Read Online Men Still at Work: Professionals Over Sixty and on the Job by Elizabeth F. Fideler - Free Book Online
Authors: Elizabeth F. Fideler
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Concerns Council and was named an “Outstanding Parishioner.”
We were well into the interview process when Paul shared his most personal reason for continuing to work: one thing that drives him to keep going is to do what his father did not have a chance to do. When his father died after a long battle with TB, Paul was only ten. “My dad’s family life and his professional life were cut short. Even before he died, I was aware of the desperate struggle my parents were mounting in those pre-antibiotic years to find the right ‘climate cure’ for him, first in Tucson, Arizona, then Waukegan, Illinois, and finally Saranac Lake, New York. Ever since my father’s death, whenever I have faced a seemingly daunting challenge, recalling what he and my mother were facing in those years quickly puts matters in their proper perspective.”
When we return to the retirement conversation, Paul concedes that my well-being is a central consideration. But, since I am busy researching and writing books, he feels free to go on with his work. Like many of the older men and women I interviewed, Paul thinks “you should work if you’re feeling healthy and still enjoying it.” He sees the “boundary” between work and retirement evolving into more of a threshold or transition. Individuals are defining their own life cycles, subject to changing expectations and conditions, for example, health and the economy. “Retirement is no longer an automatic next stage toward which we march in lock step. Of course, this applies to people who are fortunate enough to have a choice in the matter.”
What if a man doesn’t know how to parent? (Sorry about using a noun as a verb, but that is the correct term.) Educator and author Allan Shedlin has dedicated his life’s work to researching and writing about parenting and developing programs to foster positive engagement between fathers and their children. He is especially grateful to two men who helped him develop his own special gift for working with children. Now seventy-one, he wouldn’t dream of retiring because he loves his work and “So much still needs to get done.”
Profile: Allan Shedlin
In the belief that “A father is not something you are, but something you do,” Allan Shedlin coined the term “daddying” in 1994 to connote where fatherhood and nurturing merge. At the time, many people told him that the term was too wimpy and that men would never speak it; however, some dozen or so years later, “daddying” began to appear (unattributed) on Hallmark cards. Allan’s friends and colleagues suggested he sue Hallmark, but he was delighted to see the word gaining wider usage. In 2003 he founded DADS Unlimited as a vehicle for strengthening men’s parenting skills. In 2008 Allan invited two colleagues to join him—a documentary filmmaker and a clinical social worker/narrative therapist—to create REEL FATHERS, an initiative that “inspires and supports men to build loving, committed relationships with their children by using film as a touchstone for reflective dialogue, by teaching key skills, and by elevating the cultural perception of fathers.”
Through his commentaries in the popular press, by 2009–10 Allan attracted the attention of the White House Office of Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships. This office invited Allan to offer the new administration suggestions on how the president could lead a fatherhood movement. After many years of researching and writing about parenting and developing programs to foster positive engagement between fathers and their children, Allan was excited about this possibility. After hearing what the White House was already planning, he offered two specific suggestions: first, raising the bar of expectations and signaling that by replacing the tired phrase of “encouraging responsible fatherhood” with something more compelling, the president would encourage fathers to reach higher. Suspecting that the administration might not
We were well into the interview process when Paul shared his most personal reason for continuing to work: one thing that drives him to keep going is to do what his father did not have a chance to do. When his father died after a long battle with TB, Paul was only ten. “My dad’s family life and his professional life were cut short. Even before he died, I was aware of the desperate struggle my parents were mounting in those pre-antibiotic years to find the right ‘climate cure’ for him, first in Tucson, Arizona, then Waukegan, Illinois, and finally Saranac Lake, New York. Ever since my father’s death, whenever I have faced a seemingly daunting challenge, recalling what he and my mother were facing in those years quickly puts matters in their proper perspective.”
When we return to the retirement conversation, Paul concedes that my well-being is a central consideration. But, since I am busy researching and writing books, he feels free to go on with his work. Like many of the older men and women I interviewed, Paul thinks “you should work if you’re feeling healthy and still enjoying it.” He sees the “boundary” between work and retirement evolving into more of a threshold or transition. Individuals are defining their own life cycles, subject to changing expectations and conditions, for example, health and the economy. “Retirement is no longer an automatic next stage toward which we march in lock step. Of course, this applies to people who are fortunate enough to have a choice in the matter.”
What if a man doesn’t know how to parent? (Sorry about using a noun as a verb, but that is the correct term.) Educator and author Allan Shedlin has dedicated his life’s work to researching and writing about parenting and developing programs to foster positive engagement between fathers and their children. He is especially grateful to two men who helped him develop his own special gift for working with children. Now seventy-one, he wouldn’t dream of retiring because he loves his work and “So much still needs to get done.”
Profile: Allan Shedlin
In the belief that “A father is not something you are, but something you do,” Allan Shedlin coined the term “daddying” in 1994 to connote where fatherhood and nurturing merge. At the time, many people told him that the term was too wimpy and that men would never speak it; however, some dozen or so years later, “daddying” began to appear (unattributed) on Hallmark cards. Allan’s friends and colleagues suggested he sue Hallmark, but he was delighted to see the word gaining wider usage. In 2003 he founded DADS Unlimited as a vehicle for strengthening men’s parenting skills. In 2008 Allan invited two colleagues to join him—a documentary filmmaker and a clinical social worker/narrative therapist—to create REEL FATHERS, an initiative that “inspires and supports men to build loving, committed relationships with their children by using film as a touchstone for reflective dialogue, by teaching key skills, and by elevating the cultural perception of fathers.”
Through his commentaries in the popular press, by 2009–10 Allan attracted the attention of the White House Office of Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships. This office invited Allan to offer the new administration suggestions on how the president could lead a fatherhood movement. After many years of researching and writing about parenting and developing programs to foster positive engagement between fathers and their children, Allan was excited about this possibility. After hearing what the White House was already planning, he offered two specific suggestions: first, raising the bar of expectations and signaling that by replacing the tired phrase of “encouraging responsible fatherhood” with something more compelling, the president would encourage fathers to reach higher. Suspecting that the administration might not
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