Read Online On Mother Brown's Doorstep by Mary Jane Staples - Free Book Online

Freddy, ‘I might as well go an’ sort meself out a plot in the cemet’ry.’
    ‘No, don’t leave the table yet, love,’ said Mrs Brown, ‘there’s syrup puddin’ for afters.’
    ‘Oh, all right,’ said Freddy gloomily, ‘I’ll stay for that, a bloke can drown ’imself easier when ’e’s got a full stomach.’
    ‘Sit up, Freddy love,’ said Mrs Brown, and brought the syrup pudding to the table.
    ‘Susie, Will still ’asn’t told us if Annie Ford’s pretty,’ said Sally.
    ‘I didn’t notice,’ said Will.
    ‘That’s it, Sally, she’s seventeen and pretty,’ said Susie.
    ‘Well, we hope so,’ said Mrs Brown, serving the pudding.
    ‘What’re you up to, you hope so?’ asked Will.
    ‘I’m only sayin’, Will love,’ said Mrs Brown.
    ‘Fancy our Will only just ’ome from India an’ findin’ someone seventeen an’ pretty,’ said Sally.
    ‘Fancy findin’ your syrup puddin’ down your gymslip?’ said Will.
    ‘Funny thing, yer know,’ said Mr Brown, ‘I found yer mum when I was about Will’s age.’
    ‘Why, was she lost, then?’ asked Freddy bitterly.
    ‘Lost?’ said his dad.
    ‘I only asked,’ said Freddy. ‘Look, I dunno I can eat all this syrup puddin’. Still, I will. If it kills me, no-one’ll notice, and it’ll save me ’aving to drown meself.’
    ‘Yes, eat it up, love,’ said Mrs Brown fondly, ‘syrup pudding’s good for a growin’ boy.’
    ‘D’you want to tell us any more about Annie, Will?’ asked Susie.
    ‘Right, monkey, I’ll come clean,’ said Will, going on the attack, ‘I only noticed her legs.’
    ‘You shocker,’ said Susie, putting aside any suggestion that she liked to see Sammy looking at her own legs.
    ‘Not my fault,’ said Will, ‘they kept staring me in the face.’
    ‘You listening to that, Mum?’ asked Sally.
    ‘Well, I must say you and Susie’s both got ever such nice legs, lovey,’ said Mrs Brown, equability undisturbed.
    ‘Wooden ones, that’s what Sally’s got,’ muttered Freddy.
    ‘I didn’t know that,’ said Mr Brown.
    ‘Well, ’ow could she get inches taller in a few months unless she’s wearin’ wooden ones bought off a market stall?’ said Freddy.
    ‘I don’t think you can buy wooden ones off a stall, Freddy,’ said Mrs Brown. ‘You have to go somewhere special for wooden ones.’
    ‘I bet she bought special ones from Mr Greenberg,’ said Freddy, ‘you can get anything from ’im. I bet if you looked, you’d see ’is sold label on Sally’s.’
    ‘Sounds a good bet, Freddy,’ said Will. ‘Let’s all take a look after supper.’
    ‘I’ll scream for me mum,’ said Sally, ‘and I won’t get the daffs for yer, not even if you give me tuppence for goin’.’
    ‘’Ere, listen,’ said Freddy with reborn determination, ‘if I’d ’ad tuppence for ev’ry errand I’ve done, I’d ’ave ’ad me own bike years ago. Mind, if Susie feels—’
    ‘What’s that blessed boy talkin’ about?’ asked Sally.
    ‘I expect ’e’d like some more syrup puddin’,’ said Mrs Brown.
    Bitterness uppermost again, Freddy decided to have his own back by dropping a bombshell. He addressed his mum. Loudly.
    ‘I suppose Susie knows I ain’t wearin’ no trousers at ’er weddin’?’
    ‘What?’ said Susie.
    ‘Nor I ain’t,’ said Freddy, ‘I already informed Mum, an’ she knows me mind’s made up.’
    ‘I’m dreamin’,’ said Susie.
    ‘And I ain’t wearin’ no sailor suit, either, not at my age I ain’t,’ said Freddy. ‘Just a scarf an’ shin. I just ’ope the day won’t be windy. If it is, well, I’ll just ’ave to grin an’ bear it.’
    Sally shrieked. Mr Brown hid his face in what was left of his helping of syrup pudding. Well, nearly. Will laughed his head off. Susie’s face was a study.
    Mrs Brown said, ‘Bless us, Freddy, I don’t know you ought to ’ave said a thing like that. It don’t sound a bit nice.’
    ‘Can’t ’elp that, Mum,’ said Freddy firmly, ‘I