Read Online Heartache and Other Natural Shocks by Glenda Leznoff - Free Book Online Page B

feminist,” I say. “I believe in equal rights for women, and freedom, and sex, and all that stuff.”
    “Are you going to burn your bra?” Deb asks, smirking.
    “No! I’m not Germaine Greer,” I say. “Maybe she can go braless, but you won’t find me flopping around like some breast-feeding hippie.”
    Debbie laughs so hard that she practically snorts her milkshake. Marlene says, “Deb, remember the time we found that book under your mom’s pillow—
The Sensuous Woman
by ‘J’—and it had those chapters about masturbation and oral sex?”
    Deb grins. “Yeah, maybe Carla wants to borrow it.”
    “Fuck off,” I say, laughing. “I’m not jumping his bones yet. We haven’t even gone out on a real date.”
    “What about tomorrow night?” Mar asks.
    “I think he’s hanging out with Jim Malone.”
    Mar gawks. “On a Saturday night? What about your Saturday night rule?”
    And yeah, it’s true, I have this Saturday night rule: boyfriends have to save Saturday nights for me. “I haven’t told Ian about the Saturday night rule yet,” I explain.
    “So, call him up and ask him out,” Marlene suggests.
    “I can’t do that,” I say. “He has to call me.”
    “I thought you were a feminist,” Mar says.
    “I am!”
    “Are you afraid he’ll say no?” Debbie snickers.
    “No!” I say. I grab the phone. “Fine. I’ll call him.” I dial. I know his number by heart, even though I’ve never actually phoned before. Debbie and Marlene light cigarettes and watch me. “Quit staring,” I say. Marlene giggles.
    A man—Mr. Slater, I presume?—picks up the phone, and I ask for Ian. There’s a long pause. I practice blowing smoke rings while I wait. Finally, Ian picks up.
    “Hi,” I say in a very upbeat voice.
    “Hi,” he says flatly.
    “So, what’re doing?”
    “Nothing.”
    “Oh. Well, I’m having a strawberry milkshake and thinking about you.” I suck loudly on my straw so Ian can hear. It makes a rude slurping noise. Deb and Mar smother their laughter with their hands. There’s silence on the other end of the line. “So, do you miss me?” I ask, teasing.
    “I can’t talk now,” Ian says.
    “Why?” I ask. “Are your parents there?”
    “No. Look, don’t call me at home, okay?”
    “What?”
    “I gotta go,” he says.
    “But what if I want to talk to you?”
    “We’ll talk at school.”
    “But—”
    Click. He hangs up. What the hell? I put down the phone.
    “What happened?” Marlene asks.
    “Nothing,” I say.
    “Is he going to call back?” Deb asks.
    I shrug. I reach for my cigarette and take a long, slow drag. Deb and Mar watch me like a couple of vultures. “But what did he say?” Marlene asks.
    “Nothing, so just back off,” I snap. I drop my cigarette into my strawberry shake. It sizzles and sinks, looking really gross. I toss the whole thing into the sink and watch it ooze down the drain. Nobody hangs up on me. Ian Slater better learn that.

“With a Little Help from My Friends”
    Dad is supposed to come to Toronto for the weekend, but he cancels. Stomach flu. Last weekend, he was short-staffed at the store. Bobby and I are really bummed. It’s the third week of September, and he hasn’t come once. We sit at the kitchen table and no one talks. I pick at my food and think about Ian. All week, Carla has been clinging to him like a limpet to a rock. In homeroom, when she’s not around, Ian tugs on my hair and says, “Hey, Rapunzel, how’s it going?” That’s what he calls me; it’s like this thing between us. But in drama, he sits with Carla draped over him, and we act like total strangers.
    I look across the table at Bobby, who’s smooshing his spaghetti into his meat sauce. Mom is the only one smiling. In fact, she’s looking positively perky. She says, “Guess what? I have some exciting news.”
    Bobby and I eye her suspiciously.
Exciting
is one of those dangerous words that parents use to try and con you into thinking that something crappy, like