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Book: Hold Me Close (Devil's Chariots Motorcycle Club Book 1) by Miranda Banks
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Authors: Miranda Banks
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conversation on the way to the clubhouse.
“It's not a date,” Beth answered as she opened the door. “Not a date at all. No worries.” And she got out and walked towards the house with a fake smile and a broken heart.
CHAPTER TEN
Liza had to go. He couldn't look at her after he'd seen Beth looking as sexy as she had. Liza wasn't nearly as sexy. There was nothing about her that appealed to him any longer. He didn't want to take her home. He wanted to go to Beth. He wanted to sit with her and watch movies. He wanted to tell her it was a date. He wanted to kiss her.
But he couldn't. It was against the rules. The honor. The loyalty. If he did any of those things, the guys would be after him. Losing his brothers would be the least of his worries.
The only thing he could definitely do was get rid of this trash on his lap.
“Time to go.” He pushed her off.
“What?”
She was definitely forward. He used to like that. But now he didn't find it attractive. In fact, he thought it was slightly repulsive. What had happened to the game? The chase? The trying to get what you wanted?
Club girls made too easy. They'd started offering before a man even needed to ask. But that's what they were for. For all of them. One at a time.
“I've got a lot to do.” And with that he rolled over and watched her get up, dumbfounded. No doubt she'd head back to the clubhouse and find someone else to take her home.
***
She couldn't sleep. The thoughts of what was happening and had already happened raced through her mind. She wanted nothing more than to ask him. Did he care? Was he after something more? Why had he chosen Liza?
She could still feel his breath against her skin, his arms around her waist. She could feel the heartbeat against hers. The beach. The bike. The look on his face as Adam held her.
Suddenly she realized what had bypassed her brain earlier. She hadn't thought of Dan. In those moments when Johnny held her, she had not thought about her husband. Late husband. The man she'd vowed to love forever. He hadn't crossed her mind.
That thought caused her to get out of bed. She needed a drink to calm herself. Did this mean that she was betraying him? Was it a sign that she was wrong? That she was forgetting the man she'd adored?
There was a piece of her deep inside that believed maybe it was a sign that this was okay. But she was afraid of it all. Terrified of her own feelings.
She made her drink a double. It was going to be a long night.
***
Johnny was restless. Partly because he felt guilty. Partly because he wasn't where he most wanted to be. God damn urges and desires were going to kill him.
As he lied in bed, he thought back over the time he'd been in the same goddamn place in life. He didn’t want to be there long, but somehow he stayed. And stayed. And in that time he'd not even had a decent piece of ass. Twice he'd tried it and both times he'd ended up at her door.
No wonder he felt so out of control. It was no surprise that the smell of her floral perfume sent him over the edge. He couldn't be blamed for the physical reaction he had when her body was so damn close. Of course he wanted to kiss her. He was frustrated.
The old Johnny would have jumped out of bed and found some hot little club girl to satisfy him. But he wasn't the old Johnny anymore. And he knew better. He'd end up hating her and himself.
What he wanted was to get up, go to Beth, and tell her he wanted her. But he couldn't. He'd hurt her worse than Dan ever did. And he'd betray his best friend who was no longer there. And he'd have to deal with the consequences of breaking the faith of his brothers.
What a fucking life to live! He thought it over and decided he'd tell her once they went out. It was time to head out. Get back to life. Get away from this mess that he didn't really want to leave. Get back to his jobs.
***
The house felt
“It's not a date,” Beth answered as she opened the door. “Not a date at all. No worries.” And she got out and walked towards the house with a fake smile and a broken heart.
CHAPTER TEN
Liza had to go. He couldn't look at her after he'd seen Beth looking as sexy as she had. Liza wasn't nearly as sexy. There was nothing about her that appealed to him any longer. He didn't want to take her home. He wanted to go to Beth. He wanted to sit with her and watch movies. He wanted to tell her it was a date. He wanted to kiss her.
But he couldn't. It was against the rules. The honor. The loyalty. If he did any of those things, the guys would be after him. Losing his brothers would be the least of his worries.
The only thing he could definitely do was get rid of this trash on his lap.
“Time to go.” He pushed her off.
“What?”
She was definitely forward. He used to like that. But now he didn't find it attractive. In fact, he thought it was slightly repulsive. What had happened to the game? The chase? The trying to get what you wanted?
Club girls made too easy. They'd started offering before a man even needed to ask. But that's what they were for. For all of them. One at a time.
“I've got a lot to do.” And with that he rolled over and watched her get up, dumbfounded. No doubt she'd head back to the clubhouse and find someone else to take her home.
***
She couldn't sleep. The thoughts of what was happening and had already happened raced through her mind. She wanted nothing more than to ask him. Did he care? Was he after something more? Why had he chosen Liza?
She could still feel his breath against her skin, his arms around her waist. She could feel the heartbeat against hers. The beach. The bike. The look on his face as Adam held her.
Suddenly she realized what had bypassed her brain earlier. She hadn't thought of Dan. In those moments when Johnny held her, she had not thought about her husband. Late husband. The man she'd vowed to love forever. He hadn't crossed her mind.
That thought caused her to get out of bed. She needed a drink to calm herself. Did this mean that she was betraying him? Was it a sign that she was wrong? That she was forgetting the man she'd adored?
There was a piece of her deep inside that believed maybe it was a sign that this was okay. But she was afraid of it all. Terrified of her own feelings.
She made her drink a double. It was going to be a long night.
***
Johnny was restless. Partly because he felt guilty. Partly because he wasn't where he most wanted to be. God damn urges and desires were going to kill him.
As he lied in bed, he thought back over the time he'd been in the same goddamn place in life. He didn’t want to be there long, but somehow he stayed. And stayed. And in that time he'd not even had a decent piece of ass. Twice he'd tried it and both times he'd ended up at her door.
No wonder he felt so out of control. It was no surprise that the smell of her floral perfume sent him over the edge. He couldn't be blamed for the physical reaction he had when her body was so damn close. Of course he wanted to kiss her. He was frustrated.
The old Johnny would have jumped out of bed and found some hot little club girl to satisfy him. But he wasn't the old Johnny anymore. And he knew better. He'd end up hating her and himself.
What he wanted was to get up, go to Beth, and tell her he wanted her. But he couldn't. He'd hurt her worse than Dan ever did. And he'd betray his best friend who was no longer there. And he'd have to deal with the consequences of breaking the faith of his brothers.
What a fucking life to live! He thought it over and decided he'd tell her once they went out. It was time to head out. Get back to life. Get away from this mess that he didn't really want to leave. Get back to his jobs.
***
The house felt
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