Read Online Phule's Paradise by Robert Asprin (rsv) - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Robert Asprin (rsv)
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Well, that still doesn't change the fact that I'm not functioning at peak efficiency, especially in the manners department. What can I say other than I'm sorry?"
"You could try saying the exact same thing-only to Lieutenant Rembrandt," the butler said. "After all, it is she and not I who is the offended party in this situation."
"Right." Phule nodded, glancing down the corridor again, as if expecting to see his senior lieutenant appear at the mention of her name. "Maybe I can catch her before-"
"As for myself," Beeker continued, "what I would probably most like to hear is that you plan to take some time to catch up on your sleep ... sir."
"Excuse me, what was that, Beek?" the commander said, pulling his attention back to the conversation.
"You asked a rhetorical question, sir," the butler explained. "I was merely taking advantage of it to state my own opinions."
"Oh."
"And in my opinion, sir, what is most important at the moment is not that you apologize for past errors in judgment, but rather that you get some sleep to lessen the probability of compounding the situation with future errors."
Phule frowned.
"You think I should get some sleep?" he said finally, reducing things to their simplest form.
"It would seem in order, sir. By your own admission, you're `running tired.'"
"Can't do it-not now, anyway," Phule insisted, shaking his head. "I have too much to do before the actors' briefing tonight. I can't afford the time."
"If I might suggest, sir, I don't believe you can afford not to get some sleep, particularly if you're getting ready for an important presentation. Perhaps you could delegate some of your planned preparations?"
Phule thought for a moment, then nodded slowly.
"I guess you're right, Beek. It's bad enough if I'm snapping at the troops that already know me, but if I start leaning on the newcomers ..." He shook his head again, more emphatically this time. "Okay, I'll try to get some sleep. But only if you promise to wake me up a couple hours before the briefing."
"Consider it promised, sir."
"And Beeker? It's good to have you back. Sarcasm and all."
"It's good to be back, sir."
The actors' briefing went smoothly ... much more so than I had ever hoped, considering the circumstances.
Because of the secretive nature of their work, Lieutenant Rembrandt had specifically not informed them of any details regarding the "parts" they were auditioning for, other than the necessary warnings that there might be some danger involved, and (apparently more important to the actors) there would be no "billing" or other credits for their individual performances. In short, the only reward the actors could expect from their roles would be financial. As might be expected, having come to know my employer's style of problem solving, as mysterious and sketchy as the information was, the offered pay scale was generous enough that there was no shortage of applicants to choose from.
Still, it must have come as no small shock to at least some of them to learn that the "troupe" they had been auditioning for was none other than the Space Legion, or that in accepting, they had effectively "enlisted." The ease with which they absorbed and adapted to this news is a tribute to their professionalism ... or their greed.
"That pretty much concludes the basic information I wanted to cover at this first meeting," Phule said, giving his notes one final scan. "Now, I'm sure that you all have questions. Let me remind you, however, that we have a lot of time before we reach Lorelei, and that specific information on standing duty will be covered in later briefings which will include the entire company. Also, some of your questions might be better asked, and answered, in private. Lieutenants Rembrandt, who you've already
"You could try saying the exact same thing-only to Lieutenant Rembrandt," the butler said. "After all, it is she and not I who is the offended party in this situation."
"Right." Phule nodded, glancing down the corridor again, as if expecting to see his senior lieutenant appear at the mention of her name. "Maybe I can catch her before-"
"As for myself," Beeker continued, "what I would probably most like to hear is that you plan to take some time to catch up on your sleep ... sir."
"Excuse me, what was that, Beek?" the commander said, pulling his attention back to the conversation.
"You asked a rhetorical question, sir," the butler explained. "I was merely taking advantage of it to state my own opinions."
"Oh."
"And in my opinion, sir, what is most important at the moment is not that you apologize for past errors in judgment, but rather that you get some sleep to lessen the probability of compounding the situation with future errors."
Phule frowned.
"You think I should get some sleep?" he said finally, reducing things to their simplest form.
"It would seem in order, sir. By your own admission, you're `running tired.'"
"Can't do it-not now, anyway," Phule insisted, shaking his head. "I have too much to do before the actors' briefing tonight. I can't afford the time."
"If I might suggest, sir, I don't believe you can afford not to get some sleep, particularly if you're getting ready for an important presentation. Perhaps you could delegate some of your planned preparations?"
Phule thought for a moment, then nodded slowly.
"I guess you're right, Beek. It's bad enough if I'm snapping at the troops that already know me, but if I start leaning on the newcomers ..." He shook his head again, more emphatically this time. "Okay, I'll try to get some sleep. But only if you promise to wake me up a couple hours before the briefing."
"Consider it promised, sir."
"And Beeker? It's good to have you back. Sarcasm and all."
"It's good to be back, sir."
The actors' briefing went smoothly ... much more so than I had ever hoped, considering the circumstances.
Because of the secretive nature of their work, Lieutenant Rembrandt had specifically not informed them of any details regarding the "parts" they were auditioning for, other than the necessary warnings that there might be some danger involved, and (apparently more important to the actors) there would be no "billing" or other credits for their individual performances. In short, the only reward the actors could expect from their roles would be financial. As might be expected, having come to know my employer's style of problem solving, as mysterious and sketchy as the information was, the offered pay scale was generous enough that there was no shortage of applicants to choose from.
Still, it must have come as no small shock to at least some of them to learn that the "troupe" they had been auditioning for was none other than the Space Legion, or that in accepting, they had effectively "enlisted." The ease with which they absorbed and adapted to this news is a tribute to their professionalism ... or their greed.
"That pretty much concludes the basic information I wanted to cover at this first meeting," Phule said, giving his notes one final scan. "Now, I'm sure that you all have questions. Let me remind you, however, that we have a lot of time before we reach Lorelei, and that specific information on standing duty will be covered in later briefings which will include the entire company. Also, some of your questions might be better asked, and answered, in private. Lieutenants Rembrandt, who you've already
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