Read Online Nothing Left to Lose by Kirsty Moseley - Free Book Online Page B

We need to get to
know each other ready for next week. I know nothing about you other
than what I’ve read in your file.”
    My heart sank. A file? I have a file? “What kind of file?” I asked, not
really wanting to know the answer.
    His face fell,
and he shifted on his feet uncomfortably. “Er, well, you have a
file that gave me all the information I need for my job. You know,
like your schools, your routine. A brief overview of your
character. It had some stuff about Jackson.”
    I stiffened.
“Jack. He liked Jack, not Jackson. He hated being called Jackson.”
I frowned down at my feet.
    “Right, okay.
There wasn’t really that much in there about you and what you like
and don’t like. If I’m gonna pretend to be your boyfriend, I figure
I should at least know some stuff about you.” He bent his head,
trying to catch my eye.
    I gulped. He
hadn’t said anything about Carter, did he know about Carter? “Did
it say anything about Carter in my file?” I asked, my voice
breaking when I said his name. Bile rose in my throat. I hated to
talk about him, my therapist made me talk about him which wasn’t
good for my whole staying emotionless plan.
    He nodded.
“Yeah it did,” was all he said.
    The frustrated
anger came out of nowhere. “Right, of course it did. I should have
known, I forgot that I’m not entitled to privacy anymore,” I
snapped. A tear fell down my cheek, so I swiped it away angrily. I
hated the fact that everyone knew; it was no one else’s
business.
    “I’m sorry,
Anna, I needed the information to help keep you safe.” Ashton took
hold of my hand, squeezing it gently.
    I snorted,
wrenching my hand out of grasp. “How the hell would knowing that
stuff keep me safe? That’s private stuff, no one should know about
it! I don’t want anyone to know!” I shouted, making him flinch. My
blood felt like it was boiling in my veins. Everyone always thought
they knew what was best for me, but in reality, they all just made
it ten times worse. I didn’t need their pity.
    “It didn’t go
into details. Just an overview,” he countered, frowning, looking a
little concerned I was going to break or something.
    “Oh, it didn’t
go into details? You want the details, Ashton? You want me to tell
you why I wake up screaming every night? Want me to tell you how I
tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists and the fucker saved me
just so he could live in some little, sick fantasy where we played
house? You want to know that apparently he was in love with me,
love at first sight he said? That’s why he killed Jack right in
front of me, because he wanted me to himself! He had Jack beaten so
badly that I can still hear the sounds of his bones snapping, I can
still see the terrified look in his eyes just before they threw him
over the fire escape,” I ranted, taking a shaky breath.
    Ashton had gone
pale.
    “You want to
know that exactly a week after my sixteenth birthday, he raped me
and took my virginity? And then he raped me every day after that?
You want to know that he got me pregnant and was so angry about it
that he threw me down the stairs and then kicked me in the stomach
repeatedly until I had a miscarriage? Huh, you want to know that?
Shall I carry on?” I shouted. He flinched and shook his head; his
eyes alight with both concern and horror.
    I couldn’t
stop, it was pouring out of me now. “Did it say in my file that I
didn’t leave his house the whole time I was there? That I wasn’t
allowed to eat every day, that if I said something he didn’t like
or didn’t do as I was asked, that he would beat me until I blacked
out?” My chin wobbled at the memories. “Did it say in the file that
he tried to be the perfect boyfriend? Or that he gave me everything
a girl could ask for – designer clothes, shoes, purses, flowers,
chocolates? I had laptops that couldn’t go on the internet. I had
the latest cell phone that could only dial his number. He even got
me a puppy which he let me keep just