cereal killer. Q: Why did the baseball player go to jail? A: He stole second base. Q: Why couldn’t the twelve-year-old go to the pirate movie? A: It was rated arrrgh. Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel about discovering electricity? A: He was shocked. Q: What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? A: Nacho cheese. Q: How much did the butcher charge for his venison? A: A buck. Q: What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes? A: Thunderwear. Q: How did Thomas Edison invent the lightbulb? A: He got a bright idea. Q: Why did the lettuce win the race? A: He was a head. Q: Where did the most talkative people in the Bible live? A: Babylon (babble on). Q: Why was the broom late for school? A: It over-swept. Q: What did the alien say to the flower bed? A: “Take me to your weeder.” Q: What kind of button won’t you find at a sewing store? A: A belly button. Q: Why did the lady throw her butter out the window? A: She wanted to see a butterfly. Q: Why did the ninja go to the doctor? A: He had kung-flu. Q: What did the grape do when the lemon asked for a kiss? A: It puckered up. Q: Why couldn’t the monster go to sleep? A: It was afraid there were kids under the bed. Q: How long does it take to count four times infinity? A: Four-ever. Q: Who fills your tank at the gas station? A: Philip (fill up). Q: What is an alien’s favorite kind of candy? A: A Mars bar. Q: How do you get a skeleton to laugh out loud? A: Tickle its funny bone. Q: What do you take before every meal? A: You take a seat. Q: What did the mother corn say to her children? A: “Don’t forget to wash behind your ears.” Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor? A: It was just a stage he was going through. Q: What did the tomato say to the mushroom? A: “You look like a fungi.” Q: Why are babies so good at basketball? A: Because they like to dribble. Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with a “t.” Student: Today and tomorrow. Teacher: Billy, you missed school yesterday. Billy: Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t miss it that much at all. Fred: Today the teacher was yelling at me for something I didn’t do. Mike: What was that? Fred: My homework. Q: Why did the cookie complain about feeling sick? A: He was feeling crummy. Q: Why is spaghetti the smartest food there is? A: It always uses its noodle. Q: What do you call a student who never turns in his math homework on time? A: A calcu-later. Q: How did the karate teacher greet his students? A: “Hi-Yah!” Q: Why did the bed wear a disguise? A: It was undercover. Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A: A stick. Q: When do pine trees like to do embroidery? A: When they do needlepoint. Q: What is a baby’s motto? A: If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again. Q: Where do you keep your jokes? A: In a giggle box. Q: Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate? A: She was on a crash diet. Q: Why did the hot dog turn down the chance to star in a movie? A: None of the roles (rolls) were good enough. Josh: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Anna: What about it? Josh: It has great food but no atmosphere. Q: What do you call a fairy that doesn’t take a bath? A: Stinkerbell. Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: “Do you want to go out tonight?” Q: What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable? A: A leek. Q: How did the French fry propose to the hamburger? A: He gave her an onion ring. Q: What has four legs and one head but only one foot? A: A bed. Q: What do potatoes wear to bed? A: Yammies. Q: What fruit teases people a lot? A: A bana na na na na na! Q: Why was the metal wire so upset? A: It was getting all bent out of shape over nothing. Q: What do you call the story of the three little pigs? A: A pigtail. Q: What did the peanut butter say to the bread? A: “Quit loafing around.” Q: What did the bread say back to the