Read Online It's Not You It's Me by Allison Rushby - Free Book Online

with piglet-face?’
    ‘Piglet-face!’ I laugh, then cover my mouth with my hand. It’s not very nice, but he’s right. The actor does have a bit of a piglet-face. He is a bit of a Babe .
    ‘It’s his nose.’ Jasper puts one finger on the tip of his nose and pushes upwards.
    It’s highly realistic. I laugh a bit louder.
    Standing a few rows in front, Jessica gives me a dirty look and instantly I remember the Eleventh Commandment—there shalt be no rowdiness in first class. I cover my mouth with my hand again.
    ‘You really think I’d go out with him? You crazy? I do have some taste, you know. Wouldn’t go out with a guy like him.’
    ‘He had his tongue down your throat on TV one night. Or do you let just anyone do that now?’ I regret the words as soon as they come out of my mouth, as they remind me of That Night, our last night in the apartment together, but Jas doesn’t seem to notice.
    ‘That? All him. No idea he was going to do it. Amazing what you can make something seem like when you cut it down to ten seconds of footage.’
    ‘What do you mean?’ I’m confused.
    ‘What really happened—he grabbed me, mauled me as I was coming out of some club. Wasn’t expecting it. Didn’t even know he was there until after it all went down. Guess I knew he had a bit of a thing for Zamiel, but I didn’t think he’d actually pull a stunt like that. Used up a whole perfectly good bottle of Listerine that night. Think he’d just eaten Indian for dinner or something.’
    I make a face at this. ‘So you’re not going to see him?’
    ‘Cross the road not to see him.’
    I wait expectantly for further explanation about his trip, but I don’t think it’s coming. ‘Well…?’ I try, wondering if he’s being deliberately evasive.
    ‘Right. Sorry. Nothing exciting. Just a break, I guess you’d call it. Holiday.’
    I nod. Fair enough. Everyone takes holidays, don’t they? Even fallen angels.
    We both rest our heads back on our seats at the same time.
    ‘What about you?’ Jas says then. ‘How’s your mum going now? All better?’
    Silence.
    ‘She’s dead, Jas.’
    His head lifts up slowly as I turn mine. The horror is already in full force. ‘Shit. Charlie, I’m sorry. Should’ve…’
    ‘It’s OK.’ I’ve known about it for some time, after all. I just didn’t need to be reminded. Like Kath had said at the airport, ‘Don’t think about…things.’ And this was one of them. One of the doozies.
    ‘When?’
    ‘Ages ago. The January after we left the apartment.’
    ‘But that was only a few months. Thought she was just sick?’
    ‘It took us a long time to convince her to see a doctor. By then it was only a matter of weeks.’
    ‘Cancer?’
    I shake my head. ‘No, not at all. It was a blood thing. A clotting thing. Technical. Things might have been a lot better if she’d just seen someone earlier. You know what she was like. She thought waving around a few sticks of incense would do the trick.’
    Jas pauses. ‘Remember that week we spent at Byron with her?’
    I nod.
    ‘Remember how she made me try that old pottery wheel? Always thought that looked so easy, but when I tried it, it felt like my hands were being ripped over gravel. She was one tough lady. And her sculpture. That courtyard. Blew me away first time I saw it.’
    I nod again.
    Jas lifts his head up. ‘Gave you a call about that time— January. A few times before and after that too. Why didn’t you call back?’
    ‘I know. I’m sorry. It was bad of me. I was busy with Mum and then, I don’t know…’ I look away.
    ‘Don’t worry. Doesn’t matter.’
    It does matter, but I don’t know how to explain it.
    ‘Tell me what you’ve been doing since then,’ Jas says.
    I think about it. ‘It’s not very exciting compared to you.’
    ‘You’d be surprised. Everyone thinks my job’s ultra-glamorous. Isn’t at all, really.’
    I shoot him a look. Oh, sure. After all, what could be more glamorous than the life of a