wasn’t a wild animal
that needed to be gentled … even if he kind of emanated that vibe.
“I’m sorry. Stage four is ugly and has a terrible prognosis no matter what kind of cancer it is.”
He nodded jerkily and tossed his head back on his neck so that he was peering down at me from under
the brim of his ball cap.
“I’m sorry about the other night. I was really drunk, my shit was all over the place, and I swear I’m not
usually that kind of guy. It was very nice of you to come over and check on me, and I acted like a dipshit. I
just wanted to apologize, to tell you thanks.”
I was dumbfounded. That wasn’t what I was expecting from him, so I just stared up at him like a
moron. He must have taken my silence as a rebuff because he pulled his hat off and scraped one of his
hands roughly over the top of his shaved head. His dark eyebrows dipped down low over those fabulous
eyes and his nostrils flared out a little. With that piercing he had in the center of his nose, it kind of made
him look like an angry bull.
“Cut me some slack here, Saint. My life went sideways and this shit has been hard to deal with. I know
you don’t like me, so it was extra nice of you to swing by. What I don’t know is why you don’t like me.”
I jolted back and dropped my defensive stance. Sure, I had my reasons for being standoffish and
keeping my distance from him, but I had never meant to make my discomfort and unease around him
totally palpable to others, especially to him. The last thing I wanted was to relive that moment, either of
them. There was no way I was ever going to tell him that his dismissal, his harsh words, had forever
changed me, forever changed how I looked at the opposite sex. It was humiliating and obviously way more
memorable to me than it was to anyone else. If he had no recollection of it, I wasn’t going to remind him.
He gave his head a shake and put his hat back on his head. He pushed off the vending machine and
shrugged the wide expanse of his shoulders.
“All righty, then. I’ll steer clear of the ER if I can avoid it because clearly I make you really
uncomfortable. I just wanted you to know that I appreciated you reaching out when obviously you would
rather poke your own eye out with a dull spoon. You’re a really nice girl, Saint. I’ve always thought you
were.”
He pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up over his hat and turned around and walked away from me.
Once he was out of sight, I had to put a hand on my pounding heart inside my chest and concentrate on not
hyperventilating. He always thought I was nice? Then how could he have encouraged me, urged me to go
out of my comfort zone, and then act as though I didn’t exist? Heck, kiss another girl right in front of me
when I thought he was there for me? How could he say those hateful things that made me feel ugly and
worthless to this day? Pretty boys shouldn’t try to hurt nice girls … at least in a perfect world they
shouldn’t.
I didn’t get any more time to dwell on it because one of the nurses came flying around the corner
frantically looking for me.
“Crash on the interstate. Four cars involved, multiple injuries coming in. They need at least four rooms
prepped, if not more. The ambulances are three minutes out, so it’s all hands on deck.”
I didn’t have time to worry anymore about Nash or the past or how off balance any time I was face-to-
face with him made me. I shoved it all aside and settled firmly into the role I was most comfortable in. Here
I had no questions, no doubts, I wasn’t shy or hesitant, I was confident and secure. I just went to work and
did what I did best … helped other people.
It was a long and grueling shift. I had to stay late because after we had the accident victims taken care
of, we had a fire, another accident, and not one, but two gunshot wounds. It was hectic and chaotic, and I
appreciated that it gave me the chance to push aside all my emotions from my
that needed to be gentled … even if he kind of emanated that vibe.
“I’m sorry. Stage four is ugly and has a terrible prognosis no matter what kind of cancer it is.”
He nodded jerkily and tossed his head back on his neck so that he was peering down at me from under
the brim of his ball cap.
“I’m sorry about the other night. I was really drunk, my shit was all over the place, and I swear I’m not
usually that kind of guy. It was very nice of you to come over and check on me, and I acted like a dipshit. I
just wanted to apologize, to tell you thanks.”
I was dumbfounded. That wasn’t what I was expecting from him, so I just stared up at him like a
moron. He must have taken my silence as a rebuff because he pulled his hat off and scraped one of his
hands roughly over the top of his shaved head. His dark eyebrows dipped down low over those fabulous
eyes and his nostrils flared out a little. With that piercing he had in the center of his nose, it kind of made
him look like an angry bull.
“Cut me some slack here, Saint. My life went sideways and this shit has been hard to deal with. I know
you don’t like me, so it was extra nice of you to swing by. What I don’t know is why you don’t like me.”
I jolted back and dropped my defensive stance. Sure, I had my reasons for being standoffish and
keeping my distance from him, but I had never meant to make my discomfort and unease around him
totally palpable to others, especially to him. The last thing I wanted was to relive that moment, either of
them. There was no way I was ever going to tell him that his dismissal, his harsh words, had forever
changed me, forever changed how I looked at the opposite sex. It was humiliating and obviously way more
memorable to me than it was to anyone else. If he had no recollection of it, I wasn’t going to remind him.
He gave his head a shake and put his hat back on his head. He pushed off the vending machine and
shrugged the wide expanse of his shoulders.
“All righty, then. I’ll steer clear of the ER if I can avoid it because clearly I make you really
uncomfortable. I just wanted you to know that I appreciated you reaching out when obviously you would
rather poke your own eye out with a dull spoon. You’re a really nice girl, Saint. I’ve always thought you
were.”
He pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up over his hat and turned around and walked away from me.
Once he was out of sight, I had to put a hand on my pounding heart inside my chest and concentrate on not
hyperventilating. He always thought I was nice? Then how could he have encouraged me, urged me to go
out of my comfort zone, and then act as though I didn’t exist? Heck, kiss another girl right in front of me
when I thought he was there for me? How could he say those hateful things that made me feel ugly and
worthless to this day? Pretty boys shouldn’t try to hurt nice girls … at least in a perfect world they
shouldn’t.
I didn’t get any more time to dwell on it because one of the nurses came flying around the corner
frantically looking for me.
“Crash on the interstate. Four cars involved, multiple injuries coming in. They need at least four rooms
prepped, if not more. The ambulances are three minutes out, so it’s all hands on deck.”
I didn’t have time to worry anymore about Nash or the past or how off balance any time I was face-to-
face with him made me. I shoved it all aside and settled firmly into the role I was most comfortable in. Here
I had no questions, no doubts, I wasn’t shy or hesitant, I was confident and secure. I just went to work and
did what I did best … helped other people.
It was a long and grueling shift. I had to stay late because after we had the accident victims taken care
of, we had a fire, another accident, and not one, but two gunshot wounds. It was hectic and chaotic, and I
appreciated that it gave me the chance to push aside all my emotions from my
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