everyone you’ve put in the Accept box, the show’ll run till four in the morning. We’ll have to throw buckets of water over the audience to keep them awake.’
‘Well, okay, but which of them are we going to reject? You tell me.’
‘God knows. Anyway, we’ve still loads to get through. Who’s next?’
Maria consults the list.
‘The Victory Singers.’
‘The hunky minister?’ asks Marianne.
‘Pastor McKenzie, yes.’
‘Oh goody.’
Maria rolls her eyes, ‘Okay, wheel them in. Next!’
Pastor McKenzie and four of his flock enter.
‘Sorry, we weren’t sure if we were next.’
Maria doesn’t trust him; he’s too handsome to be a cleric, and he’s always smiling.
Pastor McKenzie is as slim and tall as a male model in a catalogue. His suit looks neat on his broad shoulders. As he enters he undoes the three buttons on his jacket which now falls open informally to display his trim waist and slim hips. His legs are long, his feet are big and his backside is extremely tidy for a middle-aged man. He probably works out, and his blue-black hair has got to be dyed. His dark eyebrows and slick sideburns seem indecent on a reverend. All he needs is a thin moustache and a watch chain and he’d be a riverboat cardsharp.
Despite being kept waiting almost three hours McKenzie’s smile lights up the room. Always in a good mood, he is never less than radiant. The man seems to emanate joy.
‘Thank you for your patience, Pastor McKenzie,’ says a coyly smiling Marianne. ‘Please, in your own time, begin.’
So far the Headmistress has been hard-nosed and no nonsense but now she’s way too gushy for Maria’s liking.
They begin, the Pastor tapping his foot and snapping his fingers to keep the beat.
‘A one, a two, a one-two-three-four:
‘Give me oil in my lamp keep it burning,
Give me oil in my lamp I pray
Give me oil in my lamp keep it burning,
Keep it burning till the break of day!’
It has to be conceded that the Pastor has a more than passable voice. As he conducts his choristers they seem to become charged with his burning exuberance. They smile and click their fingers too. Soon, the rhythm has infected their hips; they’re nodding their heads and clicking their fingers and shaking their booties in fervour. Filled with confidence, they sing with gusto.
‘Sing Hosanna,
Sing Hosanna,
Sing Hosanna to the King of Kings!’
Unfortunately the King of Kings has not seen fit to bless the Pastor’s followers with the gift of music. They’re tone deaf, an enthusiastic rabble.
When they finish, they are laughing and triumphantly swapping high fives. It takes Pastor McKenzie to put his finger to his lips to restore the modest demeanour they came in with.
‘Well,’ says Marianne, not quite speechless, ‘that was certainly something!’
‘Thank you Miss Bowman,’ the pastor nods diffidently. ‘Christ be with you.’
‘We’ll let you know, Pastor.’ Maria says.
His immaculate eyebrows are momentarily snagged but the beaming smile quickly makes a comeback.
‘I don’t think we should be too hasty,’ says Marianne as soon as they’ve left the hall.
‘But they were terrible!’
‘Yes, I know, but…Actually, I find myself unable to dispute that,’ says Marianne, smirking.
‘They were God-awful!’
‘Maria: Inclusion Initiative?’
‘You only want him in because you fancy him.’
‘Again,’ says Marianne, this time openly chuckling, ‘I am unable to dispute that. But the fact is that the Victory mission is the only religious group left in Hexton, you have to include them.’
Maria lets out a huffy sigh. She knows she’s beat. Standards arecrashing and they haven’t even finished the auditions yet.
‘Or no promotion for yoohoo!’ Marianne sings gleefully as she files the paperwork in the overflowing Accept box.
Chapter 14
The next time Alice sticks her head round the door of the church it’s a different matter. He’s not the poor lonely soul he’s made himself
Cindy Miles
Lisi Harrison
Harold Robbins
Nadia Nightside
Theresa Weir
Nora Ephron
Jenny Colgan
P. A. DePaul
Desiree Holt
Kelly Lucille