Read Online Let's Stay Together by J.J. Murray - Free Book Online Page B

that falls on the floor, they all wear condoms, they all like to go down on a woman, and they often like to hang out in the meat section of the grocery store. Stop me if you don’t hear a stereotype.”
    “I’m not going to argue about this with you, all right?” Randy said. “Sometimes there are stereotypes in comedy. In fact, stereotypes form the basis of most comedy. So what if there are a few stereotypes in this scene?”
    “The entire scene is based on two ridiculous stereotypes, Randy,” Lauren said. “The first is, ‘Once you’ve had black, you’ll never go back.’ It’s as dumb as ‘Once you’ve had white, you’ll never be right.’ These sayings are foolish rhymes made up by foolish people who think they can fool the world into believing their foolishness. These are false statements. Folks are folks, man. There are no gray areas about this. We’re not airing this show in the fifties. The world has moved on, and the writer needs to move on with it. How old is she?”
    “That’s irrelevant,” Randy said.
    “She’s old,” Lauren said.
    “Yep,” Barbie said. “She probably marched with Dr. King.”
    “Or Marcus Garvey,” Lauren said.
    “Or Frederick Douglass,” Barbie added with a giggle.
    “I still don’t see what’s so stereotypical,” Randy said. “Isn’t there some truth to it?”
    “No,” Lauren said. “And there’s nothing true about ‘The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice,’ either.”
    “Well, in my case,” Barbie said, “that is true. I am very sweet.”
    “I’m sure you are, Barbie, but that’s only in her case, Randy,” Lauren said. “I can name black women out there whose juices are not and may never have been sweet.” Including my mama.
    “If they’re even juicy anymore,” Barbie said.
    “The writer is black, Lauren,” Randy said.
    “That doesn’t absolve her from being a fool,” Lauren said.
    “Or from being ignorant,” Barbie added.
    “That, too,” Lauren said.
    “She’s not a fool,” Randy said. “This is a good script.”
    I’m tired of arguing with him. “May I make a suggestion?”
    “That’s all you’re making today, Lauren,” Randy said.
    “Film us going through the first scene the way we’ve been doing it,” Lauren said, “and not only show the execs what we end up with, but show the writer as well. Maybe she’ll wise up and start writing a show for the twenty-first century for a change.”
    Randy walked away, shaking his head and parting several sound technicians, until he disappeared from view.
    “He’s pissed,” Barbie whispered.
    “Yep,” Lauren said. “But so what? He has to know he has a lame script on his hands, and no amount of camping it up is going to save it.”
    “What do we do?” Barbie asked.
    “We wait,” Lauren said. “We’re still on the clock, right?”
    “Right,” Barbie said. She pulled out a cell phone and began playing a game. “This is so addictive.”
    Lauren took out her own phone to get online to check her e-mail. No signal! She tried to find a Wi-Fi hotspot and couldn’t. Tumbleweed is so cheap. This will, however, keep actors from doing exactly what I’m trying to do when they should be working.
    A few minutes later Randy returned with an elderly light-skinned black woman who wore a frumpy yellow fisherman’s hat, blue rayon slacks, and a bright orange sweater.
    What shipwreck did they pull her from? Lauren wondered. She could have been on Gilligan’s Island! Does she own a mirror? Did wardrobe do this to her?
    “This is Annie Smith,” Randy said, “And she is the writer. Lauren, go ahead. Tell her what you told me.”
    Lauren shrugged, and for the next fifteen minutes, she raked the woman’s script over the coals, reiterating the falseness of her stereotypes and giving examples of “rearranged” lines.
    “If we tone down everything that’s currently way over the top,” Lauren concluded, “we can make this into a decent show we can all be proud of.”
    The