Read Online How to Twist a Dragon's Tale (Hiccup) by Cressida Cowell - Free Book Online
Authors: Cressida Cowell
Tags: Juvenile Fiction, YA), Fantasy & magical realism (Children's, Children's Fiction, Science Fiction; Fantasy; & Magic
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Child, who would grow up to bring untold evil on the Archipelago. He said you had fed him to this Monstrous Strangulator that made all his hair fall out... And thrown him out of a balloon into a sea full of Ravenous Sharkworms ..."
"That was all HIS fault!" protested Hiccup, who was beginning to put two and two together.
"But as I have gotten to know you, over the last couple of weeks, I have gradually begun to think that he must be mistaken about you," said Humungous. "I tried to kill you, but I kept on saving you at the last minute. At first I thought it must just be my Heroic Impulses kicking in, but then I realized -- I like you, Hiccup."
"Thank you," said Hiccup.
"And I'm not angry with you about what happened. I'm not even angry with her ... well, maybe just a little bit..." admitted Humungous, "and why she had to marry that barbarian, Stoick, I will never know..."
"That's my father you're talking about!" warned Hiccup, "and he has many excellent qualities, once you get to know him."
"Well, I hate to let good old Al down," said Humungous, "but you seem to me like a Good Egg,
125
and I think that Al has just got off on the wrong foot with you."
"What does he LOOK like, this Terrific Al of yours?" asked Hiccup, already sure that he knew the answer.
"Fifteen years ago when I first met him he was extremely handsome," replied Humungous. "Tall, dark, took very good care of his moustache even in jail conditions. And he had all of his LIMBS at the time, which does help. Now... he's not so pretty. Bald, put a bit of weight on, a hook instead of a hand, a stump instead of a leg, a patch instead of an eye --"
"ALVIN THE TREACHEROUS, AS I LIVE AND BREATHE!" interrupted Hiccup. "You gave your ruby heart's stone to ALVIN THE TREACHEROUS!!!"
Alvin the Treacherous was Hiccup's arch-enemy, and the wickedest, most dangerous man in the Archipelago. Hiccup had assumed he was dead when he fell into the sea with those Sharkworms, but Alvin was a difficult man to kill.
This meant that Valhallarama was not the traitor that Humungous thought her. Alvin would NEVER have delivered that ruby heart's stone. He would have pocketed it himself, and then made up all those wicked
126
lies that he told Humungous about her throwing it into the ocean.
"Alvin the Who?" asked Humungous blankly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Alvin the Treacherous is the evilest man in the Archipelago," said Hiccup.
"Now, then, that's not fair. Al has got you wrong, Hiccup, but you must admit, who can blame him, what with the Sharkworm incident and everything," said Humungous. "I just know if you guys could get together you would really get along."
Hiccup sat thinking, wondering what he should do next.
"Now I understand why Old Wrinkly is sitting at the bottom of that hole," said Hiccup.
"Who is Old Wrinkly?" asked Humungous.
"Old Wrinkly is Valhallarama' father," said Hiccup, "and my grandfather. He must have been the one who set you the Impossible Task of finding the Fire-Stone."
"HA!" said Humungous bitterly. "This whole mess is his fault in the first place!"
"Well, he obviously feels that too," said Hiccup. "About a month or so ago, he started talking about some DOOM coming on all of us, and how it was all his fault
127
because he had interfered with Fate. And then he said he was going to take a Vow of Silence and sit in a hole until the whole thing was over, for good or worse, so he couldn't interfere again.
"None of us took a lot of notice at the time," said Hiccup, "because Old Wrinkly can be a little eccentric, but suddenly it's all crystal clear. I'm going to go and get his advice. Which will be tricky, because he has taken a Vow of Silence, but I have to try." Hiccup woke up Toothless, put the sleepy little dragon on his shoulder, and turned to Humungous. 'Are you coming? You are still my Bardiguard."
Humungous blushed. "Are you sure you still want me to be your Bardiguard?"
"But of course," said Hiccup. "I think you are an
"That was all HIS fault!" protested Hiccup, who was beginning to put two and two together.
"But as I have gotten to know you, over the last couple of weeks, I have gradually begun to think that he must be mistaken about you," said Humungous. "I tried to kill you, but I kept on saving you at the last minute. At first I thought it must just be my Heroic Impulses kicking in, but then I realized -- I like you, Hiccup."
"Thank you," said Hiccup.
"And I'm not angry with you about what happened. I'm not even angry with her ... well, maybe just a little bit..." admitted Humungous, "and why she had to marry that barbarian, Stoick, I will never know..."
"That's my father you're talking about!" warned Hiccup, "and he has many excellent qualities, once you get to know him."
"Well, I hate to let good old Al down," said Humungous, "but you seem to me like a Good Egg,
125
and I think that Al has just got off on the wrong foot with you."
"What does he LOOK like, this Terrific Al of yours?" asked Hiccup, already sure that he knew the answer.
"Fifteen years ago when I first met him he was extremely handsome," replied Humungous. "Tall, dark, took very good care of his moustache even in jail conditions. And he had all of his LIMBS at the time, which does help. Now... he's not so pretty. Bald, put a bit of weight on, a hook instead of a hand, a stump instead of a leg, a patch instead of an eye --"
"ALVIN THE TREACHEROUS, AS I LIVE AND BREATHE!" interrupted Hiccup. "You gave your ruby heart's stone to ALVIN THE TREACHEROUS!!!"
Alvin the Treacherous was Hiccup's arch-enemy, and the wickedest, most dangerous man in the Archipelago. Hiccup had assumed he was dead when he fell into the sea with those Sharkworms, but Alvin was a difficult man to kill.
This meant that Valhallarama was not the traitor that Humungous thought her. Alvin would NEVER have delivered that ruby heart's stone. He would have pocketed it himself, and then made up all those wicked
126
lies that he told Humungous about her throwing it into the ocean.
"Alvin the Who?" asked Humungous blankly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Alvin the Treacherous is the evilest man in the Archipelago," said Hiccup.
"Now, then, that's not fair. Al has got you wrong, Hiccup, but you must admit, who can blame him, what with the Sharkworm incident and everything," said Humungous. "I just know if you guys could get together you would really get along."
Hiccup sat thinking, wondering what he should do next.
"Now I understand why Old Wrinkly is sitting at the bottom of that hole," said Hiccup.
"Who is Old Wrinkly?" asked Humungous.
"Old Wrinkly is Valhallarama' father," said Hiccup, "and my grandfather. He must have been the one who set you the Impossible Task of finding the Fire-Stone."
"HA!" said Humungous bitterly. "This whole mess is his fault in the first place!"
"Well, he obviously feels that too," said Hiccup. "About a month or so ago, he started talking about some DOOM coming on all of us, and how it was all his fault
127
because he had interfered with Fate. And then he said he was going to take a Vow of Silence and sit in a hole until the whole thing was over, for good or worse, so he couldn't interfere again.
"None of us took a lot of notice at the time," said Hiccup, "because Old Wrinkly can be a little eccentric, but suddenly it's all crystal clear. I'm going to go and get his advice. Which will be tricky, because he has taken a Vow of Silence, but I have to try." Hiccup woke up Toothless, put the sleepy little dragon on his shoulder, and turned to Humungous. 'Are you coming? You are still my Bardiguard."
Humungous blushed. "Are you sure you still want me to be your Bardiguard?"
"But of course," said Hiccup. "I think you are an
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