Read Online Mascot Madness! by Andy Griffiths - Free Book Online

other issues at stake here,’ I said.
    â€˜What?’ said Jenny impatiently. ‘That you need somebody dancing around in a banana costume to make you believe in yourself?’
    â€˜No,’ I said. ‘But—’
    Suddenly Newton, Jack and Gretel yelled at us from the other side of the yard. ‘Henry! Jenny! Watch out! They’re coming!’
    We didn’t have to ask who they meant. We could already smell the choking fumes and hear the horn of the bus as it roared towards the school.
    â€˜Nobody move!’ said Jenny.
    â€˜Are you crazy?’ I said.
    â€˜No,’ she said, walking towards the front of the school. ‘Come with me.’
    â€˜Jenny?’ I said, wondering if mascot madness was contagious. ‘Are you feeling all right?’
    â€˜Never better,’ she said. ‘Come on!’

29
Tomato attack!

    Jenny ran to the fence, right beside the road.
    The Northwest West Academy bus was coming!
    My instinct was to run . . . but I couldn’t. Not with Jenny out there. Reluctantly, I ran after her.
    The bus was loud now. We could hear the Northwest West students yelling at us. Their taunts were mostly unintelligible, but I heard the word ‘LOSERS’ loud and clear.
    I looked around.
    Jenny and I were flanked by Newton, Gretel and Jack. The rest of the students had ducked for cover.
    Troy Gurgling leaned out of the bus window and yelled ‘Fire!’, and the attack began.
    Red objects flew out of the bus windows.
    Tomatoes!
    Then, to my utter surprise, I flung out my arms and caught a tomato in each hand. I wasn’t theonly one. Jack, Jenny, Gretel and Newton each caught a couple as well.
    There was a moment when everything seemed to stop.
    The yelling from the bus stopped.
    We froze, our hands full of tomatoes.
    â€˜Let’s go!’ yelled Jenny.
    We went.
    We sprinted out the school gate, up the road, and after the bus.
    The surprised faces of Troy Gurgling and other Northwest West Academy students were pressed against the back window of the bus. And instead of yelling at us about what losers we were, they were yelling at their bus driver to go faster.
    Their surprise was only exceeded by ours.
    We could hardly believe how effortlessly we were gaining on the bus. Running had always seemed hard work, but now it was as easy as if we were being blown along by the wind.
    When we got close to the bus, Jenny gave the command to launch our tomatoes.
    â€˜Fire!’ she shouted.
    We fired—the first wave from our right hands, the second wave from our left.
    The back window of the Northwest West Academy bus was covered in the red splodge of squashed tomatoes.
    â€˜See you tomorrow!’ yelled Jack, as we slowed down and watched the bus speed away.
    â€˜That was fun!’ said Newton, walking slightly taller than I’d ever seen him.
    I nodded. ‘You can say that again.’ I looked across at Jenny. ‘You were right,’ I said. ‘We can do it on our own, banana or no.’
    She just smiled.

30
Mr Grunt’s program

    As we walked back into the schoolyard, the rest of the Northwest Southeast Central School students gave us a rousing cheer.
    â€˜Well, I’ll be darned,’ said Mr Grunt. ‘Way to go, kids! Looks like my cutting-edge training is finally paying off. Took a few years, but it’s definitely working.’
    We looked at each other and grinned.
    We knew the truth. It was nothing to do with Mr Grunt’s training—it was the Brainfright Program for Sporting Excellence that was finally paying off.
    Mr Grunt was the happiest I’d ever seen him. ‘I knew, of course, that prolonged exposure to an expert athlete like myself would have to affect your performance sooner or later. After all, how could you watch me for all this time and not learn anything? It’s ridiculous!’
    â€˜It’s not watching you that’s made us better,’ said Jack, unable to endure Mr