1
The H Word
My name is A.J. and I hate hate.
Let me explain.
It was a really nice day, so Dr. Brad, the school counselor, took our class out to the playground to talk. We sat in a circle near the monkey bars. Dr. Brad was telling us how kids need to be nicer to each other.
ââHateâ is not a nice verd,â Dr. Brad told us. * âVee should try to be kind and tolerant of uzzer people, even if vee donât like zem so much. Zuh verld vould be a better place if zare vuz less hate, no? So try not to use zat verd.â
âI hate hate,â I said.
âI canât think of anything I hate more than hate,â said Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isnât food.
âI hate people who hate people,â said Michael, who never ties his shoes.
Everybody agreed that they hated hate. Well, everybody except Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair.
âIf we shouldnât hate things,â Andrea said, âthen we shouldnât hate hate. Right?â
Huh?
âYeah, we should like hate,â said her crybaby friend Emily, who agrees with everything Andrea says.
âBut it would be wrong to like hate,â said Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.
âI hate hate, but I hate hating hate, too,â said Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard everywhere.
I thought my head was going to explode. I hate when that happens.
âNobody hates hate more than I hate hate,â said Ryan.
âI hate hate more than you hate hate!â said Michael.
âYou do not!â
âI do too!â
They went back and forth like that for a while.
âHate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate,â everybody was saying.
âSHTOP ZAYING HATE!â Dr. Brad shouted.
âBut you just said it!â I told him.
Dr. Brad closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. Did you ever notice that only grown-ups rub their forehead with their fingers? Kids never do that. I guess when you grow up, your forehead gets itchy. Grown-ups are constantly rubbing their forehead with their fingers.
âZuh point is,â said Dr. Brad, âvee should try to use zuh H verd less, and love each uzzer more.â
Everybody started giggling and poking each other with their elbows, because Dr. Brad said the L word. Anytime somebody says âlove,â you should start giggling and poking the person next to you with your elbow. Thatâs the first rule of being a kid.
â You know vut I mean,â Dr. Brad said. âIf you have a disagreement viz somevon, you should try to talk it out instead of fighting about it all zuh time.â
Dr. Brad got up and we all walked near the woods at the end of the playground. Weâre not supposed to play back there. Our principal, Mr. Klutz, once told us that he saw a big, black bear out there one day. He was probably just kidding, but I stay away from the back of the playground anyway, because I donât want to get attacked by a big, black bear.
Thatâs when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened!
There was a loud sound in the trees.
We all turned around.
And youâll never believe in a million hundred years what came roaring out of the woods.
No, it wasnât a big, black bear.
Ha! You thought it was a big, black bear, didnât you? Well, nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you, because it wasnât. It was a big, black motorcycle . A big, black, loud motorcycle. And it was coming straight at us!
âEeek!â shouted all the girls.
âRun for your life!â shouted Neil the nude kid.
The big, black motorcycle skidded to a stop right next to Dr. Brad. After the dust cleared, the guy riding the motorcycle took off his helmet. He had deep-blue eyes and long, dark hair. He said only one word.
âYo.â
2
Mr. Jack Is Cool
Is âyoâ even a word?
I know that âyo-yoâ is a word. I saw this guy at a toy store once who
The H Word
My name is A.J. and I hate hate.
Let me explain.
It was a really nice day, so Dr. Brad, the school counselor, took our class out to the playground to talk. We sat in a circle near the monkey bars. Dr. Brad was telling us how kids need to be nicer to each other.
ââHateâ is not a nice verd,â Dr. Brad told us. * âVee should try to be kind and tolerant of uzzer people, even if vee donât like zem so much. Zuh verld vould be a better place if zare vuz less hate, no? So try not to use zat verd.â
âI hate hate,â I said.
âI canât think of anything I hate more than hate,â said Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isnât food.
âI hate people who hate people,â said Michael, who never ties his shoes.
Everybody agreed that they hated hate. Well, everybody except Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair.
âIf we shouldnât hate things,â Andrea said, âthen we shouldnât hate hate. Right?â
Huh?
âYeah, we should like hate,â said her crybaby friend Emily, who agrees with everything Andrea says.
âBut it would be wrong to like hate,â said Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes.
âI hate hate, but I hate hating hate, too,â said Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard everywhere.
I thought my head was going to explode. I hate when that happens.
âNobody hates hate more than I hate hate,â said Ryan.
âI hate hate more than you hate hate!â said Michael.
âYou do not!â
âI do too!â
They went back and forth like that for a while.
âHate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate,â everybody was saying.
âSHTOP ZAYING HATE!â Dr. Brad shouted.
âBut you just said it!â I told him.
Dr. Brad closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. Did you ever notice that only grown-ups rub their forehead with their fingers? Kids never do that. I guess when you grow up, your forehead gets itchy. Grown-ups are constantly rubbing their forehead with their fingers.
âZuh point is,â said Dr. Brad, âvee should try to use zuh H verd less, and love each uzzer more.â
Everybody started giggling and poking each other with their elbows, because Dr. Brad said the L word. Anytime somebody says âlove,â you should start giggling and poking the person next to you with your elbow. Thatâs the first rule of being a kid.
â You know vut I mean,â Dr. Brad said. âIf you have a disagreement viz somevon, you should try to talk it out instead of fighting about it all zuh time.â
Dr. Brad got up and we all walked near the woods at the end of the playground. Weâre not supposed to play back there. Our principal, Mr. Klutz, once told us that he saw a big, black bear out there one day. He was probably just kidding, but I stay away from the back of the playground anyway, because I donât want to get attacked by a big, black bear.
Thatâs when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened!
There was a loud sound in the trees.
We all turned around.
And youâll never believe in a million hundred years what came roaring out of the woods.
No, it wasnât a big, black bear.
Ha! You thought it was a big, black bear, didnât you? Well, nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you, because it wasnât. It was a big, black motorcycle . A big, black, loud motorcycle. And it was coming straight at us!
âEeek!â shouted all the girls.
âRun for your life!â shouted Neil the nude kid.
The big, black motorcycle skidded to a stop right next to Dr. Brad. After the dust cleared, the guy riding the motorcycle took off his helmet. He had deep-blue eyes and long, dark hair. He said only one word.
âYo.â
2
Mr. Jack Is Cool
Is âyoâ even a word?
I know that âyo-yoâ is a word. I saw this guy at a toy store once who
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