jumped when she opened it.
Her
eyes found me, watched me lift the mic from the main stand. She had
one set up as well, elevated just out of the way so it would catch
the music she made, and her voice.
Straightening
up, I faced the crowd, closing my eyes. The breath I took was long,
deep; it filled the entirety of my belly.
Now, I
thought, as the room went silent, now,
let this begin.
A
well oiled machine, Bethany read my stance, knew I was prepared.
The
first low, cutting edge of the piano keys hit the air. I bathed in
the darkness of my lids, squeezing the mic handle to force myself to
be patient. She played the music I had transcribed, shared it with a
room that could not have predicted it.
I'd
counted on some people knowing the song, especially after talking to
Nicholas. Popular
music taken in a different direction. This is what will make them
remember us.
It
wasn't until I started to sing that the students recognized the song.
“ Cool
sorrow,” I breathed, baritone, stretching into the ether. “Fall
away, fall away...”
The
room gasped, some clapping or squeaking excitedly. I wondered if
Bethany understood why; I hoped she thought it was simply our
performance, not us appealing to fans.
“ Crashing
like a wave,” I swooned, “sinking deep into the night. I
am yours, but always just outside of reach...”
“ Clear
as ice”, Bethany joined in, mingling with my words for the
chorus. “Drumming, crashing, losing you everywhere!”
Yes, I
thought excitedly, brimming with energy, filling with glee. Opening
my eyes, I tried to see the crowd; the lights glaring, blocking most
of them out. Their cheers, the vibrations of their existence pulled
at something so low in my core.
“ Cool
sorrow,” I sang, moving towards the piano, catching the flushed
face of Bethany. She was pure focus, not even looking at me as she
played. Those blue orbs were stuck on the music sheets. My pulse
raced, far faster than our somber tune.
She's
going to see it soon, oh god. She's going to know what I really want.
When
she looked up, singing with me again, I glimpsed a flicker of
something I hadn't seen before. The attention of someone, someone who
was finally, actually seeing me.
Does
she like me, too?
I
had been counting on wooing her, but perhaps... perhaps it had been
unneeded effort.
Bethany
smiled, teeth pure white while she let the music slide down her
tongue.
“ Cool
sorrow,” we sang, merging together, high pitch versus low.
“Fall away... fall away...”
The
song ended, the crowd exploded.
She
was laughing, delighted, until she looked at the music sheet. Pasted
to the very last page was my note, clear as day.
This
is it, this is the moment.
Gripping
the folder, she shut it briskly. With her jaw tight, Bethany stood,
moving towards me. A fear unlike any other grew in me, so sharp it
made me worry I'd faint. I watched her stand beside me. She was only
a foot away, but she felt so much further.
Together,
we bowed to the clapping. I was grateful neither of us could have
attempted to speak over all the noise.
I
was afraid Bethany would have had nothing but silence for me, if
given the choice.
“ Give
it up for Bethany Sommer and Deacon Day!” The announcer
declared, raising more cheers. I looked up, thought I saw my parents
in the crowd, recording everything. It was enough of a second or two
that I almost missed Bethany turning on her heel, stomping towards
the stage exit.
Oh
no, oh no, I made her angry!
Awash
with shame, I made myself follow her, the sounds of our successful
show fading in my ears. “Bethany!” I shouted, spotting
her as she hurried for the school doors. “Bethany, wait!”
The
night air was crisp, I saw my breath as I followed her into the quiet
parking lot. In the light of the tall lamps, her hair looked ghostly.
“Bethany, please, I—”
Whirling,
her dress a blur, she cut me off with a sharp shout. “What is
this? What is this supposed to mean?”
“ I—what?”
I stuttered,
Her
eyes found me, watched me lift the mic from the main stand. She had
one set up as well, elevated just out of the way so it would catch
the music she made, and her voice.
Straightening
up, I faced the crowd, closing my eyes. The breath I took was long,
deep; it filled the entirety of my belly.
Now, I
thought, as the room went silent, now,
let this begin.
A
well oiled machine, Bethany read my stance, knew I was prepared.
The
first low, cutting edge of the piano keys hit the air. I bathed in
the darkness of my lids, squeezing the mic handle to force myself to
be patient. She played the music I had transcribed, shared it with a
room that could not have predicted it.
I'd
counted on some people knowing the song, especially after talking to
Nicholas. Popular
music taken in a different direction. This is what will make them
remember us.
It
wasn't until I started to sing that the students recognized the song.
“ Cool
sorrow,” I breathed, baritone, stretching into the ether. “Fall
away, fall away...”
The
room gasped, some clapping or squeaking excitedly. I wondered if
Bethany understood why; I hoped she thought it was simply our
performance, not us appealing to fans.
“ Crashing
like a wave,” I swooned, “sinking deep into the night. I
am yours, but always just outside of reach...”
“ Clear
as ice”, Bethany joined in, mingling with my words for the
chorus. “Drumming, crashing, losing you everywhere!”
Yes, I
thought excitedly, brimming with energy, filling with glee. Opening
my eyes, I tried to see the crowd; the lights glaring, blocking most
of them out. Their cheers, the vibrations of their existence pulled
at something so low in my core.
“ Cool
sorrow,” I sang, moving towards the piano, catching the flushed
face of Bethany. She was pure focus, not even looking at me as she
played. Those blue orbs were stuck on the music sheets. My pulse
raced, far faster than our somber tune.
She's
going to see it soon, oh god. She's going to know what I really want.
When
she looked up, singing with me again, I glimpsed a flicker of
something I hadn't seen before. The attention of someone, someone who
was finally, actually seeing me.
Does
she like me, too?
I
had been counting on wooing her, but perhaps... perhaps it had been
unneeded effort.
Bethany
smiled, teeth pure white while she let the music slide down her
tongue.
“ Cool
sorrow,” we sang, merging together, high pitch versus low.
“Fall away... fall away...”
The
song ended, the crowd exploded.
She
was laughing, delighted, until she looked at the music sheet. Pasted
to the very last page was my note, clear as day.
This
is it, this is the moment.
Gripping
the folder, she shut it briskly. With her jaw tight, Bethany stood,
moving towards me. A fear unlike any other grew in me, so sharp it
made me worry I'd faint. I watched her stand beside me. She was only
a foot away, but she felt so much further.
Together,
we bowed to the clapping. I was grateful neither of us could have
attempted to speak over all the noise.
I
was afraid Bethany would have had nothing but silence for me, if
given the choice.
“ Give
it up for Bethany Sommer and Deacon Day!” The announcer
declared, raising more cheers. I looked up, thought I saw my parents
in the crowd, recording everything. It was enough of a second or two
that I almost missed Bethany turning on her heel, stomping towards
the stage exit.
Oh
no, oh no, I made her angry!
Awash
with shame, I made myself follow her, the sounds of our successful
show fading in my ears. “Bethany!” I shouted, spotting
her as she hurried for the school doors. “Bethany, wait!”
The
night air was crisp, I saw my breath as I followed her into the quiet
parking lot. In the light of the tall lamps, her hair looked ghostly.
“Bethany, please, I—”
Whirling,
her dress a blur, she cut me off with a sharp shout. “What is
this? What is this supposed to mean?”
“ I—what?”
I stuttered,
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