ... Lay It Away 27 ). However, if your desire to get romantic while cuddling is going to create more anxiety, then you should either pick a different partner or just sleep solo.
And if your ideal cuddling partner turns you down, don’t sweat it. Just stay focused on getting consistent quality sleep, 20-minute naps, hugging friends (i.e. standup cuddling), and the occasional massage.
FREQUENCY:
As needed.
COST:
For obvious reasons, you should not pay for this.
DO IT NOW:
Invite someone over for a movie/cuddle night. Accept that there’s no way to make this request sound normal and that it might get turned down. Try it anyway. Then schedule a massage.
RESOURCES:
Cuddle Party (cuddleparty.com) This organization has been hosting events for the last 10 years all over the US, as well as Australia, Canada, England, Denmark, Sweden, and South Africa. Attendees get to relax, chat, cuddle, or just hang out. It may not be right for you, but it’s an option.
26 Loneliness is as strong of a predictor of early death as alcoholism or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. It’s an even stronger predictor than obesity or a sedentary lifestyle. That’s why anxious people need to do whatever they can to spend more quality time with positive people (playing and cuddling are great places to start).
27 See what I did there? This book is already a franchise.
Observe Your Thoughts
‘Stop!’ I cried imploringly to my god-like mind.
— A C ONFEDERACY OF D UNCES
When I first started meditating, I was constantly stressing over how bad I was at it. I couldn’t resist the urge to scratch my skin. I couldn’t sit in the lotus position. My shoulders would hunch. My back would get sore. But the worst part was that my mind was always wandering:
Breathe… Straight spine… Breathe… Waste of time… You’re barely a minute in… Look who can count... Easy... Zen imposter… Fake Buddha... Silence... What’s the ex up to... Facebook knows... It always knows!... Santa… Jesus is Santa... Buddha... Meditate... Breathe… Zen things... Ren rings... Ren and Stimpy... Stop it... Nicki Minaj… Cultural bankruptcy… You can’t rhyme “Nicki” with “Nicki”… ‘Starships’ is catchy... I hate myself... I love myself... Millenials... Silence... Don’t scratch... No touching!... Prison... Stop thinking... When did I get old... Santa Minaj... Damnit.
Then I’d give up and distract myself with the internet for the next several hours. Impressive, no?
I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was my resistance to my own thoughts that was making meditation so difficult. The more I tried to shut
If you don’t have a significant other, you can either cuddle with your pet (dogs are the best) or get a massage each week. And if you’re feeling brave, you can ask someone if they’d be willing to help you ax your anxiety via cuddling. I know this sounds like an awkward request, but as long as you pose the question in a non-creepy way, you can usually get someone on-board. Want to know why? Because most people are deprived of physical touch and true companionship, and they secretly crave it just as much as you do.
For those who are tapping their fingers together like a scheming Mr. Burns — Don’t be a creep. Asking somebody to cuddle isn’t a ruse to score at the frat house; it’s a legitimate means to help you feel better. You have to be sincere while proposing this or they’re going to be a little freaked out. It’s not so much what you’re proposing, it’s how you’re proposing it.
Whether your cuddling is platonic or sexual isn’t really my concern, though the latter is certainly effective for reducing stress (and you get to tell your partner that you want to... wait for it... ... Lay It Away 27 ). However, if your desire to get romantic while cuddling is going to create more anxiety, then you should either pick a different partner or just sleep solo.
And if your ideal cuddling partner turns you down, don’t sweat it. Just stay focused on getting consistent quality sleep, 20-minute naps, hugging friends (i.e. standup cuddling), and the occasional massage.
FREQUENCY:
As needed.
COST:
For obvious reasons, you should not pay for this.
DO IT NOW:
Invite someone over for a movie/cuddle night. Accept that there’s no way to make this request sound normal and that it might get turned down. Try it anyway. Then schedule a massage.
RESOURCES:
Cuddle Party (cuddleparty.com) This organization has been hosting events for the last 10 years all over the US, as well as Australia, Canada, England, Denmark, Sweden, and South Africa. Attendees get to relax, chat, cuddle, or just hang out. It may not be right for you, but it’s an option.
26 Loneliness is as strong of a predictor of early death as alcoholism or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. It’s an even stronger predictor than obesity or a sedentary lifestyle. That’s why anxious people need to do whatever they can to spend more quality time with positive people (playing and cuddling are great places to start).
27 See what I did there? This book is already a franchise.
Observe Your Thoughts
‘Stop!’ I cried imploringly to my god-like mind.
— A C ONFEDERACY OF D UNCES
When I first started meditating, I was constantly stressing over how bad I was at it. I couldn’t resist the urge to scratch my skin. I couldn’t sit in the lotus position. My shoulders would hunch. My back would get sore. But the worst part was that my mind was always wandering:
Breathe… Straight spine… Breathe… Waste of time… You’re barely a minute in… Look who can count... Easy... Zen imposter… Fake Buddha... Silence... What’s the ex up to... Facebook knows... It always knows!... Santa… Jesus is Santa... Buddha... Meditate... Breathe… Zen things... Ren rings... Ren and Stimpy... Stop it... Nicki Minaj… Cultural bankruptcy… You can’t rhyme “Nicki” with “Nicki”… ‘Starships’ is catchy... I hate myself... I love myself... Millenials... Silence... Don’t scratch... No touching!... Prison... Stop thinking... When did I get old... Santa Minaj... Damnit.
Then I’d give up and distract myself with the internet for the next several hours. Impressive, no?
I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was my resistance to my own thoughts that was making meditation so difficult. The more I tried to shut
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