Read Online Nobody Likes Fairytale Pirates by Elizabeth Gannon - Free Book Online

didn’t like
listening to strange women try to flirt with him as if she wasn’t even there,
and she didn’t like the fact that she was stuck here waiting for his phantom
client to appear while the women tried.
    Her partner was the most important
person in her life, but sometimes he just annoyed her to no end.
    If she had access to a shovel or
mallet or anything heavy at the moment, she would have used it to hit him on
his big dumb head.
    “You were unpardonably rude to that
poor girl.”  Uriah sounded genuinely insulted on the slutty waitress’ behalf.
    Ransom let out a scoff.  “Well, for
a couple of coppers, I’ll sure she’s let you make it up to her.”
    “A ‘couple of coppers’?”  Uriah
repeated with a snort.  “Dove, just where do you think you are ?  That
girl would sell herself to us for half that.”
    “’Us’?”  She repeated, arching an
eyebrow.
    “We’re a team , Dove.”  He
teased.  “I don’t do anything without you, you know that.  And for a loaf of
stale bread, that girl would let us do whatever we wanted to her.”
    Ransom crossed her arms over her
chest, sick of this conversation.  “Listen, as much as I love debating
the price of whores with you…” She began.
    “The girl is simply going through a
rough patch at the moment, Dove, not embarking upon a lifelong career.  This
world is tough and being judged by strangers doesn’t help.  But she’ll find a
way out of her regrettable situation and get her life back on track.”
    “I’m so glad for her.”  She
deadpanned.  “Hurray.”  Her partner lived in his own fantasy world sometimes,
where everything worked out for people.  “See this face, Uriah?”  She gestured
to her own expression with her hand.  “This is my: ‘I don’t give a fuck’ face.”
    “Yes, I recognize it.  It’s the one
you almost always have.”
    “Good, then you know what it
means.”
    “I’m guessing-- and this is just a
shot in the dark here-- that it means that you…”
    “I don’t give a fuck.”  She
finished for him.  “That’s what it means.”
    “I was hoping that its name was
meant ironically.”
    “Nope.”  She crossed her arms over
her chest again.  “I think we should focus on the matter at hand and stop
flirting with slutty barmaids.  Now .”
    He cleared his throat. 
“Absolutely.”  He tapped the tabletop.  “Now, our contact here is running a bit
late...”
    “Really?”  She asked sarcastically. 
“Hadn’t noticed.  The hours are just flying by.”
    He chuckled in amusement.  “But I
think it’ll be worth it in the end.”
    She held out a hand of peanuts for
their pet to munch on.  The animal grabbed them from her palm and then
retreated to wherever it was Dinner went when it wasn’t getting in the way or
cooing at Uriah.  “Any idea what this guy wants from us?”
    “None.”  He took a drink.  “But you
and I can’t exactly afford to be overly captious in this instance, now can we?”
    “Not unless we enjoy starving.”
    “Which we do not.”  He tapped the
tabletop again.  “That means that we must make this deal work for us,
even if on its face it seems like folly.”
    Truth be told, most things with her
partner seemed like folly.
    The man was the most capable man
she had ever known, but most of the time he somehow managed to bungle things
anyway.  Usually because he didn’t always have the stomach for his chosen line
of work.  He’d argue against that idea, of course, since he felt he was the
roughest man who ever lived.
    But Uriah was too soft.  And one
day it would get him killed.
    “I don’t like this.”  She warned,
imagining the many ways such a plan could go wrong.
    “Is that your professional
opinion?”  He asked her seriously.
    If she vetoed the plan, it was dead
in the water.  Uriah was a stubborn man, but he wouldn’t go against her.  She
knew that.
    “No.”  She decided after a moment. 
“I just think we need to be