Read Online Men Still at Work: Professionals Over Sixty and on the Job by Elizabeth F. Fideler - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Elizabeth F. Fideler
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was not around very much. As a result, Allan was determined to be a nurturing and attentive father to his own children. Sometimes wondering whether he was born with an extra nurturing gene, Allan is gratified that many of the young men he associates with refer to him as “Dad.” For example, a young Native American father from the Taos Pueblo asked Allan to become his father and they informally agreed to become father and son.
Allan draws immense satisfaction from bringing attention to a fundamentally important set of social and educational issues and getting people to think differently about being a dad and more broadly about the changing role of men. Nevertheless, his modest income from this work couldn’t keep pace with the rising cost of health insurance. The solution was to take another job that offers health insurance benefits if he works an annual average of at least twenty hours per week.
Initially, Allan’s three grown daughters were shocked at his decision to do work that seemed “menial” and made no use of his professional training and experience, and they were worried that the physical challenges might be too great. But after seven and a half years as a “crew member” at a Trader Joe’s store, the job is no longer a source of contention within the family. And he has been explicit in pointing out that sometimes one makes these kinds of life decisions to pursue a higher calling. The store is so close to his home in Chevy Chase, Maryland, that his commute is a mere ten-minute walk. “Walking to and from the store and doing the physical work required is like going to the gym. The work is fun, I meet very interesting customers, and I have a group of wonderful coworkers who are very different from others I’ve ever worked with. I enjoy it, and I never have to take my job home with me.” His colleagues call him “The Mayor of Trader Joe’s” and tell him, “For an old guy you’re in pretty good shape!” They can’t believe that he’s seventy-one; some have even insisted on seeing an ID to prove his age.
When I asked Allan how long he expects to continue working at his main job, REEL FATHERS, he replied that “retirement” doesn’t even enter his thoughts. “So much still needs to get done. People are beginning to pay attention to daddying and the work of REEL FATHERS, its mission and its programs. My work is incredibly gratifying and my schedule also enables me to make time to spend with my eight grandchildren. Why would I ever consider stopping?”
In fact, Allan thinks he might be more productive now than ever before as this combination of professional and family commitments seems finally to bring together the sum total of his life’s work and those things that are most important to him personally. Mothering Magazine apparently agrees: the June 2008 issue featured him as a “Living Treasure.”
While leisure time is almost nonexistent, one thing Allan remembers to do for himself is to take an annual solitary retreat in a cabin in the Eastern Sierra Mountains of California. Last year he went for a ten-day retreat and produced “Seventy Thoughts . . . and Then Some” as well as “The Adventures of Daddy Appleseed.” Both were written to share “points picked-up” with his children and his grandchildren. This year he went for eight days to work on other writings. Next year he plans a twelve-day stay to adapt some of these thoughts and points picked up for sharing more publicly. One piece of advice will be, “Don’t allow your intellect to bully your intuition.” Another will capture the essence of a George Bernard Shaw quotation from Man and Superman (1905) that Allan has lived by for years:
This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life
Allan draws immense satisfaction from bringing attention to a fundamentally important set of social and educational issues and getting people to think differently about being a dad and more broadly about the changing role of men. Nevertheless, his modest income from this work couldn’t keep pace with the rising cost of health insurance. The solution was to take another job that offers health insurance benefits if he works an annual average of at least twenty hours per week.
Initially, Allan’s three grown daughters were shocked at his decision to do work that seemed “menial” and made no use of his professional training and experience, and they were worried that the physical challenges might be too great. But after seven and a half years as a “crew member” at a Trader Joe’s store, the job is no longer a source of contention within the family. And he has been explicit in pointing out that sometimes one makes these kinds of life decisions to pursue a higher calling. The store is so close to his home in Chevy Chase, Maryland, that his commute is a mere ten-minute walk. “Walking to and from the store and doing the physical work required is like going to the gym. The work is fun, I meet very interesting customers, and I have a group of wonderful coworkers who are very different from others I’ve ever worked with. I enjoy it, and I never have to take my job home with me.” His colleagues call him “The Mayor of Trader Joe’s” and tell him, “For an old guy you’re in pretty good shape!” They can’t believe that he’s seventy-one; some have even insisted on seeing an ID to prove his age.
When I asked Allan how long he expects to continue working at his main job, REEL FATHERS, he replied that “retirement” doesn’t even enter his thoughts. “So much still needs to get done. People are beginning to pay attention to daddying and the work of REEL FATHERS, its mission and its programs. My work is incredibly gratifying and my schedule also enables me to make time to spend with my eight grandchildren. Why would I ever consider stopping?”
In fact, Allan thinks he might be more productive now than ever before as this combination of professional and family commitments seems finally to bring together the sum total of his life’s work and those things that are most important to him personally. Mothering Magazine apparently agrees: the June 2008 issue featured him as a “Living Treasure.”
While leisure time is almost nonexistent, one thing Allan remembers to do for himself is to take an annual solitary retreat in a cabin in the Eastern Sierra Mountains of California. Last year he went for a ten-day retreat and produced “Seventy Thoughts . . . and Then Some” as well as “The Adventures of Daddy Appleseed.” Both were written to share “points picked-up” with his children and his grandchildren. This year he went for eight days to work on other writings. Next year he plans a twelve-day stay to adapt some of these thoughts and points picked up for sharing more publicly. One piece of advice will be, “Don’t allow your intellect to bully your intuition.” Another will capture the essence of a George Bernard Shaw quotation from Man and Superman (1905) that Allan has lived by for years:
This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life
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