Read Online Losing Faith by Denise Jaden - Free Book Online Page B

pull at the bottom of it in a vain attempt to flatten them out and wonder if I should be wearing something more somber than my bright orange retro tee.
    My hair is no better. I guess I forgot to straighten it this morning. Or brush it. I run my fingers through until I hear Dustin’s loud voice and turn to look for him.
    “Oh. Brie.” He sounds surprised to see me.
    “Hi.” I smile, glad that my voice comes out steady. But I don’t touch him. Let him make the first move.
    He pulls me in and slides his arm around me. At first, I’mrelieved and let out a long-held breath, but then he kisses my neck and nuzzles into it and I feel smothered, like I can’t get any air. “You want to go somewhere?” he whispers.
    I pull back, but his grip on my back holds strong. Turning my head, I take a big, calming breath. I guess I wasn’t expecting just to fall back onto the losing my virginity train so quickly. “Um, no,” I say. But in a flash, I wonder if I’m overreacting. He’s being nice to me and I should appreciate it. He hasn’t taken offense because I didn’t call all week and I don’t want to say or do anything I’ll regret.
    But I can’t go off alone with him and make out. I just can’t imagine his mouth on mine right now. The thought of not being able to breathe brings me to a cold sweat. And after the way I almost cried with Amy earlier, I might totally fall apart on him. I just need some time to get my footing. “I mean, I’ve got Geometry next. I was gone all last week so I really can’t miss it.”
    He stares at me but doesn’t let go, and I’m really starting to feel panicked, trapped.
    When Evan walks up behind him and grabs his shoulder, Dustin jumps and pulls away in one motion.
    “You coming, or what?” he asks Dustin, giving me a half nod.
    “Oh, yeah, right.” Dustin looks back at me, then raises his eyebrows. “I’ll see you later.”
    Later is okay. It’s better than now. I force a smile and suck in another lungful of oxygen.
    When Dustin and Evan turn the corner and move out of sight, I realize how few people are left in the hallway. In fact, only one person remains.
    Tessa Lockbaum.
    She leans beside the water fountain, and when I look at her, she doesn’t avert her eyes the way most people would. I wonder how long she’s been there. Was she watching Dustin and me?
    The next bell sounds, which means I’m officially late. Perfect. But at least my classroom is in the opposite direction of where Tessa stands. I scurry down the hall away from her, trying to ignore Faith’s humming.
    When lunch rolls around, I can’t find Amy anywhere in the cafeteria. Either I missed her or she’s starving herself again. Since Dustin’s a senior, he has a different lunch period. Steph and the other girls Amy and I usually sit with are laughing and chatting across the cafeteria. I’m tired and don’t feel like putting in the effort of a strong front right now. Instead, I plop down at a lonely table and ignore the eyes and whispers of those at the tables around me.
    What can I expect on my first day back? I knew it wasgoing to be weird. I guess this is just a different weird than I anticipated.
    “Give it time,” I tell myself.
    The rest of the afternoon, I keep to myself, which my classmates make extremely easy for me. I walk home alone and when I round the corner onto our street, a big, rectangular truck with the Family Thrift Store logo sits in our driveway. I catch my breath. It’s way too soon for this. Dad must have seen the packed-up boxes and decided to just get them out of the house. But I wonder, in his super-efficiency, if he’s packed up the rest of her stuff as well. I gave Faith’s room only a cursory glance. What if I want to keep something else?
    When I get closer, I see Mom at the front door. She’s still in her robe and slippers, shaking her head violently at the pudgy man in gray coveralls. Sections of her hair stick out like legs on a spider. She holds her hand up like a