Read Online Let's Stay Together by J.J. Murray - Free Book Online Page A

discover all this about white men during this show. That’s what makes it funny. She has to be clueless about white men in the beginning. She learns more and more about white men as the show progresses.”
    “And while the show regresses race relations in America,” Lauren said. “I will not play an idiot, Randy, and that’s what this script makes me into. This script is pathetic. Barbie is ‘a regular Starbucks’? My ex’s secretary is a ‘milky white heifer’? ‘Joe Bob’s hair smelled like mildew and Grandma’s draws’? ‘At least they can always get you a cab in this city’? ‘Light-skinned chocolate baby with good hair and a trust fund’?”
    “ ‘Who can dance real good about half the time,’ ” Barbie added.
    “How are any of those lines funny, Randy?” Lauren asked.
    “You’re taking those lines out of context,” Randy said. “In context, they are all funny.”
    “In context,” Lauren said, “they are all offensive.”
    “Our test audience thought they were hilarious,” Randy said. “They fell on the floor, laughing.”
    “Was there an earthquake at the time?” Lauren asked.
    “No,” Randy said. “They thought it was funny.”
    “You subjected a test audience to this?” Lauren asked. “Really? Are they currently in therapy?”
    “No,” Randy said. “I read all the parts to them, and they left laughing.”
    “Who was in your test audience?” Lauren asked. “Drunk and high people who will laugh at anything?”
    “It doesn’t matter,” Randy said. “They loved this scene. They were dying laughing.”
    “Are you sure they weren’t crying out in pain?” Lauren asked. “Sometimes people in severe pain sound as if they’re laughing.”
    “There is nothing wrong with this script,” Randy said. “Nothing.”
    “There is nothing right with this script,” Lauren said. “Overall, it’s racist, Randy, and saying that white men hang out in grocery stores, bowling alleys, and golf courses is simply wrong. Men of all races hang out everywhere, yet you want my character to go to a flea market in Hell’s Kitchen to find a man. A friend of mine tells me Hell’s Kitchen isn’t a pleasant place to be, much less to shop.” I’m glad that Patrick is my friend. “To be perfectly black about it, Randy, that scene ain’t happenin.’ Where’s the writer? I know I could talk some sense into the writer.”
    “The writer wishes to remain anonymous,” Randy said.
    “I can see why,” Barbie said.
    “You beat me to it,” Lauren said. I am beginning to like Barbie very much. “Well, who is she—or he?”
    “ She is from LA,” Randy said, “and she has been in many interracial relationships.”
    “I can see why,” Barbie said again.
    “You beat me to it again,” Lauren said.
    “The script is based on her experiences right here in LA,” Randy said.
    “LA?” Lauren said. “But the show takes place in New York City.”
    “Her experiences are universal,” Randy said.
    “In which universe?” Lauren asked. “Her experiences are not the norm. I ought to know, right? I have dated interracially for half of my life.”
    “The writer is an expert,” Randy said. “She knows what she’s talking about. I’ve heard her speak.”
    “So she speaks in stereotypes, does she?” Lauren said. “I don’t think I want to meet her now.”
    “What stereotypes?” Randy asked.
    “Where aren’t there stereotypes?” Lauren asked. “Let’s examine this scene right here. Two sisters sitting at an outdoor café see a white man and immediately begin talking about his ‘hairy shovel with no meat’ ass. Plenty of white men have some serious back.”
    “Amen,” Barbie whispered. She waved at Mike.
    Mike waved back.
    “Then this hoochie,” Lauren said. “No offense, Barbie.”
    “None taken, Lauren,” Barbie said. “I know I’m not a hoochie.”
    “Then this hoochie says that all white men have wet skin that smells like onions,” Lauren said. “They all eat food