Read Online Himiko: Warrior by CB Conwy - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: CB Conwy
Tags: gay fantasy
Ads: Link
next. Pietr would wake up in a moment, and then Matt would have to talk to Pietr, facing everything his mate had done.
It didn't make matters easier that he only felt that way intellectually. Physically, the longing for his mate was ingrained in Matt's body. His mind stubbornly refused to give in to that desire yet. As a matter of fact, his mind refused to even acknowledge "yet" at all.
When Pietr woke up, it turned out to be easier than Matt had thought. Pietr didn't go near him. It almost felt as if they had reached some kind of truce. Pietr kept a polite distance; he wasn't avoiding mental contact, but he wasn't letting any feelings show, either.
Matt had always known before what his mate felt, but this time, he wasn't sure. It confused him. He could feel that Pietr hadn't pulled back completely, but it was as if some parts of his mate were missing. Pietr was caring and very attentive, focused on Matt's every need, but apart from that, the Himiko never took the initiative in either physical or mental contact.
It was a strange dance, and it wasn't even a day before Matt had tired of it. Patience had never been his strong suit, and his head was throbbing with the challenge of figuring out what was going on.
"What exactly do you think you're doing?"
Pietr looked up in surprise from where he had been pretending to read a book. He hadn't been; his eyes had been fixed on the same page while his mind had been blank. Matt had no idea why he was pretending like this.
"I... I'm giving you what you need." Pietr had been speaking out loud all day, keeping their mental contact to a minimum.
Matt's eyes narrowed. "And what do I need, according to you?"
"You need me to be near so you won't get stressed about our bond stretching too much or for too long."
"And that's all I need?"
Pietr looked confused. "I think so."
"What about an apology?"
Pietr's shoulders fell, and he looked down. "There's no way an apology can make up for what I've done." His voice was quiet.
"No, of course it can't, you idiot."
Pietr looked at him.
"But you can apologize for not telling me before."
Pietr just shook his head. "No. I couldn't tell you."
This was driving Matt insane. "You're not exactly doing anything to explain yourself."
Pietr just shook his head, a stubborn look on his face. "I can't tell you."
He looked so miserable that Matt reached out for his mate mentally, a bit hesitant. Once again, he got that strange, superficial contact. Pietr was eager to care for him, but was keeping any feelings out of the way.
"Why are you doing this?" Matt was exasperated.
Pietr looked steadily at him. "It's all you need from me. I can't spare you from my presence, but at least I can limit it to a tolerable level of contact."
"'A tolerable level of contact?'" Matt blinked.
Pietr didn't. "Yes."
Matt exploded. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
He used all of his sorrow, all of his hurt to tear Pietr's defenses down and push deep into his mate's real feelings. Pietr didn't want to allow him entrance there, but his mate was too wary of hurting him to resist much.
What he saw there stunned him. The sorrow was overwhelming, and so was the self-loathing. Pietr hadn't done what he had done without thought for the consequences. Each and every human destiny was etched into his mind, and so was the terror and the suffering of the people who had been harvested.
Don't! Pietr cried out, desperate to hide his memories from Matt. This isn't your burden to bear.
What the fuck do you mean by that? Matt was fuming with anger. How dare you hide from me! He tore deeper, relentlessly digging to see why his mate had been hiding so much from him. That was when he met the fear.
Please, don't, Matt!
But Matt had already seen it, seen how scared Pietr was about anybody finding out how he felt -- about Matt finding out how he felt -- because of what would happen then.
They would kill you? Matt had to ask; he couldn't believe what he saw in his mate's mind.
You
It didn't make matters easier that he only felt that way intellectually. Physically, the longing for his mate was ingrained in Matt's body. His mind stubbornly refused to give in to that desire yet. As a matter of fact, his mind refused to even acknowledge "yet" at all.
When Pietr woke up, it turned out to be easier than Matt had thought. Pietr didn't go near him. It almost felt as if they had reached some kind of truce. Pietr kept a polite distance; he wasn't avoiding mental contact, but he wasn't letting any feelings show, either.
Matt had always known before what his mate felt, but this time, he wasn't sure. It confused him. He could feel that Pietr hadn't pulled back completely, but it was as if some parts of his mate were missing. Pietr was caring and very attentive, focused on Matt's every need, but apart from that, the Himiko never took the initiative in either physical or mental contact.
It was a strange dance, and it wasn't even a day before Matt had tired of it. Patience had never been his strong suit, and his head was throbbing with the challenge of figuring out what was going on.
"What exactly do you think you're doing?"
Pietr looked up in surprise from where he had been pretending to read a book. He hadn't been; his eyes had been fixed on the same page while his mind had been blank. Matt had no idea why he was pretending like this.
"I... I'm giving you what you need." Pietr had been speaking out loud all day, keeping their mental contact to a minimum.
Matt's eyes narrowed. "And what do I need, according to you?"
"You need me to be near so you won't get stressed about our bond stretching too much or for too long."
"And that's all I need?"
Pietr looked confused. "I think so."
"What about an apology?"
Pietr's shoulders fell, and he looked down. "There's no way an apology can make up for what I've done." His voice was quiet.
"No, of course it can't, you idiot."
Pietr looked at him.
"But you can apologize for not telling me before."
Pietr just shook his head. "No. I couldn't tell you."
This was driving Matt insane. "You're not exactly doing anything to explain yourself."
Pietr just shook his head, a stubborn look on his face. "I can't tell you."
He looked so miserable that Matt reached out for his mate mentally, a bit hesitant. Once again, he got that strange, superficial contact. Pietr was eager to care for him, but was keeping any feelings out of the way.
"Why are you doing this?" Matt was exasperated.
Pietr looked steadily at him. "It's all you need from me. I can't spare you from my presence, but at least I can limit it to a tolerable level of contact."
"'A tolerable level of contact?'" Matt blinked.
Pietr didn't. "Yes."
Matt exploded. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
He used all of his sorrow, all of his hurt to tear Pietr's defenses down and push deep into his mate's real feelings. Pietr didn't want to allow him entrance there, but his mate was too wary of hurting him to resist much.
What he saw there stunned him. The sorrow was overwhelming, and so was the self-loathing. Pietr hadn't done what he had done without thought for the consequences. Each and every human destiny was etched into his mind, and so was the terror and the suffering of the people who had been harvested.
Don't! Pietr cried out, desperate to hide his memories from Matt. This isn't your burden to bear.
What the fuck do you mean by that? Matt was fuming with anger. How dare you hide from me! He tore deeper, relentlessly digging to see why his mate had been hiding so much from him. That was when he met the fear.
Please, don't, Matt!
But Matt had already seen it, seen how scared Pietr was about anybody finding out how he felt -- about Matt finding out how he felt -- because of what would happen then.
They would kill you? Matt had to ask; he couldn't believe what he saw in his mate's mind.
You
Similar Books
