Read Online Murder Is a Piece of Cake by Elaine Viets - Free Book Online

yelling at you,” Josie said. “That was for Mrs. M’s
     benefit. She’s the one spreading that rumor and she upset Grandma.”
    “Her,” Amelia said. “Nosy b—” She saw her mother’s frown and said, “Uh, person.”
    “Good catch,” Josie said.
    Ted hurried past them lugging a forty-pound bag of topsoil as if it weighed half that.
     “Hi, Amelia,” he called as he ran up the porch steps.
    “Put that bag next to the pots, Ted,” Jane said. “And that’s enough work. You’re coming
     inside so I can look at that cut.”
    “It’s nothing,” Ted said. “I’ve already checked it.”
    “You’re an animal doctor,” Jane said. “You need an expert. That’s me. Upstairs to
     my flat, and if you’re good, you can have chocolate chip cookies.”
    “Never turn those down,” Ted said, and raced up the stairs two at a time. Amelia ran
     behind him. Josie moved a little slower. Her feet hurt in those high heels.
    Jane’s pale green living room was so clean, it made Josie feel guilty. She could see
     the vacuum cleaner tracks in the wall-to-wall carpet and smell the lemon polish. The
     magazines were lined up precisely next to the TV clicker on the dust-free coffee table.
     Jane’s shih tzu, Stuart Little, barked a greeting.
    Ted started to scratch the dog’s ears, when Jane commanded, “In the kitchen and unbutton
     your shirt.”
    “But—,” Ted said.
    Josie hurried into her mother’s kitchen. Ted was seated in a chair with Jane hovering
     over him. Amelia was crunching cookies at the table. The air was perfumed with fresh
     coffee.
    “No cookies until I look at that cut,” Jane said. She had an open first-aid kit on
     the counter. “Just as I thought. This wound wasn’t cleaned properly.” She tore open
     an alcohol wipe and gently dabbed at Ted’s neck.
    “Ow!” he said.
    “Don’t be such a baby,” she said. “Big strong man like you. You carried those heavy
     pots, so you can put up with this.” She squeezed a drop of medicated ointment on a
     Q-tip, applied it to the cut, then covered the wound with a Band-Aid.
    Despite his protests, Ted seemed pleased by Jane’s fussing. Josie realized his own
     mother had never even looked at the cut. Lenore had been too busy swanning in front
     of the TV cameras.
    “There,” Jane said. “Much better. Now tell me about this terrible business.”
    Josie did while Ted sipped coffee and munched cookies. When she finished, Jane said,
     “Goodness.” Jane never used four-letter words, so this was extreme disapproval for
     her. “Amazing,” Amelia said, finishing yet another cookie. Josie had lost count at
     six.
    “At least that Molly won’t be bothering you anymore,” Jane said. “What are the latest
     plans for the wedding, Josie? I need to know, since I’m meeting with you and Ted’s
     mother tomorrow.”
    “Can I turn on the TV?” Amelia interrupted.
    Amelia was bored by the constantly changing details. So was Josie, but she didn’t
     dare admit it. She told Jane about Lenore’s offer to hire a string quartet for the
     wedding and left out her attempted takeover of the reception music. No point giving
     Jane ammunition.
    “Mom!” Amelia shouted from the living room. “Ted’s mother is going to be on TV.”
    “What?” Ted, Josie, and Jane stood up and sprinted for the living room. They arrived
     to see Molly Ann Deaver weeping before the camera.
    “That’s your crazy bride?” Jane said. “She looks normal to me.”
    “She isn’t,” Josie said. “She—”
    Josie stopped, shocked speechless when the announcer said, “Channel Seven has a special
     report at five p.m. about the double-brided doctor and his pistol-packing mama.”
    Then Lenore Scottsmeyer Hall smiled and pointed her pearl-handled pistol straight
     at the screen.

Chapter 7
    Tuesday, October 23
    “Yes, Your Honor, he left me at the altar.” Molly Deaver, a snowstorm of white satin
     and silk illusion, wept scenically for the TV camera—and Judge