get the idea. In retrospect, the way Noah spouted out answers in our math section was not entirely different than the way Luke mouthed off his opinions in our expos class, but somehow I found myself in awe of Noah’s brilliance.
It was good between Noah and me in the beginning. I was his first girlfriend and he was grateful just to have me and to be getting laid. But eventually, his arrogance seeped through and I could tell he thought he was destined for greater things than little old me.
“I don’t know,” I say. “He got some scholarship in England and that’s the last I heard of him.”
“What an idiot,” Luke comments.
“He wasn’t an idiot,” I say quietly. “He was brilliant.”
“Well, he was definitely extremely ugly,” Luke says.
I start laughing. With his sticklike frame and blazing red hair and freckles, Noah wasn’t anybody’s conception of handsome, especially compared with Luke. Maybe that’s the real reason I was willing to date him—because his looks didn’t intimidate me the way Luke’s did. “Okay, he wasn’t Brad Pitt or anything, but…”
“Oh, come on,” Luke says. “You probably never saw him again because they captured him and put him on display in the zoo.”
I’m laughing hard enough now that there are actually a few tears in my eyes. “Stop…”
“Seriously, I couldn’t believe you picked that guy over me.” Luke shakes his head. “Talk about blows to the old self-esteem…”
“And what about that blonde cheerleader type from Wellesley you were sucking face with through all of senior year?” I remind him, wiping my eyes.
“Margo?” He shakes his head. “She decided to believe the doctors who said I wasn’t going to walk again, and she took off.”
I stare at him, the smile gone from my face. “Oh my God, Luke, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be.” He shrugs. “It wasn’t true love. If she got in some disfiguring accident, I would have dumped her just as fast.”
I’m not entirely sure that’s true. Luke is nowhere near as shallow as I thought he was. After all, he liked me.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had hooked up with Luke that night in college. Maybe we would have dated a few months, but I can’t believe it would have gone any further than that. We were just too different. We still are, yet… well, he’s not quite as awful as I thought he was. Maybe.
***
That night when I get home from work, I’m proud to report I don’t have a scrap of make-up on my face. That’s proof that I don’t actually like Luke. At least not in that way .
When I get up to my floor, Sadie is standing in the hallway talking to another of my elderly neighbors, a seventysomething woman named Ethel. They’re both wearing housecoats and fuzzy slippers. I swear, nobody in my building is under retirement age.
“Hi, Ellie!” Sadie says cheerfully. “Are you going out with your suitor tonight?”
“Um,” I say. “I don’t really have a suitor, Sadie.”
“Of course she doesn’t!” Ethel pipes up. “Don’t be dumb, Sadie.”
I stare at Ethel in surprise. I always thought Ethel was a nice-enough lady, so I didn’t expect her to insult me (or Sadie) that way.
“How could you say that?” Sadie cries in my defense. “Ellie is beautiful!” She bites her lip. “Well, except for her hips. But she’s working on that.”
Great.
“Oh, Sadie,” Ethel sighs. “Don’t you know anything?” She gives me a knowing look. “Ellie is a lesbian. She’s not interested in having any suitors.”
Seriously?
“No!” Sadie gasps. “Is that true, Ellie?”
I start to tell her that it absolutely is not true, but Ethel quickly cuts me off: “Ellie, you don’t have to stay in the closet. Just because we’re old, it doesn’t mean we’re not understanding about this stuff.” She smiles proudly. “My granddaughter is a lesbian, you know. I could set you up if you’d like. She’s really pretty.”
Okay, I have to put an end to
It was good between Noah and me in the beginning. I was his first girlfriend and he was grateful just to have me and to be getting laid. But eventually, his arrogance seeped through and I could tell he thought he was destined for greater things than little old me.
“I don’t know,” I say. “He got some scholarship in England and that’s the last I heard of him.”
“What an idiot,” Luke comments.
“He wasn’t an idiot,” I say quietly. “He was brilliant.”
“Well, he was definitely extremely ugly,” Luke says.
I start laughing. With his sticklike frame and blazing red hair and freckles, Noah wasn’t anybody’s conception of handsome, especially compared with Luke. Maybe that’s the real reason I was willing to date him—because his looks didn’t intimidate me the way Luke’s did. “Okay, he wasn’t Brad Pitt or anything, but…”
“Oh, come on,” Luke says. “You probably never saw him again because they captured him and put him on display in the zoo.”
I’m laughing hard enough now that there are actually a few tears in my eyes. “Stop…”
“Seriously, I couldn’t believe you picked that guy over me.” Luke shakes his head. “Talk about blows to the old self-esteem…”
“And what about that blonde cheerleader type from Wellesley you were sucking face with through all of senior year?” I remind him, wiping my eyes.
“Margo?” He shakes his head. “She decided to believe the doctors who said I wasn’t going to walk again, and she took off.”
I stare at him, the smile gone from my face. “Oh my God, Luke, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be.” He shrugs. “It wasn’t true love. If she got in some disfiguring accident, I would have dumped her just as fast.”
I’m not entirely sure that’s true. Luke is nowhere near as shallow as I thought he was. After all, he liked me.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had hooked up with Luke that night in college. Maybe we would have dated a few months, but I can’t believe it would have gone any further than that. We were just too different. We still are, yet… well, he’s not quite as awful as I thought he was. Maybe.
***
That night when I get home from work, I’m proud to report I don’t have a scrap of make-up on my face. That’s proof that I don’t actually like Luke. At least not in that way .
When I get up to my floor, Sadie is standing in the hallway talking to another of my elderly neighbors, a seventysomething woman named Ethel. They’re both wearing housecoats and fuzzy slippers. I swear, nobody in my building is under retirement age.
“Hi, Ellie!” Sadie says cheerfully. “Are you going out with your suitor tonight?”
“Um,” I say. “I don’t really have a suitor, Sadie.”
“Of course she doesn’t!” Ethel pipes up. “Don’t be dumb, Sadie.”
I stare at Ethel in surprise. I always thought Ethel was a nice-enough lady, so I didn’t expect her to insult me (or Sadie) that way.
“How could you say that?” Sadie cries in my defense. “Ellie is beautiful!” She bites her lip. “Well, except for her hips. But she’s working on that.”
Great.
“Oh, Sadie,” Ethel sighs. “Don’t you know anything?” She gives me a knowing look. “Ellie is a lesbian. She’s not interested in having any suitors.”
Seriously?
“No!” Sadie gasps. “Is that true, Ellie?”
I start to tell her that it absolutely is not true, but Ethel quickly cuts me off: “Ellie, you don’t have to stay in the closet. Just because we’re old, it doesn’t mean we’re not understanding about this stuff.” She smiles proudly. “My granddaughter is a lesbian, you know. I could set you up if you’d like. She’s really pretty.”
Okay, I have to put an end to
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