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Authors: Patrick E. McLean
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policy, that one is procedures."
"And you want me to read all of that nonsense?"
"Yes."
"All of those rules, Edwin? I'm supposed to read the rules?"
"Yes."
"Beanpole, I just don't think I can do this."
"You don't have to follow the rules," said Edwin.
"Unless somebody is watching."
"Correct.”
After a long pause, Topper looked at Edwin and opened his mouth, "Edwin, are you feeling okay? Seriously, do you want me to call you a doctor or something. Like a brain doctor?"
"I am feeling fine."
"Look, pal, uh, God, where do I start? Take Jerry, for example. Your Adjustor guy."
"Ah, yes, Jerry. I'm afraid he's not going to work out." Hearing Edwin's cold, hollow words, Topper shuddered at an image of Jerry's son, orphaned and crying by a grave. Then he shook it off, remembering who he was dealing with. Edwin didn't kill people unless he had a very good reason to. And if he was going to kill Jerry, well, he wouldn't leave loose ends. He'd take the whole family.
For the first time in his relationship with Edwin, Topper realized that he needed to be very, very careful.
"Yeah, so Jerry follows the rules, right? He tries real hard."
"He is enthusiastic, but he is under-qualified. He lacks talent."
By the look in Edwin's eye, Topper realized it was time to back off. "Enh, yeah. I see what you're saying. And all of that is in these big fat books?"
"That would be part of the job description. Under 'A' for Adjustor."
"Uh, E, is it okay if I just fired a security guard?"
Edwin raised an eyebrow, "Why did you fire him?"
"He was a bully. I don't like people who pick on the little guy."
"Well, that was the precise profile that HR was instructed to hire. Bullying tendencies, mildly sociopathic, easily influenced by rules and procedures."
"He was a dick."
"He was doing his job as instructed."
"Why would you hire a man like that?"
"We are talking about security, Topper," Edwin answered.
"Well, he tased me."
"Oh, my. We can't have that. What did you do to terrify him so?" asked Edwin.
"He said I was causing a disturbance."
"Were you?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Well," said Edwin, "It doesn't matter. They are rented anyway."
"Ah, okay, that makes me feel better. I tell ya what. I'll have a look at these books and we'll, uh, go from there."
"Thank you Topper. I knew you would be reasonable."
"Of course," said Topper, "After all, we're not just partners, you and I, we’re friends."
Edwin uncapped a pen and bent back to the sheet of paper in front of him. Evidently, Topper was dismissed.
"Okay. I see you're busy here," Topper said as he wrestled the gigantic binders from Edwin's desk. Heavily burdened, Topper waddled his way to the door with the policy and procedures manuals.
"And Topper?"
"Yeah?"
"Send someone back for the chair."
CHAPTER SIX
"Whattaya want?" Topper asked the darkness that lay on the other side of the bright light they had shown into his face. "He turned into a monster. It's not that complicated a story, really," Topper said to the voice on the other side of the light.
"Are you sure you weren't making that up? Using that to justify what you really wanted to do, deep down?"
"Well, ain't you just the shrink?"
"Who I am isn't important," said the voice in the darkness.
"It's certainly not important to me. But everybody likes to talk about themselves. That's why this interrogation bullshit works on strong-minded individuals like myself. But how about you, my no-see-um friend? What's important to you?"
"I'll ask the questions."
"Well then ask better questions. I mean you're doing a pretty shitty job of asking questions. You're asking all the wrong ones. You just want to know what happened next. You're not really interested in why, are you? Lemme guess, you watched a lotta TV growing up, right?"
"Which questions should I be asking?"
"How could this happen? How could you two be such good friends and then… How could things be so great and then go to shit?"
"Were you friends?"
"Nah, I guess not. I
"And you want me to read all of that nonsense?"
"Yes."
"All of those rules, Edwin? I'm supposed to read the rules?"
"Yes."
"Beanpole, I just don't think I can do this."
"You don't have to follow the rules," said Edwin.
"Unless somebody is watching."
"Correct.”
After a long pause, Topper looked at Edwin and opened his mouth, "Edwin, are you feeling okay? Seriously, do you want me to call you a doctor or something. Like a brain doctor?"
"I am feeling fine."
"Look, pal, uh, God, where do I start? Take Jerry, for example. Your Adjustor guy."
"Ah, yes, Jerry. I'm afraid he's not going to work out." Hearing Edwin's cold, hollow words, Topper shuddered at an image of Jerry's son, orphaned and crying by a grave. Then he shook it off, remembering who he was dealing with. Edwin didn't kill people unless he had a very good reason to. And if he was going to kill Jerry, well, he wouldn't leave loose ends. He'd take the whole family.
For the first time in his relationship with Edwin, Topper realized that he needed to be very, very careful.
"Yeah, so Jerry follows the rules, right? He tries real hard."
"He is enthusiastic, but he is under-qualified. He lacks talent."
By the look in Edwin's eye, Topper realized it was time to back off. "Enh, yeah. I see what you're saying. And all of that is in these big fat books?"
"That would be part of the job description. Under 'A' for Adjustor."
"Uh, E, is it okay if I just fired a security guard?"
Edwin raised an eyebrow, "Why did you fire him?"
"He was a bully. I don't like people who pick on the little guy."
"Well, that was the precise profile that HR was instructed to hire. Bullying tendencies, mildly sociopathic, easily influenced by rules and procedures."
"He was a dick."
"He was doing his job as instructed."
"Why would you hire a man like that?"
"We are talking about security, Topper," Edwin answered.
"Well, he tased me."
"Oh, my. We can't have that. What did you do to terrify him so?" asked Edwin.
"He said I was causing a disturbance."
"Were you?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Well," said Edwin, "It doesn't matter. They are rented anyway."
"Ah, okay, that makes me feel better. I tell ya what. I'll have a look at these books and we'll, uh, go from there."
"Thank you Topper. I knew you would be reasonable."
"Of course," said Topper, "After all, we're not just partners, you and I, we’re friends."
Edwin uncapped a pen and bent back to the sheet of paper in front of him. Evidently, Topper was dismissed.
"Okay. I see you're busy here," Topper said as he wrestled the gigantic binders from Edwin's desk. Heavily burdened, Topper waddled his way to the door with the policy and procedures manuals.
"And Topper?"
"Yeah?"
"Send someone back for the chair."
CHAPTER SIX
"Whattaya want?" Topper asked the darkness that lay on the other side of the bright light they had shown into his face. "He turned into a monster. It's not that complicated a story, really," Topper said to the voice on the other side of the light.
"Are you sure you weren't making that up? Using that to justify what you really wanted to do, deep down?"
"Well, ain't you just the shrink?"
"Who I am isn't important," said the voice in the darkness.
"It's certainly not important to me. But everybody likes to talk about themselves. That's why this interrogation bullshit works on strong-minded individuals like myself. But how about you, my no-see-um friend? What's important to you?"
"I'll ask the questions."
"Well then ask better questions. I mean you're doing a pretty shitty job of asking questions. You're asking all the wrong ones. You just want to know what happened next. You're not really interested in why, are you? Lemme guess, you watched a lotta TV growing up, right?"
"Which questions should I be asking?"
"How could this happen? How could you two be such good friends and then… How could things be so great and then go to shit?"
"Were you friends?"
"Nah, I guess not. I
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