undercover? What was it like? How did you know Derek was innocent?”
“I didn’t, at first. I kind of played him. It didn’t go well when he found out what I was really doing at his club. He started working with us, but it wasn’t until I almost died that he admitted his feelings for me.”
“You almost died?” I reached into my purse and pulled out my notepad and pen. “Wait. Start at the beginning. How did the Latin Kings start dealing at Decadence?”
She took a deep breath and launched into the story. “It all started when Derek’s father sold his sister Charlotte to the Kings. He used her as leverage to make Derek cooperate.”
She continued to talk for nearly an hour as we rode around, pausing only when I had a question. The story really was incredible. Actually, it would make a pretty good BDSM romantic suspense novel.
“So all the guys know you’re a sub now,” I said when she was finished recounting everything. “And you don’t mind being at the club with them? Isn’t it weird having them see you being submissive when you can kick some serious ass?”
“I thought it would be,” she admitted. “At first, I gave everyone a really hard time about it. I didn’t want to be seen as weak. But Derek helped me understand that accepting every part of myself makes me strong. I can trust him to take care of me when I need it, and I don’t have to be ashamed of that. And he needs to take care of someone to be fulfilled. Being a Dom isn’t about bossing me around, and being a sub isn’t about being a doormat. We rely on each other, and we’re stronger together than we ever were before.”
“That sounds like one of my books,” I said.
She smiled at me. “Then you must be getting it right. You understand what it’s really all about.” Her glance turned assessing. “But you said you’re not actually in the lifestyle. Why not? You did have a scene with Dex last night, didn’t you?”
I shifted, uncomfortable. “I identify as more of a kinkster than a sub. I like exploring sensations. I’m not interested in a power exchange.”
She nodded, accepting that. “I get it. There’s no ‘one true way’ to practice BDSM. If indulging only in sensation play is what makes you happy, more power to you. It’s nice to meet a woman who knows herself and her needs.”
I looked out the window, turning my face away so she couldn’t read my expression. Her description of her relationship with Derek made something like yearning tug at my heart. In that moment, I wasn’t at all sure that I was a woman who knew my own needs. I only knew that I didn’t want to truly submit to anyone. I couldn’t trust anyone the way Sharon so obviously trusted her Dom. My trust had been betrayed more deeply than I would have ever thought possible, and I wasn’t willing to open myself up to that kind of pain again.
“You should come back to Decadence,” she said, interrupting my brooding. “I’ll introduce you to Derek. You can ask him anything you want about the club scene. He’d be happy to help with your book research. Just don’t ask him about the Latin Kings or Charlotte. That’s still a sore spot for him.”
“That won’t be a problem,” I confirmed. “I don’t want to mix my book research and my journalistic endeavors. My two worlds are already colliding more than I’d like.”
“I used to be the same way,” she said. “It was hard letting my kinky lifestyle spill over into my everyday life. But it’s who I am, and I’ve gotten comfortable with the two coexisting.”
Before I could reiterate that I wasn’t actually in the lifestyle, Sharon’s cell phone rang.
“Silverman,” she answered in a clipped, professional tone. “Okay, I’m on my way.”
She ended the call, then took a sharp left and started weaving through traffic. “Sorry, I need to hurry up and help Clayton out,” she told me. “Our informant is giving him some trouble.”
“An informant for what?” I asked, bracing my
“I didn’t, at first. I kind of played him. It didn’t go well when he found out what I was really doing at his club. He started working with us, but it wasn’t until I almost died that he admitted his feelings for me.”
“You almost died?” I reached into my purse and pulled out my notepad and pen. “Wait. Start at the beginning. How did the Latin Kings start dealing at Decadence?”
She took a deep breath and launched into the story. “It all started when Derek’s father sold his sister Charlotte to the Kings. He used her as leverage to make Derek cooperate.”
She continued to talk for nearly an hour as we rode around, pausing only when I had a question. The story really was incredible. Actually, it would make a pretty good BDSM romantic suspense novel.
“So all the guys know you’re a sub now,” I said when she was finished recounting everything. “And you don’t mind being at the club with them? Isn’t it weird having them see you being submissive when you can kick some serious ass?”
“I thought it would be,” she admitted. “At first, I gave everyone a really hard time about it. I didn’t want to be seen as weak. But Derek helped me understand that accepting every part of myself makes me strong. I can trust him to take care of me when I need it, and I don’t have to be ashamed of that. And he needs to take care of someone to be fulfilled. Being a Dom isn’t about bossing me around, and being a sub isn’t about being a doormat. We rely on each other, and we’re stronger together than we ever were before.”
“That sounds like one of my books,” I said.
She smiled at me. “Then you must be getting it right. You understand what it’s really all about.” Her glance turned assessing. “But you said you’re not actually in the lifestyle. Why not? You did have a scene with Dex last night, didn’t you?”
I shifted, uncomfortable. “I identify as more of a kinkster than a sub. I like exploring sensations. I’m not interested in a power exchange.”
She nodded, accepting that. “I get it. There’s no ‘one true way’ to practice BDSM. If indulging only in sensation play is what makes you happy, more power to you. It’s nice to meet a woman who knows herself and her needs.”
I looked out the window, turning my face away so she couldn’t read my expression. Her description of her relationship with Derek made something like yearning tug at my heart. In that moment, I wasn’t at all sure that I was a woman who knew my own needs. I only knew that I didn’t want to truly submit to anyone. I couldn’t trust anyone the way Sharon so obviously trusted her Dom. My trust had been betrayed more deeply than I would have ever thought possible, and I wasn’t willing to open myself up to that kind of pain again.
“You should come back to Decadence,” she said, interrupting my brooding. “I’ll introduce you to Derek. You can ask him anything you want about the club scene. He’d be happy to help with your book research. Just don’t ask him about the Latin Kings or Charlotte. That’s still a sore spot for him.”
“That won’t be a problem,” I confirmed. “I don’t want to mix my book research and my journalistic endeavors. My two worlds are already colliding more than I’d like.”
“I used to be the same way,” she said. “It was hard letting my kinky lifestyle spill over into my everyday life. But it’s who I am, and I’ve gotten comfortable with the two coexisting.”
Before I could reiterate that I wasn’t actually in the lifestyle, Sharon’s cell phone rang.
“Silverman,” she answered in a clipped, professional tone. “Okay, I’m on my way.”
She ended the call, then took a sharp left and started weaving through traffic. “Sorry, I need to hurry up and help Clayton out,” she told me. “Our informant is giving him some trouble.”
“An informant for what?” I asked, bracing my
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