this.
(Are you?)
What am I supposed to do? I wrote.
Fight!
Who?! I pounded out on my screen. What? I would give anything for the ability to even know what this was. But it isn’t anything. It’s just an end.
(
And you’ve been living on borrowed time as it is,)
42 whispered.
I don’t believe that. We could find something. Look for new doctors. Maybe we could, I don’t know … buy you some time.
I blinkedat the screen. You mean stasis, don’t you.
It couldn’t hurt. You’d be safe.
Anyone else would have been shocked that she’d even suggested it. Of all people in the world, Rose had to know the harm that prolonged stasis could cause. But I knew how Rose thought. She had grown up thinking the abuse normal. Though she was now of the opinion that the forcible stasis against her will was indeed a terriblething, she still couldn’t see the horror that was continued suspended animation, as the world carried on without you, and you were held back and back and back. It seemed a tool to her, sinister only in certain applications. Of course, despots think of torture as a tool, also.
I tried to be gentle. Rose. I love you. I do. But I’d rather die.
Don’t say that!
Rose.
Now you read these words. I’mnot going to let you just die!
Rose, do you think you have any choice? You can’t control whether people live or die.
She didn’t answer.
Rose?
There was no response. None at all. After a few minutes the link cut out automatically. She’d turned off her screen.
Hurriedly, I scrabbled on my bedside table for my cell. I rarely used the thing, considering I couldn’t talk, but it had its uses. Itwas preprogrammed to respond to some of the noises I could make. I summoned Rose’s cell number with a low whistle, but she didn’t answer. Coit, I had to make this better! I brought up Bren with a different tune. Bren answered a second later. A hologramatic image of his head looked surprised as I held it in my hand. ‘Otto, what’s up?’
I brushed the sign of an ‘R’ by my cheek, which was the abbreviationfor Rose’s name. ‘You need Rose?’
I nodded. His image shifted as he started walking. ‘What’s wrong? Her screen not working?’ I shook my head, but I couldn’t get much more detailed than that. Finally, I heard the sound of a knock as Bren arrived at Rose’s condo.
After a minute Bren’s face disappeared as he slid the cell into his hand to talk to his grandfather. ‘Can I see Rose?’
I could hearthe old man’s voice distantly over the tiny speaker. ‘I’m afraid Rose is a bit ill right now, Bren.’
After a pause Bren asked, ‘Can I help?’
‘In this case, I think not,’ Xavier said. His voice was grim. ‘But I’ll tell her you came by.’
Bren hesitated, then said, ‘Yeah. Thanks, Granddad.’
The door closed, and Bren’s image returned in my hand. ‘Okay, what’s wrong?’
All I could do was look helpless.
‘Rose was crying,’ Bren said. ‘I could hear her. She was nearly screaming.’
Oh, coit! My hands clenched and my eyes closed.
‘Was she angry, or hurt?’ Bren asked.
I shook my head.
‘Screen, two minutes,’ Bren insisted, and the cell blinked off. I felt ill myself. I couldn’t explain this to Bren. Everything felt wrong, suddenly, as if the world was collapsing around me. Despite the fact thatmy entire body ached and I felt sick to my core, I threw my screen across the room and clambered out of bed.
I was dizzy for a moment, but I wasn’t about to just sit here feeling like this. I could feel 42 in my mind, burning against my consciousness. Pushing me. Bren’s chime dinged on my screen. I ignored it.
I’m not sure what manias overtook me, but I was suddenly very clear as I stood upout of that wretched bed. I felt dizzy, but there was no pain. I yanked monitors from my arms and chest and pulled plugs from walls so the machines wouldn’t announce the disconnection. If I was lucky, I’d have about ten minutes before the nurse on duty noticed I
(Are you?)
What am I supposed to do? I wrote.
Fight!
Who?! I pounded out on my screen. What? I would give anything for the ability to even know what this was. But it isn’t anything. It’s just an end.
(
And you’ve been living on borrowed time as it is,)
42 whispered.
I don’t believe that. We could find something. Look for new doctors. Maybe we could, I don’t know … buy you some time.
I blinkedat the screen. You mean stasis, don’t you.
It couldn’t hurt. You’d be safe.
Anyone else would have been shocked that she’d even suggested it. Of all people in the world, Rose had to know the harm that prolonged stasis could cause. But I knew how Rose thought. She had grown up thinking the abuse normal. Though she was now of the opinion that the forcible stasis against her will was indeed a terriblething, she still couldn’t see the horror that was continued suspended animation, as the world carried on without you, and you were held back and back and back. It seemed a tool to her, sinister only in certain applications. Of course, despots think of torture as a tool, also.
I tried to be gentle. Rose. I love you. I do. But I’d rather die.
Don’t say that!
Rose.
Now you read these words. I’mnot going to let you just die!
Rose, do you think you have any choice? You can’t control whether people live or die.
She didn’t answer.
Rose?
There was no response. None at all. After a few minutes the link cut out automatically. She’d turned off her screen.
Hurriedly, I scrabbled on my bedside table for my cell. I rarely used the thing, considering I couldn’t talk, but it had its uses. Itwas preprogrammed to respond to some of the noises I could make. I summoned Rose’s cell number with a low whistle, but she didn’t answer. Coit, I had to make this better! I brought up Bren with a different tune. Bren answered a second later. A hologramatic image of his head looked surprised as I held it in my hand. ‘Otto, what’s up?’
I brushed the sign of an ‘R’ by my cheek, which was the abbreviationfor Rose’s name. ‘You need Rose?’
I nodded. His image shifted as he started walking. ‘What’s wrong? Her screen not working?’ I shook my head, but I couldn’t get much more detailed than that. Finally, I heard the sound of a knock as Bren arrived at Rose’s condo.
After a minute Bren’s face disappeared as he slid the cell into his hand to talk to his grandfather. ‘Can I see Rose?’
I could hearthe old man’s voice distantly over the tiny speaker. ‘I’m afraid Rose is a bit ill right now, Bren.’
After a pause Bren asked, ‘Can I help?’
‘In this case, I think not,’ Xavier said. His voice was grim. ‘But I’ll tell her you came by.’
Bren hesitated, then said, ‘Yeah. Thanks, Granddad.’
The door closed, and Bren’s image returned in my hand. ‘Okay, what’s wrong?’
All I could do was look helpless.
‘Rose was crying,’ Bren said. ‘I could hear her. She was nearly screaming.’
Oh, coit! My hands clenched and my eyes closed.
‘Was she angry, or hurt?’ Bren asked.
I shook my head.
‘Screen, two minutes,’ Bren insisted, and the cell blinked off. I felt ill myself. I couldn’t explain this to Bren. Everything felt wrong, suddenly, as if the world was collapsing around me. Despite the fact thatmy entire body ached and I felt sick to my core, I threw my screen across the room and clambered out of bed.
I was dizzy for a moment, but I wasn’t about to just sit here feeling like this. I could feel 42 in my mind, burning against my consciousness. Pushing me. Bren’s chime dinged on my screen. I ignored it.
I’m not sure what manias overtook me, but I was suddenly very clear as I stood upout of that wretched bed. I felt dizzy, but there was no pain. I yanked monitors from my arms and chest and pulled plugs from walls so the machines wouldn’t announce the disconnection. If I was lucky, I’d have about ten minutes before the nurse on duty noticed I
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