Read Online The Good, the Bad and the Unready by Robert Easton - Free Book Online
Authors: Robert Easton
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inaccessible cave halfwayup a cliff face, which was defended by pagan robbers who mocked their enemy on the beach far below. In order to defeat them, Sigurd stealthily hoisted a ship on to the top of the cliff, filled it with soldiers and then lowered it on ropes in front of the mouth of the cave. His men then leaped out and easily overpowered the very surprised thieves.
After a brief spell in Jerusalem where King Baldwin I gave him a splinter of the Holy Cross, Sigurd returned to Norway and ruled without opposition.
Robert the Cunning see the SONS OF TANCRED
Boleslav the Curly
Boleslav IV, prince of Poland, c.1120–73
Little is recorded of Boleslav ‘Kedzierzawy’ except that he had to pay homage to the Holy Roman Emperor Frederick BARBAROSSA . This involved sending him a regular financial tribute, furnishing him with 300 knights for his Italian campaign, and appearing at his court when, in what must have been literally a hairy moment, the curly-locked prince came face to face with the red-bearded king.
Robert Curthose
Robert II, duke of Normandy, c.1054–1134
Contemporary historians William of Malmesbury and Orderic Vitalis agree that Robert was small and rotund, and that his father, William the CONQUEROR , once derisively called him ‘Brevis ocrea’, literally ‘short-boot’, a term which developed into the nickname ‘Curthose’. Orderic Vitalis gleefully adds that Robert was also nicknamed ‘Gambaron’, which, based on the Italian word for lobster, possibly refers to the duke’s possessing some crustacean-like characteristic.
On his deathbed William expressed his conviction that, underhis son Robert, Normandy would be wretchedly governed… and wretchedly governed it was. As a ruler Robert proved magnificently inept, following the line of least resistance and allowing barons to do as they pleased. Captured by his brother Henry BEAUCLERC (see NOBLE PROFESSIONS ) in 1106, Robert spent nearly thirty years of his life a prisoner in various castles in England and Wales. His last few years were in Cardiff Castle, where he appears to have employed his considerable free time in learning Welsh, since a pathetic little poem in that language is attributed to his authorship. The line ‘Woe to him that is not old enough to die’ is a miserable reflection on the life of a man better known for the size of his footwear than the size of his character.
Henry Curtmantle
Henry II, king of England, 1133–89
The extravagances of courtly dress held no charms for Henry, and one of the first innovations he made when king was to introduce the utilitarian knee-length cloak – the ‘curt mantle’ –of Anjou, as opposed to the ankle-length variety of his predecessors. Troubadours and tournaments he found dreary, preferring instead simpler entertainments such as those provided by a jester called ‘Roland the Farter’ to whom Henry gave thirty acres in Suffolk, for which, records state, ‘he used to leap, whistle and fart before the king.’
Walter Map, one of Henry’s courtiers, described him as ‘resplendent with many virtues’ but also ‘darkened by some vices’. When annoyed by one of his court attendants, for instance, the furious king ‘threw the cap from his head, untied his belt, hurled his mantle and other garments from him, removed the silk coverlet from the bed with his own hand and began to chew the straw of the bedding’.
Walter Map was in fact one of a paltry few who could find any good qualities in a king who otherwise garnered nothing but contempt: it seems that the weather-beaten, bow-legged, barrel-chested huntsman of a king had an innate ability to offend. According to the chronicler William FitzStephen, Henry oncetook immense delight in forcing his chancellor to hand over his magnificent, brand-new grey and red cape to a pauper who just happened be passing. Certainly Henry was not on the Christmas-card list of St Bernard of Clairvaux, who is reported as saying, ‘From the Devil he came and
After a brief spell in Jerusalem where King Baldwin I gave him a splinter of the Holy Cross, Sigurd returned to Norway and ruled without opposition.
Robert the Cunning see the SONS OF TANCRED
Boleslav the Curly
Boleslav IV, prince of Poland, c.1120–73
Little is recorded of Boleslav ‘Kedzierzawy’ except that he had to pay homage to the Holy Roman Emperor Frederick BARBAROSSA . This involved sending him a regular financial tribute, furnishing him with 300 knights for his Italian campaign, and appearing at his court when, in what must have been literally a hairy moment, the curly-locked prince came face to face with the red-bearded king.
Robert Curthose
Robert II, duke of Normandy, c.1054–1134
Contemporary historians William of Malmesbury and Orderic Vitalis agree that Robert was small and rotund, and that his father, William the CONQUEROR , once derisively called him ‘Brevis ocrea’, literally ‘short-boot’, a term which developed into the nickname ‘Curthose’. Orderic Vitalis gleefully adds that Robert was also nicknamed ‘Gambaron’, which, based on the Italian word for lobster, possibly refers to the duke’s possessing some crustacean-like characteristic.
On his deathbed William expressed his conviction that, underhis son Robert, Normandy would be wretchedly governed… and wretchedly governed it was. As a ruler Robert proved magnificently inept, following the line of least resistance and allowing barons to do as they pleased. Captured by his brother Henry BEAUCLERC (see NOBLE PROFESSIONS ) in 1106, Robert spent nearly thirty years of his life a prisoner in various castles in England and Wales. His last few years were in Cardiff Castle, where he appears to have employed his considerable free time in learning Welsh, since a pathetic little poem in that language is attributed to his authorship. The line ‘Woe to him that is not old enough to die’ is a miserable reflection on the life of a man better known for the size of his footwear than the size of his character.
Henry Curtmantle
Henry II, king of England, 1133–89
The extravagances of courtly dress held no charms for Henry, and one of the first innovations he made when king was to introduce the utilitarian knee-length cloak – the ‘curt mantle’ –of Anjou, as opposed to the ankle-length variety of his predecessors. Troubadours and tournaments he found dreary, preferring instead simpler entertainments such as those provided by a jester called ‘Roland the Farter’ to whom Henry gave thirty acres in Suffolk, for which, records state, ‘he used to leap, whistle and fart before the king.’
Walter Map, one of Henry’s courtiers, described him as ‘resplendent with many virtues’ but also ‘darkened by some vices’. When annoyed by one of his court attendants, for instance, the furious king ‘threw the cap from his head, untied his belt, hurled his mantle and other garments from him, removed the silk coverlet from the bed with his own hand and began to chew the straw of the bedding’.
Walter Map was in fact one of a paltry few who could find any good qualities in a king who otherwise garnered nothing but contempt: it seems that the weather-beaten, bow-legged, barrel-chested huntsman of a king had an innate ability to offend. According to the chronicler William FitzStephen, Henry oncetook immense delight in forcing his chancellor to hand over his magnificent, brand-new grey and red cape to a pauper who just happened be passing. Certainly Henry was not on the Christmas-card list of St Bernard of Clairvaux, who is reported as saying, ‘From the Devil he came and
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