Read Online Heartache and Other Natural Shocks by Glenda Leznoff - Free Book Online Page A

coming from Julia’s open window next door. “Only Love Can Break Your Heart.” Neil Young. Deb, Mar and I saw Neil Young last January at Massey Hall—a solo acoustic guitar. What a great concert! I bet Julia’s never seen Neil Young. She’s probably never even been to a concert. I wonder if she saw Ian’s motorcycle parked in my driveway. I hope she did.
    Friday night, Deb, Mar and I sit at my kitchen table making diet strawberry milkshakes in my mom’s blender with frozen strawberries, Sweet’N Low and ice milk. Deb and Mar are arguing about how many calories are in the milkshake, but all I can think about is Ian. “I am in love,” I announce.
    Debbie sucks on the straw of her milkshake and says, “Carla, you’re not in love, you’re in lust.”
    “It
is
love,” I insist, “because when we kiss, I melt into a big wet puddle.”
    Mar and Deb roll their eyes. Maybe after a week of hearing me describe what it’s like making out with Ian, they’re bored. Or jealous. It’s not like
they’ve
ever gone out with anyone. But of course, it would be rude of me to bring that up. They simply don’t understand what it’s like to feel a man’s lips on yours and his hands on your body. I sip my milkshake,which would taste a lot better with real ice cream, and say, “I’ve never felt like this about a guy before.”
    Marlene says, “You said that last year about Tim Fraser.”
    “Yeah, well, this is different,” I explain. “Tim was a boy; Ian is a man. And he’s older.”
    Deb and Mar’s eyes pop wide open. “Like how old?” Deb asks.
    Oops. I wasn’t going to tell them that part—about Ian being eighteen and still in grade eleven—but since the cat is out of the bag, I fill them in on how Ian got suspended for fighting last year and flunked out.
    Marlene gasps. “I told you he had a temper.”
    “Yeah, but it wasn’t his fault,” I explain. “There was this jerk who kept bugging him, and one day they got into a fight, and then he got expelled.”
    “You said ‘suspended,’ ” Deb says, narrowing her eyes.
    “That was the first time. The second time, he got expelled.”
    Deb and Mar exchange looks. “Wow,” Deb says. “And you want to
date
this guy?”
    “Debbie, you don’t know anything about him,” I say.
    “Yeah, well, neither do you,” Deb says.
    “Yes, I do,” I say. “We spent three afternoons together.”
    “And half the time you were necking,” Marlene snickers.
    “So what? You guys are so judgmental.” I push my milkshake away. “Look, if you’re going to sit here and run him down, don’t bother staying.”
    “We’re not running him down,” Debbie says.
    “He failed his chemistry test,” Marlene says.
    “So? Lots of people fail chemistry,” I say. “It’s a hard course.”
    “It’s not that hard,” Mar says. “It was just the periodic table. Straight memorization.”
    “Just because he doesn’t like school doesn’t mean he’s stupid,” I say.
    “I’m not saying he’s stupid,” Marlene says. “He probably didn’t even crack open his book. That’s the point. He doesn’t even bother trying.”
    “He’s just a little bit wild,” Deb says in that condescending tone she has.
    “Yeah, well, maybe I like ‘wild,’ ” I snap. “Maybe I want to do something really wild and crazy, like go downtown to a disco and dance all night, or even have passionate, sweaty sex with a hot and horny eighteen-year-old guy!”
    Deb’s and Mar’s jaws drop. “Really?” Marlene asks.
    “Yeah,” I say, although I’m not totally sure.
    “Wow,” Deb says.
    “But we’re only sixteen,” Mar says. “We’re not even legal for anything, except driving.”
    “Are you actually going to?” Deb asks, and we all know she means
sex
.
    I shrug and light a cigarette.
    Marlene says, “I didn’t realize you were such a feminist.”
    I hadn’t really thought about whether I’m a feminist or not, but now I’m liking the idea. “Well, of course I’m a