Read Online Himiko: Warrior by CB Conwy - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: CB Conwy
Tags: gay fantasy
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can't tell anyone! Pietr's mental voice was pure desperation.
And me? They would kill me, too? Matt didn't even get scared; he couldn't believe it.
Oh, believe it. Pietr's inner voice became bitter as well as desperate. He'll get rid of anyone who doesn't agree with the way things are done here.
Who? Instead of the vague "they" from before, Pietr was talking about someone specific here. Matt couldn't tell who it was, though; he had come to realize that some things were hidden so deeply in Pietr's mind that even Matt couldn't get to them.
Pietr stepped close, grabbing Matt's arms and holding on hard. Matt winced as the grip jarred his shoulder, but Pietr didn't let him go. I'm not telling you.
Matt was about to protest, but Pietr wouldn't let him talk.
It's for your own safety. The risk is smaller if you don't know.
Matt could tell that Pietr was sincere. It still bothered him. But why? And how can you even do that? They had been so close for so long that it boggled Matt to learn that Pietr had been keeping a secret from him for all this time.
You kind of hide it from yourself, too. And I did it to keep you safe.
That's why I never found out what you do?
Pietr nodded. Yes. It was safer that way. And his mate was willing to do anything to keep him safe.
Matt felt as if his entire life had been turned upside down in the last couple of days.
Again, you mean. There was a slight attempt at humor in Pietr's inner voice.
Matt huffed. Yeah, again. You have a habit of that. He leaned close, and he could feel the incredulity in Pietr's mind as he did so. Matt was a little surprised, too. He had just obeyed his body's desperate need to be close to its mate. Then he felt how Pietr's mind was filled with gratitude, and Pietr hugged him so tightly that he lost his breath.
Hey, don't try to kill me, stupid!
Pietr reluctantly loosened his grip. Again, you mean. A rueful laughter went through his mind.
Hey, you haven't succeeded yet. Matt pushed as close as possible. Neither have I, come to think of it, even if I tried really hard a couple of times.
Are you trying to say that we're equally big fuck-ups?
It was such a brave attempt at getting back to normal that Matt could only hold on tightly. Well, you can't say that this has been boring.
Pietr held on to Matt without answering. Matt could feel him trying not to ask what was going to happen now. The fear of the answer was clear in his mind.
I don't know, Pietr. I've no idea what's going to happen. The one thing I do know is that you didn't do this voluntarily.
Fuck, no. Pietr's inner voice was vehement. I'd do anything to be able to change what I did. But I wasn't strong enough, and at least I had some sort of control this way. It could have been worse. A lot worse.
Matt shuddered. He didn't want to know what could have been worse than what the Himika had already done.
No, you really don't. Pietr hugged him again. Matt was about to ask him something else when Pietr led him to the couch.
You need to rest, Matt.
Matt was about to protest, but he did feel exhausted, and his head was pounding.
You need to take it easy. You still have a concussion, and the last couple of days haven't been good for you. Pietr felt guilty about that, too.
Matt reached out for him when he went to make dinner. We'll figure this out, Pietr. I'm not going anywhere. The words took Matt by surprise as well; he was still hurt, but he knew he couldn't let Pietr go.
The relief in Pietr's mind was immense. Okay. Rest, then I'll get you something to eat.
Matt nodded. That he could do.
***
They spent the rest of the evening mostly in silence, Pietr taking care of Matt and being close to him. It felt good, and Matt's headache cleared up a bit now that he didn't have so much to worry about.
Matt had to know more, though. Next morning, he sat Pietr down on the couch after breakfast. He had a lot of questions.
You were in charge of the recruiting after the invasion? Matt still didn't know how
And me? They would kill me, too? Matt didn't even get scared; he couldn't believe it.
Oh, believe it. Pietr's inner voice became bitter as well as desperate. He'll get rid of anyone who doesn't agree with the way things are done here.
Who? Instead of the vague "they" from before, Pietr was talking about someone specific here. Matt couldn't tell who it was, though; he had come to realize that some things were hidden so deeply in Pietr's mind that even Matt couldn't get to them.
Pietr stepped close, grabbing Matt's arms and holding on hard. Matt winced as the grip jarred his shoulder, but Pietr didn't let him go. I'm not telling you.
Matt was about to protest, but Pietr wouldn't let him talk.
It's for your own safety. The risk is smaller if you don't know.
Matt could tell that Pietr was sincere. It still bothered him. But why? And how can you even do that? They had been so close for so long that it boggled Matt to learn that Pietr had been keeping a secret from him for all this time.
You kind of hide it from yourself, too. And I did it to keep you safe.
That's why I never found out what you do?
Pietr nodded. Yes. It was safer that way. And his mate was willing to do anything to keep him safe.
Matt felt as if his entire life had been turned upside down in the last couple of days.
Again, you mean. There was a slight attempt at humor in Pietr's inner voice.
Matt huffed. Yeah, again. You have a habit of that. He leaned close, and he could feel the incredulity in Pietr's mind as he did so. Matt was a little surprised, too. He had just obeyed his body's desperate need to be close to its mate. Then he felt how Pietr's mind was filled with gratitude, and Pietr hugged him so tightly that he lost his breath.
Hey, don't try to kill me, stupid!
Pietr reluctantly loosened his grip. Again, you mean. A rueful laughter went through his mind.
Hey, you haven't succeeded yet. Matt pushed as close as possible. Neither have I, come to think of it, even if I tried really hard a couple of times.
Are you trying to say that we're equally big fuck-ups?
It was such a brave attempt at getting back to normal that Matt could only hold on tightly. Well, you can't say that this has been boring.
Pietr held on to Matt without answering. Matt could feel him trying not to ask what was going to happen now. The fear of the answer was clear in his mind.
I don't know, Pietr. I've no idea what's going to happen. The one thing I do know is that you didn't do this voluntarily.
Fuck, no. Pietr's inner voice was vehement. I'd do anything to be able to change what I did. But I wasn't strong enough, and at least I had some sort of control this way. It could have been worse. A lot worse.
Matt shuddered. He didn't want to know what could have been worse than what the Himika had already done.
No, you really don't. Pietr hugged him again. Matt was about to ask him something else when Pietr led him to the couch.
You need to rest, Matt.
Matt was about to protest, but he did feel exhausted, and his head was pounding.
You need to take it easy. You still have a concussion, and the last couple of days haven't been good for you. Pietr felt guilty about that, too.
Matt reached out for him when he went to make dinner. We'll figure this out, Pietr. I'm not going anywhere. The words took Matt by surprise as well; he was still hurt, but he knew he couldn't let Pietr go.
The relief in Pietr's mind was immense. Okay. Rest, then I'll get you something to eat.
Matt nodded. That he could do.
***
They spent the rest of the evening mostly in silence, Pietr taking care of Matt and being close to him. It felt good, and Matt's headache cleared up a bit now that he didn't have so much to worry about.
Matt had to know more, though. Next morning, he sat Pietr down on the couch after breakfast. He had a lot of questions.
You were in charge of the recruiting after the invasion? Matt still didn't know how
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