therapist or other program designed for that purpose.
BUILD CONFIDENCE TO MEET CHALLENGES
There will always be reasons to do nothing and to talk yourself out of making changes and meeting challenges. Getting your life better organized sounds like a lot of work. Itâs not the right time, youâre too busy, itâs football season, itâs your sonâs graduation or your wedding or whatever. While there are periods in your life that may not be best suited for making major changes, doubting yourself as to the timing, whether justified or just a convenient excuse, will eat away at yourconfidence in your ability to change. Ask yourself on a scale of 1â10: âHow confident am I that I will be successful in overcoming my challenge and making this change?â If your score is below a 7 then you should first spend a little time thinking through ways to handle your challenges. As Henry Ford said, âWhether you think you can or think you canât, youâre right.â
Make sure that you think you can.
Sometimes itâs as simple as scaling back the goal a little so that it moves from âIâm really anxious about whether I can really do thisâ to âAbsolutely!â Sometimes you need to shorten your horizon: take it one day, even one hour at a time.
Or you may discover that you need to learn a new skill and gain knowledge first because youâre about to do something youâve never done.
Set small first steps, and donât worry about how long it takes to make them. The race to long-lasting change is usually won by those who take time to build the foundation needed for new habits to last.
ADOPT THE MIND-SET OF A SCIENTIST
As much as we would all love a quick fix or shortcut and avoid a lot of experimentation, there is no one else quite like you. Someone elseâs prescription probably wonât get you to the finish line. Thatâs why our approach in this book is highly individualized. Here, you get options, you get choices and you get to pick what works best for you. Sure, we have some evidence-based principles to offer you; yes, Iâm going to give you the information, techniques and approaches that I know can work, but just how they will work best for you, to what degree and how youâll integrate them into your day-to-day lifeâ¦well, thatâs going to be up to you.
Weâll talk quite a bit about the science of the brain and how it can help you. So get into the mind-set of a scientist. Be ready to do a few experiments, observe the outcomes carefully, think back to past experiences that might be revealing and decide which habits fit you best now, based on the results. Donât worry, Iâll help. Iâm here giving you some suggestions and guidelines and a framework to help you make these changes, but ultimately itâs your experiment, and youâre the one best suited to judge the results.
CALL IN YOUR STRENGTHS
Another way to cultivate confidence is to bring your strengths and talents to the table. Itâs very easy to forget what youâre good at when youâre swimming upstream. While your desk may be a mess, your kitchen pantry may be well organized. While you may feel unfocused and unable to stay on top of things, you may be quite capable of helping your colleagues organize their projects. Or you may be known as tenacious, as someone who doesnât give up, whoâs determined to close the deal, find the item youâre looking for and reach the finish line of the race. Or youâre creative and you have a knack for finding new ways to do things.
By the time we are adults, only one-third of us have a pretty clear idea of where our strengths and talents lie. We are typically much better at naming our deficiencies. If you want to learn more about your strong points, complete the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment (www.strengthsfinder.com) or do the VIA (Values in Action) Survey of Character at www.viacharacter.org.
Dorothy Dunnett
Anna Kavan
Alison Gordon
Janis Mackay
William I. Hitchcock
Gael Morrison
Jim Lavene, Joyce
Hilari Bell
Teri Terry
Dayton Ward