Read Online Only Strange People Go to Church by Laura Marney - Free Book Online
Authors: Laura Marney
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and older, don’t admit to loneliness. They’d rather admit to being a thief than to being lonely. Maybe she’s been a bit hard on him. Now he looks embarrassed.
‘Och, yeah, a wee bit, sometimes.’
Alice is surprised and a bit cowed by his honesty. He’s a young guy, what’s he got to be lonely about?
‘Yeah,’ Alice, astonished, hears herself say, ‘I kind of know what you mean.’
Chapter 13
‘Next!’ Maria calls, trying hard not to sound like a jaded 1930’s Broadway producer. But jaded she is. It isn’t that there’s no talent in Hexton; the problem is that there’s too much and it isn’t self-selecting. Those who possessed ability are often shy and reluctant to perform, while those who are spectacularly untalented are blissfully oblivious and line up to make fools of themselves. Sifting through the dross is time consuming, exhausting and has already used up Maria’s limited reserve of tact.
‘Yeah, thanks, eh…’ Maria consults her list, ‘thanks Gerry, we’ll let you know.’
‘Does that mean I’m in?’
‘Eh, not sure yet, we’ll get back to you.’
‘Well, when’s the rehearsals? I’ll need to know. I’m a bus driver; I’ll have to sort out my shifts.’
‘To be honest I’m not sure we’ve got space for another rapper, we’ve already seen quite a few today.’
‘Aye, but have you seen anybody else who can do this?’
Gerry gets down on the floor and attempts to spin on his head, except that he can’t. He tries four times, the last time falling forwards and squashing his nose on his square of linoleum.
‘True, we haven’t seen anybody do that.’
‘You tryin’ to be funny?’ says Gerry, somewhat nasally. ‘Get it up you,’ he mutters as he leaves with his rolled lino under his arm.
‘Charming!’ Maria tuts.
Marianne agrees.
Marianne Bowman is the Headmistress of Hexton High and has volunteered to help with today’s open auditions. A career woman,Marianne is conventional in that she is of traditional headmistress age: an immaculately conserved forty-something, and has her glasses dangling from a string of pink pearls. She wears knee-length tweed skirts and chunky heels. Judging from the smell she appears to steep herself in a bath of Georgio every morning. Before addressing a remark to Marianne, Maria turns aside to breathe, trying not to fill her lungs and nose with the heavy perfume.
It was this headmistressy tweediness that initially distanced Maria from Marianne but in fact Marianne has been terrific. As soon as Maria put the idea to her of a community concert on a diva theme, she was immediately behind it. Within a week she had organised the school choir into an eighties, nineties and noughties Madonna, Queen of Pop, tribute. Marianne also had her school kids go out and poster the neighbourhood to advertise the auditions she is generously hosting in the school assembly hall.
‘You could have the place for rehearsals as well if we weren’t about to get our major refurb. And not before time, we’ve waited years. This place is falling apart.’
The question of rehearsal space is not one that until now Maria has considered. Bert won’t let her have the assembly hall; she knows that without asking. The evening concert is one thing but daytime use is going to be pretty much out of the question. Apart from it being the clients’ gym and dining hall, classes are scheduled in there all day every day. This is a problem that Maria will have to solve, but not now, her head is bursting with it all. Audition day has been exhausting but it certainly hasn’t been fruitless.
There are good singers aplenty. This in itself is a problem: who to choose and who to reject? Marianne who is, from the outset, more organised than Maria, has devised a system: after they have performed the hopefuls are filed in one of two boxes: Accept or Reject. The difficulty is that the Accept box is brimful.
‘Maria we can’t have them all, there just isn’t time. If we take
‘Och, yeah, a wee bit, sometimes.’
Alice is surprised and a bit cowed by his honesty. He’s a young guy, what’s he got to be lonely about?
‘Yeah,’ Alice, astonished, hears herself say, ‘I kind of know what you mean.’
Chapter 13
‘Next!’ Maria calls, trying hard not to sound like a jaded 1930’s Broadway producer. But jaded she is. It isn’t that there’s no talent in Hexton; the problem is that there’s too much and it isn’t self-selecting. Those who possessed ability are often shy and reluctant to perform, while those who are spectacularly untalented are blissfully oblivious and line up to make fools of themselves. Sifting through the dross is time consuming, exhausting and has already used up Maria’s limited reserve of tact.
‘Yeah, thanks, eh…’ Maria consults her list, ‘thanks Gerry, we’ll let you know.’
‘Does that mean I’m in?’
‘Eh, not sure yet, we’ll get back to you.’
‘Well, when’s the rehearsals? I’ll need to know. I’m a bus driver; I’ll have to sort out my shifts.’
‘To be honest I’m not sure we’ve got space for another rapper, we’ve already seen quite a few today.’
‘Aye, but have you seen anybody else who can do this?’
Gerry gets down on the floor and attempts to spin on his head, except that he can’t. He tries four times, the last time falling forwards and squashing his nose on his square of linoleum.
‘True, we haven’t seen anybody do that.’
‘You tryin’ to be funny?’ says Gerry, somewhat nasally. ‘Get it up you,’ he mutters as he leaves with his rolled lino under his arm.
‘Charming!’ Maria tuts.
Marianne agrees.
Marianne Bowman is the Headmistress of Hexton High and has volunteered to help with today’s open auditions. A career woman,Marianne is conventional in that she is of traditional headmistress age: an immaculately conserved forty-something, and has her glasses dangling from a string of pink pearls. She wears knee-length tweed skirts and chunky heels. Judging from the smell she appears to steep herself in a bath of Georgio every morning. Before addressing a remark to Marianne, Maria turns aside to breathe, trying not to fill her lungs and nose with the heavy perfume.
It was this headmistressy tweediness that initially distanced Maria from Marianne but in fact Marianne has been terrific. As soon as Maria put the idea to her of a community concert on a diva theme, she was immediately behind it. Within a week she had organised the school choir into an eighties, nineties and noughties Madonna, Queen of Pop, tribute. Marianne also had her school kids go out and poster the neighbourhood to advertise the auditions she is generously hosting in the school assembly hall.
‘You could have the place for rehearsals as well if we weren’t about to get our major refurb. And not before time, we’ve waited years. This place is falling apart.’
The question of rehearsal space is not one that until now Maria has considered. Bert won’t let her have the assembly hall; she knows that without asking. The evening concert is one thing but daytime use is going to be pretty much out of the question. Apart from it being the clients’ gym and dining hall, classes are scheduled in there all day every day. This is a problem that Maria will have to solve, but not now, her head is bursting with it all. Audition day has been exhausting but it certainly hasn’t been fruitless.
There are good singers aplenty. This in itself is a problem: who to choose and who to reject? Marianne who is, from the outset, more organised than Maria, has devised a system: after they have performed the hopefuls are filed in one of two boxes: Accept or Reject. The difficulty is that the Accept box is brimful.
‘Maria we can’t have them all, there just isn’t time. If we take
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