look inside her. The intensity caused Mira to turn her attention back to the mostly empty stew bowl.
“Here.” he said and produced a small pouch of herbs from one of his pockets. “This should help.”
Mira opened the pouch and looked inside. She recognized a number of the herbs and nodded. She figured that she could add some of it to her tea. “Thank you,” she said, and then there was more silence. She really didn’t know how to act. She kept seeing flashes of what happened go through her mind. Mira accepted that this was her life now. Whatever he was, and whatever he was going to do, she would have to either live with it or ask him to kill her. She was beginning to understand why the others chose death.
“You’re thinking very hard,” Rillan said.
Mira looked up and saw the concern on his face. “I guess I am.”
Rillan nodded, poured the tea, and came over to the table. He plucked the bag of herbs up and put a few pinches into her cup before handing it to her. “May I ask what’s making your brow furrow so deeply?”
Mira could almost feel the resignation and concern weighted in the words. “I’m not ready to die yet, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Rillan’s eyes bored into her. “Good.”
They sat in silence some more. Neither of them knew what was supposed to come next. Rillan was getting frustrated again. Now he knew she was alright and wasn’t going to volunteer to be put out on the slab in front of his cave, his mind was reverting to safer feelings. Anger was the one he felt most comfortable with.
When Rillan started tapping his fingers impatiently, Mira broke the silence again. “Will it always be like that,” she asked softly.
Rillan’s tone was harsher than he intended. “How long have you been sitting there stewing to ask me that?”
“I’m not trying to insult you,” she replied defensively.
Rillan stood up and paced away from her. “No, it shouldn’t always be like that.” He knew that she didn’t realize it was his fault, and he didn’t want to admit to it. If she didn’t hate him now, he figured she would the minute she realized that he had been playing games and risked her life trying to make a point. He waited for her to ask why it had been so bad that time, but the question never came.
“I’m tired,” Mira said finally. She didn’t want to sit there with her aching head and watch him fume. She didn’t even know what she said that was so terrible, and she didn’t feel like figuring it out. “Do you mind if I go to sleep now?”
Rillan glared at her. Is she actually dismissing me? He growled. “Fine. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours.”
Mira nodded. I don’t plan on being awake in a few hours, she thought. If agreeing would make him go away, she would do whatever she needed to.
His boots could be heard retreating down the hall, followed by a slamming door. Mira put her hand to her aching head. “He could of at least closed it without so much noise.”
Mira didn’t bother to pick up the dishes or the food. She wanted to be asleep again. Pulling the blankets back, Mira dropped her robe across the foot the bed, and climbed into the cool silky sheets. She sunk down into the soft bedding and was asleep almost instantly.
* * * *
Rillan checked on Mira several times, over the next few days. She remained asleep. His paranoia getting to him, Rillan started to wonder if she was sleeping so much because
“Here.” he said and produced a small pouch of herbs from one of his pockets. “This should help.”
Mira opened the pouch and looked inside. She recognized a number of the herbs and nodded. She figured that she could add some of it to her tea. “Thank you,” she said, and then there was more silence. She really didn’t know how to act. She kept seeing flashes of what happened go through her mind. Mira accepted that this was her life now. Whatever he was, and whatever he was going to do, she would have to either live with it or ask him to kill her. She was beginning to understand why the others chose death.
“You’re thinking very hard,” Rillan said.
Mira looked up and saw the concern on his face. “I guess I am.”
Rillan nodded, poured the tea, and came over to the table. He plucked the bag of herbs up and put a few pinches into her cup before handing it to her. “May I ask what’s making your brow furrow so deeply?”
Mira could almost feel the resignation and concern weighted in the words. “I’m not ready to die yet, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Rillan’s eyes bored into her. “Good.”
They sat in silence some more. Neither of them knew what was supposed to come next. Rillan was getting frustrated again. Now he knew she was alright and wasn’t going to volunteer to be put out on the slab in front of his cave, his mind was reverting to safer feelings. Anger was the one he felt most comfortable with.
When Rillan started tapping his fingers impatiently, Mira broke the silence again. “Will it always be like that,” she asked softly.
Rillan’s tone was harsher than he intended. “How long have you been sitting there stewing to ask me that?”
“I’m not trying to insult you,” she replied defensively.
Rillan stood up and paced away from her. “No, it shouldn’t always be like that.” He knew that she didn’t realize it was his fault, and he didn’t want to admit to it. If she didn’t hate him now, he figured she would the minute she realized that he had been playing games and risked her life trying to make a point. He waited for her to ask why it had been so bad that time, but the question never came.
“I’m tired,” Mira said finally. She didn’t want to sit there with her aching head and watch him fume. She didn’t even know what she said that was so terrible, and she didn’t feel like figuring it out. “Do you mind if I go to sleep now?”
Rillan glared at her. Is she actually dismissing me? He growled. “Fine. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours.”
Mira nodded. I don’t plan on being awake in a few hours, she thought. If agreeing would make him go away, she would do whatever she needed to.
His boots could be heard retreating down the hall, followed by a slamming door. Mira put her hand to her aching head. “He could of at least closed it without so much noise.”
Mira didn’t bother to pick up the dishes or the food. She wanted to be asleep again. Pulling the blankets back, Mira dropped her robe across the foot the bed, and climbed into the cool silky sheets. She sunk down into the soft bedding and was asleep almost instantly.
* * * *
Rillan checked on Mira several times, over the next few days. She remained asleep. His paranoia getting to him, Rillan started to wonder if she was sleeping so much because
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