Read Online Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life by Margaret Moore - Free Book Online Page A

You can also ask your family members or colleagues what they think are your strengths.
    The important thing to understand is that whatever realm they lie in, with a little digging you will find that you do have strengths, talentsand abilities. And those strengths can be used to improve or overcome those areas in life where you are not as strong.
    FOSTER POSITIVITY
    Barbara Fredrickson, an author and inspirational leader in the emerging field of positive psychology, has taught us that you need to be at or above the tipping-point ratio of at least 3:1 of positive emotions to negative emotions for your brain to function at its best. In other words, you need a 75/25 percent positive energy ratio to succeed.
    This isn’t just facile “put on a happy face” stuff. It’s hard to be positive all the time. Some days, it may be hard to feel positive at all. But while negative emotions are good teachers, you can’t change if your thinking and energy are impaired by too many negative emotions. Fredrickson has also taught us that positive emotions are the active ingredient enabling “resilience.” This is that wonderful quality we so admire in children. It’s caused by responding positively to adversity and is necessary for change. It’s inevitable that you will fall back from time to time. In fact, if you don’t bump into setbacks you’re probably not going to make lasting change. But try to see these challenges as teachers and friends: welcome them and appreciate them and they will serve you well.
    Here are some ways to “reframe” your emotions and accentuate the positive. One way is to make peace with the past. Negativity in one area (for example, not forgiving yourself or someone else for something that happened) can follow you around like a dark cloud that overshadows the otherwise positive aspects of your life and disposition. It’s particularly important to let go of the past as it relates to the area you’re working on. If you feel ashamed or embarrassed about your past behavior and performance, the negative feelings will act like brakes on your forwardmotion. If it was an embarrassing or damaging incident that prompted you to pick up this book—whether losing your keys again or losing a job because distractions got in the way of performance—well, you need to put it behind you, starting right now. The past is the past. What’s done is done. Time now to take the lessons of what happened; apply them to tppen and develop a fresh, open and positive outlook toward the future. Here’s a little pep talk I give to my clients who are stuck on mistakes they’ve made in the past. If need be, you can use this “mistake mantra” to absolve yourself:
    I forgive myself for the mistakes I made. I’m not perfect—no one is—and I’m committed to learning and getting better. In fact, the past experience is my wise teacher, and I will apply the lessons well.
    Enough with the mistakes. Fredrickson has identified the most common positive emotions. Here are some you can work on:
Cultivate curiosity about and interest in the challenge of change.
Seek inspiration from others who have been successful.
Be grateful for something, anything.
Savor small moments on the journey.
Enjoy the pride of doing something well—appreciate even small steps forward.
Celebrate early wins. It’s very easy to ruminate on the negative. It’s less familiar to focus on the positive.
Have fun. Making positive changes in your life can be extremely enjoyable. We don’t mean to make this sound like a lark; it’s not and your reasons for wanting to get yourself “together” may be serious. That doesn’t mean you can’t discover joy in the process of changing. In fact, you probably will!
    BUILD A SUPPORT TEAM
    It’s hard to change when your environment is working against you. A chaotic or noisy desk or office can be highly distracting. Or