Read Online Pig Boy by J.C. Burke - Free Book Online Page A

that when I reach the number ten, I will open them and calmly go back to the task at hand.
    The first page is a total rave. My writing is a mess, the grammar and structure all over the place. It barely makes sense. Finch wouldn’t mark it more than twelve out of twenty. I’d join the losers in the class. I imagine explaining to Finch why my work is so poor. As if she’d buy it. Who would?
    But tonight the task at hand is to put the mess in order.
    I go to the list and read every word twice just to be sure. I cross out what I’ve done and if something needs following up I mark it with an asterisk. These points will be transferred and numbered on a brand new to-do list. I want to curl into a ball and will myself to disappear. But tonight is a ‘doing’ night, not one for self-pity.
    On a fresh white page, I write in and underline the two most important things to remember, rewrite the points with an asterisk and start to add new ones, careful not to be too specific this time.
    TO-DO LIST
Google for info
Check newspapers etc
Get a padlock
Look into renewing firearms licence – book safety course, call rifle club re rejoining and course availability
Visit Pigman re job
    Step one is simple. It’s straight to YouTube. I have to see how this mother works.
    The AK-47 used to be one of my main weapons of choice. I especially liked using it when I played Kaos with Vigilanteboy. The AK-47 had a slower rate of fire which helped me focus and get my head sorted while Vigilanteboy ran around screaming like a girl with a broken fingernail.
    I wonder what happened to him. He just disappeared from all the lists.
    For a while I searched and asked around the forums but no one knew where he was. Now I wish I’d tried harder. Vigilanteboy knew about AK-47s – real ones, I mean. Once I was complaining about their recoil when hip-firing and he said ‘Dude, you oughta try one in real life. Those things kick like a pregnant mare with a hangover.’
    If I found Vigilanteboy, I’d ask him to tell me everything he knows.
    The YouTube listings go for pages. My first choice is a comparative study with the AK-47 and other assault rifles but it makes no sense to me. So I check out the hot Russian chicks demonstrating how the AK-47 works but I can’t keep focused on what they’re saying in their sexy Russian accents. I watch an interesting doco on Kalashnikov himself. Then I hit a series of eight-second videos showing how fast the AK-47 can reload. It’s amazing. I watch it again and again.
    Finally I find what the novice like me needs: ‘Basics of the AK-47’. It’s a nice little step-by-step educational video. The bloke talking even looks a bit like Pascoe, which only makes it all the more ironic.
    He’s a moron too. ‘Safety is important when handling any rifle and takes no time at all. Always check the rifle is clear. When handling the rifle, ensure the muzzle is pointed in a safe direction.’ I finish the sentence, ‘unless of course you’re in the company of a traitor, then ensure the muzzle is pointed directly at the balls.’

    I doze a bit with my head on the desk but at 7 am the alarm on my mobile rings and it’s time to implement step four of the plan. I’m straight on the phone to the Strathven Shooters’ Club. If the Pigman gives me a job, I’ll have to show him a current firearms licence.
    I’m not expecting anyone to pick up at the club. All I want is their opening hours. Receiving a call on their answering machine at 7 am shouldn’t arouse any suspicion. Then I can fall into bed knowing that one thing on the list has been achieved.
    â€˜Strathven Shooters’ Club, John Curlewis speaking.’ The cheery voice of Mr Curlewis finds me off guard and instead of hanging up I’m umming and ahhing like a moron.
    â€˜Yes. Hello?’
    â€˜Yes, um,’ I say. ‘I just wanted some information.’
    â€˜Fire