Read Online Murder Is a Piece of Cake by Elaine Viets - Free Book Online Page A

Fletcher Hornsby.
    The judge was a dried-up seventy with a fluff of white hair like a rooster comb. Only
     his black robes gave him majesty. He peered over the top of the high oak bench like
     a hungry chicken looking over a fence at feeding time. His small eyes glittered while
     he surveyed the bride.
    Josie, Ted, and Jane stood silent in front of the television in Jane’s living room,
     Stuart Little next to them. They knew they were watching a disaster.
    “That’s your bridezilla?” Jane said. “She seems sweet.”
    “She’s not,” Josie said. “But she’s delivering an Academy Award–winning performance
     as an abandoned bride.”
    “How did she get on TV already?” Ted asked. “And why isn’t she wearing a jumpsuit
     to enter a plea?”
    “There’s your answer sitting at the table. Renzo Fischer,” Josie said. “She must have
     called the best lawyer in St. Louis. Renzo has a real talent for getting around the
     rules.”
    “Fresh wedding dress,” Amelia said from the couch. “You should get one like it, Mom.”
    “Be quiet, Amelia,” Josie said, then instantly felt bad. “I’m sorry, honey. But this
     crazy woman is trying to wreck our lives.”
    Josie tried to hug her daughter, but Amelia shook her off. “Whatever,” she said. “If
     you ask me, you’re the crazy one.”
    “I agree with Amelia, dear,” Jane said. She moved behind a green armchair, as if it
     were a shield. “Not about the dress,” she added, quickly. “Ruffles are not your style.
     But that Molly bride seems surprisingly sane.”
    “I know she does, Mom,” Josie said. “That’s the problem. I hope the TV station will
     show the crazy stuff she did at the clinic.”
    “What about Ted?” Jane said. “That station should have interviewed you.”
    “They did,” Ted said. “I sounded like an idiot. This will be a massacre.”
    Josie’s heart went
ka-chunk
. Ted was right, she thought. Even if Rona showed Molly with the scalpel at Ted’s
     neck, the viewers had already seen her looking sweet as a six-tiered wedding cake.
    The horror show continued to unfold in the courtroom with mournful Molly. “And—and
     he said I was crazy, too,” she said, soft and wounded.
    Judge Hornsby straightened his scrawny shoulders and said, “He did? A pretty little
     thing like you!”
    “Oh, thank you, Your Honor.” Molly batted her eyes at the dried-up judge and squeezed
     out more tears.
    “You’ve made me feel like a woman again,” Molly said. “It helps that an important
     gentleman such as yourself thinks I’m attractive.”
    Her lawyer was beaming like a proud parent at a school play.
    Ted groaned.
    “Any man who doesn’t think you’re beautiful is insane,” the judge said. “You are charged
     with a second-degree felony assault.”
    “No!” Molly said. Her eyes widened dramatically.
    “I’m sorry, my dear,” Judge Hornsby said. “I cannot reduce the charges. Only the prosecutor
     can do that. You did cut a man with a scalpel.” He chuckled, as if a knife attack
     were adorable.
    Josie yelled at the TV screen. “She drew blood!”
    “Not that much,” Ted said.
    “Any blood is too much,” Jane said.
    “Hey, everybody, I can’t hear with you talking,” Amelia said.
    Molly was still explaining her attack on Ted to the judge. “I did cut him, Your Honor.
     I was so upset. It was only a little cut.”
    “How do you plead, Miss Deaver?” the judge asked.
    She looked at Renzo. The little lawyer nodded.
    “Not guilty,” she said, her voice sweet and firm.
    “Your Honor, may I say something else?” Molly asked.
    The judge nodded gently.
    “Ted’s mother went crazy and pulled a gun out of her purse—an actual gun—and threatened
     to shoot me. I would never hurt Ted. You understand, don’t you?”
    “I certainly do,” the judge said, eyes twinkling.
    “Gag me,” Josie said to the TV.
    “Mom!” Amelia said. “How can I find out what happened if you keep talking?”
    “This isn’t what