Read Online Jackie's Jokes by Lauren Baratz-Logsted - Free Book Online
Authors: Lauren Baratz-Logsted
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Jackie go!" Durinda cried.
"Except we can't really see her anymore, can we?" Rebecca said sourly.
"Why, I'll bet Jackie's faster than a speeding bullet now!" Zinnia said with a happy sigh.
"Too bad she's not more powerful than a locomotive," Georgia said.
"I wonder if she can leap tall buildings in a single bound?" Marcia wondered.
When they returned to us a few minutes later, Jackie declared that it had been a tie. As for Jaguar, if it hadn't been a tie, the cat wasn't saying.
"I always knew," Rebecca said darkly, "when Jackie cut her hair and then her cat's, it would lead to ... something. "
***
Back inside, we still didn't get to enjoy our juice boxes.
"Mr. Pete," Jackie said, "I was wondering if you'd be willing to look at something for us, give us your expert opinion..."
Seven of us were shocked when Jackie led Pete to Mommy's private study. After years of keeping away from that room, we still found it hard for any one of us to go in, and we'd never invited an adult, although we'd tricked the Wicket into reading a fake file in there.
We all watched as Jackie, with her new confidence, turned on the computer, typed in the password— 88888888 —and located the file marked Persons of Interest.
And suddenly, there was that odd trio of pictures again: the Wicket, Crazy Serena, and Principal Freud, also known as Frank Freud.
"Okay," Pete said, "now I recognize the one in the middle. That's the one who held you lot hostage back in March, the one I had to run out of town for you."
"Yes, that's Crazy Serena," Annie said.
"We think she might be somehow related to Mommy," Durinda said.
"Even if she might be a relative, we are very scared of her," Petal said.
"I can't say as I blame you," Pete said. "Crazy Serena might look great in a turquoise dress, but that is one scary crazy lady." Pete studied the screen some more. "And I recognize the one with the egg for a head. Er, I mean, the bald guy. That's your principal, Principal Freud, right?"
Eight heads nodded. Of course, Pete was studying the screen right then, rather than looking at us, so it probably didn't matter what we did with our heads!
"Yes," Zinnia piped up. "He runs the Whistle Stop. We like going to school there and hope we never have to stop."
"Not ever? "Georgia said.
"Not even when you're ninety? "Rebecca said. "You still want to be wearing yellow plaid then? "
It occurred to us that Zinnia was probably the only one of us who liked wearing that wretched uniform.
"Now who's this third person?" Pete said, interrupting our thoughts. "She looks like a toadstool."
Pete had never met the Wicket. Perhaps she took her vehicles somewhere else to be serviced? Oh, that's right: she always took taxis. So we explained all about her being the first evil person we'd encountered and had to deal with after Mommy and Daddy had disappeared.
"Or died," Rebecca added.
It used to scare us whenever Rebecca said that, but now we'd come to find it peculiarly comforting. At least one thing in the world hadn't changed and was still reliable: Rebecca's sourness.
"She really does look like a toadstool in person," Marcia said.
"Oh yes," Petal said fearfully, "a poison toadstool. I suspect that if someone tried to eat her, they would die."
"We don't eat other people around here," Annie said, for once disgusted with Petal.
"Maybe if I were really hungry, and there was no other food in the house—" Rebecca started to say, but Jackie cut her off.
"Here's the thing," Jackie said. "No matter how much I think about it, I can't figure out why Mommy would have a picture of Principal Freud in the same file with those other two."
"I can," Marcia said.
All eyes turned toward her.
"I've been giving it a lot of thought," Marcia said, "and the way I figure it, this is just like when they have us do Which Item Is Not Like the Others? at school."
"I'm afraid I don't follow," Pete said. "It's been a long time since I was at school. Could you explain?"
"It's this thing they have
"Except we can't really see her anymore, can we?" Rebecca said sourly.
"Why, I'll bet Jackie's faster than a speeding bullet now!" Zinnia said with a happy sigh.
"Too bad she's not more powerful than a locomotive," Georgia said.
"I wonder if she can leap tall buildings in a single bound?" Marcia wondered.
When they returned to us a few minutes later, Jackie declared that it had been a tie. As for Jaguar, if it hadn't been a tie, the cat wasn't saying.
"I always knew," Rebecca said darkly, "when Jackie cut her hair and then her cat's, it would lead to ... something. "
***
Back inside, we still didn't get to enjoy our juice boxes.
"Mr. Pete," Jackie said, "I was wondering if you'd be willing to look at something for us, give us your expert opinion..."
Seven of us were shocked when Jackie led Pete to Mommy's private study. After years of keeping away from that room, we still found it hard for any one of us to go in, and we'd never invited an adult, although we'd tricked the Wicket into reading a fake file in there.
We all watched as Jackie, with her new confidence, turned on the computer, typed in the password— 88888888 —and located the file marked Persons of Interest.
And suddenly, there was that odd trio of pictures again: the Wicket, Crazy Serena, and Principal Freud, also known as Frank Freud.
"Okay," Pete said, "now I recognize the one in the middle. That's the one who held you lot hostage back in March, the one I had to run out of town for you."
"Yes, that's Crazy Serena," Annie said.
"We think she might be somehow related to Mommy," Durinda said.
"Even if she might be a relative, we are very scared of her," Petal said.
"I can't say as I blame you," Pete said. "Crazy Serena might look great in a turquoise dress, but that is one scary crazy lady." Pete studied the screen some more. "And I recognize the one with the egg for a head. Er, I mean, the bald guy. That's your principal, Principal Freud, right?"
Eight heads nodded. Of course, Pete was studying the screen right then, rather than looking at us, so it probably didn't matter what we did with our heads!
"Yes," Zinnia piped up. "He runs the Whistle Stop. We like going to school there and hope we never have to stop."
"Not ever? "Georgia said.
"Not even when you're ninety? "Rebecca said. "You still want to be wearing yellow plaid then? "
It occurred to us that Zinnia was probably the only one of us who liked wearing that wretched uniform.
"Now who's this third person?" Pete said, interrupting our thoughts. "She looks like a toadstool."
Pete had never met the Wicket. Perhaps she took her vehicles somewhere else to be serviced? Oh, that's right: she always took taxis. So we explained all about her being the first evil person we'd encountered and had to deal with after Mommy and Daddy had disappeared.
"Or died," Rebecca added.
It used to scare us whenever Rebecca said that, but now we'd come to find it peculiarly comforting. At least one thing in the world hadn't changed and was still reliable: Rebecca's sourness.
"She really does look like a toadstool in person," Marcia said.
"Oh yes," Petal said fearfully, "a poison toadstool. I suspect that if someone tried to eat her, they would die."
"We don't eat other people around here," Annie said, for once disgusted with Petal.
"Maybe if I were really hungry, and there was no other food in the house—" Rebecca started to say, but Jackie cut her off.
"Here's the thing," Jackie said. "No matter how much I think about it, I can't figure out why Mommy would have a picture of Principal Freud in the same file with those other two."
"I can," Marcia said.
All eyes turned toward her.
"I've been giving it a lot of thought," Marcia said, "and the way I figure it, this is just like when they have us do Which Item Is Not Like the Others? at school."
"I'm afraid I don't follow," Pete said. "It's been a long time since I was at school. Could you explain?"
"It's this thing they have
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