Read Online Let's Stay Together by J.J. Murray - Free Book Online

week in between the curses and the glass breaking and while two other men were putting their pants on backward. Now that was a dramatic scene. “Let’s keep going, Barbie, and maybe Randy will catch on. Marcus and I are through.”
    “Since when?” Barbie asked.
    “Since I caught him doing two men on my couch,” Lauren said.
    “You did?” Barbie asked. “Oh, Lauren, that’s terrible! That’s . . . that’s nasty! Who were they?”
    “No, no, no!” Randy yelled. “Where did the two dudes come from?”
    “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Randy,” Lauren said. “Known people. Men with wives and kids. Big names with beach houses and spotless reputations. Hallmark Hall of Fame people. I’ll bet they were even closet Republicans.”
    “Really?” Barbie said. “That is so sick! What is up with men these days?”
    “They say that we don’t know what we want,” Lauren said. “ They don’t know what they want, either.”
    “So you were Chazz’s beard all these years?” Barbie asked.
    What a nasty way to put it, but it’s true. I was Chazz’s cover. “I guess I was. He only needed me around so he could appear heterosexual.”
    “I always wondered why his eyebrows were so much nicer than yours,” Barbie said. “Now I know. Did he use bronzer, too?”
    “You know,” Lauren said. “He did. He used it like I used blush.”
    “Time out!” Randy shouted, making a T with his hands.
    I may have to buy Randy a whistle, Lauren thought. He thinks he runs this show. The man is sadly mistaken.
    “This show isn’t about you and Chazz Jackson, Lauren,” Randy said.
    Geez! Even Randy, a no-name director, knows about Chazz’s other life. “I know that, Randy,” Lauren said. “But you have to admit, two dudes is a lot more interesting than the old ‘man banging his secretary’ cliché. That is so played out.”
    “The network won’t allow that,” Randy said.
    Lauren smiled. “They won’t allow two dudes? They’ll let bee-otch, cracker, orgasm, girth, and ‘going down there’ go, but they won’t let a little realism go?”
    “You said doing, ” Randy said.
    “The original line used the word banging, ” Lauren said. “Should I have said, ‘I caught him banging two dudes on my couch’?”
    “No.” Randy shook his head and sighed heavily. “Look. This is a heterosexual show.”
    “But the actor playing my love interest is gay in real life,” Lauren said.
    “In reality, yes,” Randy said, gritting his teeth. “But not on this show. He promises to be heterosexual the entire time he’s in front of the camera. He used to be bisexual, you know.”
    “The world knows he’s gay now, Randy,” Lauren said. “People will only watch this show to see how a gay white man and a heterosexual black woman fall in love and have a relationship. If that isn’t sick and twisted, I don’t know what is.”
    “You’re telling me,” Barbie said.
    “Look,” Randy said. “This is a sitcom, not high Broadway drama.”
    “I know that,” Lauren said. “But it doesn’t have to lower itself to the least common denominator, does it? Barbie and I are real folks talking, that’s all. This is how real folks talk to each other. Let us finish the scene, okay? I guarantee you’ll like it.”
    “I already don’t,” Randy said.
    “Because you haven’t heard the entire scene yet,” Lauren said. “What’s my next line?”
    “Something about breaking teeth and cutting,” Barbie said.
    “We’re cutting the parts about breaking and cutting,” Lauren said. “I don’t break teeth. Say your next line.”
    Barbie glanced at the cue cards. “I can’t say that line. White men are good in bed, at least the ones I’ve been with. They do have rhythm, and they knew how to make my booty happy.”
    Lauren smiled. “You rearranged those lines well.”
    “Thank you,” Barbie said.
    “Stop! Just stop!” Randy shouted. “You two are missing the point of the show. Lauren’s character is supposed to