I’m
not going to leave you high and dry.”
Both of us had a million and one questions to ask, but Phil broke off in a fit of coughing that didn’t
seem to have an ending point. He was obviously uncomfortable and in an immeasurable amount of pain.
Rule went and found a nurse, who gave Phil something that soon had his eyes drooping closed and his
chest moving up and down in a steady rhythm. He faded out and Rule jerked his head toward the door, so I
followed him into the hallway.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah, that about covers it.” I took my hat off my head and then slammed it back on. “What the fuck are
we going to do?”
“Figure it out, I guess. That’s what we always do.”
“This is insane, all of it.”
“No doubt, but we’ll just take it one step at a time. We got your back, Nash. Remember that next time
you want to play ostrich and bury your head in a bottle of tequila for a week.”
I did know it. “Thanks, Rule. Hey, give me just a minute. I wanna try and track down Saint and
apologize.”
“Apologize for what?”
“At this point I feel like I need to apologize to her for simply existing. Thanks for dragging me out of
my stupor.”
“Anytime. I’ll meet you at the truck. I need to call Shaw. She still hasn’t told her parents about the
wedding. I don’t care one way or the other if they’re going to come or not, but I know Casper well enough
to know she’ll feel guilty if she doesn’t at least give them the opportunity to prove they aren’t horrible, even
though we all know they are.”
I snorted because he wasn’t kidding and because it still made me laugh when he used his nickname for
Shaw. Her super white-blond hair lent itself to the endearment. His words were also a harsh reminder that I
wasn’t the only one that had seriously screwed family dynamics. The building blocks that made me who I
was as a person were changing, being rearranged and placed in different places. I wasn’t scared of change,
one look at my body and anyone could see that … what I was terrified of was having to look back and see
that my mom giving me up … letting me go, had nothing to do with a broken heart left from a deadbeat
dad, but everything to do with me and the fact I wasn’t what she wanted. It had to do with the fact that I
just wasn’t good enough, and even though I had long since made peace with never meeting her standards, it
still left a mark.
CHAPTER 4
Saint
The little boy I was working on was just too cute. He was probably only five or six and the gash he had
on his head was pretty nasty, but he seemed to be taking it in stride. The mom was a hysterical wreck, like
they all tended to be when their babies got hurt, but a couple of stitches later and the advice to get some
Tylenol and have the child wear a helmet when he was riding his bike and they were on their way. Of
course I had to scrounge up a sucker to give the young patient. I couldn’t stand seeing him leave without
some kind of smile. Working on little kids was hard, but it always made my insides happy when I could fix
them up and send them on their way with their tears dried up.
I snapped off my surgical gloves and nodded at the attending ER doctor as he moved on to the patient
in the next room. It was flu season, so we were running at a pretty steady pace, not to mention the colder
weather had the homeless population in and out dealing with a variety of weather-related injuries and
symptoms. I always had to be on my toes, never knowing what was around the corner, which made my
days move quickly and kept my job challenging and interesting. However, when I came around the corner
and saw a familiar tall, dark figure leaning against the intake desk, I had to pause and decide if I wanted to
turn around and run the other way before he caught sight of me. Nash wasn’t a challenge I particularly felt
up to dealing with today.
I was irritated at him for acting so selfish while someone close to him
not going to leave you high and dry.”
Both of us had a million and one questions to ask, but Phil broke off in a fit of coughing that didn’t
seem to have an ending point. He was obviously uncomfortable and in an immeasurable amount of pain.
Rule went and found a nurse, who gave Phil something that soon had his eyes drooping closed and his
chest moving up and down in a steady rhythm. He faded out and Rule jerked his head toward the door, so I
followed him into the hallway.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah, that about covers it.” I took my hat off my head and then slammed it back on. “What the fuck are
we going to do?”
“Figure it out, I guess. That’s what we always do.”
“This is insane, all of it.”
“No doubt, but we’ll just take it one step at a time. We got your back, Nash. Remember that next time
you want to play ostrich and bury your head in a bottle of tequila for a week.”
I did know it. “Thanks, Rule. Hey, give me just a minute. I wanna try and track down Saint and
apologize.”
“Apologize for what?”
“At this point I feel like I need to apologize to her for simply existing. Thanks for dragging me out of
my stupor.”
“Anytime. I’ll meet you at the truck. I need to call Shaw. She still hasn’t told her parents about the
wedding. I don’t care one way or the other if they’re going to come or not, but I know Casper well enough
to know she’ll feel guilty if she doesn’t at least give them the opportunity to prove they aren’t horrible, even
though we all know they are.”
I snorted because he wasn’t kidding and because it still made me laugh when he used his nickname for
Shaw. Her super white-blond hair lent itself to the endearment. His words were also a harsh reminder that I
wasn’t the only one that had seriously screwed family dynamics. The building blocks that made me who I
was as a person were changing, being rearranged and placed in different places. I wasn’t scared of change,
one look at my body and anyone could see that … what I was terrified of was having to look back and see
that my mom giving me up … letting me go, had nothing to do with a broken heart left from a deadbeat
dad, but everything to do with me and the fact I wasn’t what she wanted. It had to do with the fact that I
just wasn’t good enough, and even though I had long since made peace with never meeting her standards, it
still left a mark.
CHAPTER 4
Saint
The little boy I was working on was just too cute. He was probably only five or six and the gash he had
on his head was pretty nasty, but he seemed to be taking it in stride. The mom was a hysterical wreck, like
they all tended to be when their babies got hurt, but a couple of stitches later and the advice to get some
Tylenol and have the child wear a helmet when he was riding his bike and they were on their way. Of
course I had to scrounge up a sucker to give the young patient. I couldn’t stand seeing him leave without
some kind of smile. Working on little kids was hard, but it always made my insides happy when I could fix
them up and send them on their way with their tears dried up.
I snapped off my surgical gloves and nodded at the attending ER doctor as he moved on to the patient
in the next room. It was flu season, so we were running at a pretty steady pace, not to mention the colder
weather had the homeless population in and out dealing with a variety of weather-related injuries and
symptoms. I always had to be on my toes, never knowing what was around the corner, which made my
days move quickly and kept my job challenging and interesting. However, when I came around the corner
and saw a familiar tall, dark figure leaning against the intake desk, I had to pause and decide if I wanted to
turn around and run the other way before he caught sight of me. Nash wasn’t a challenge I particularly felt
up to dealing with today.
I was irritated at him for acting so selfish while someone close to him
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