xx
Brit
and Amber came to me just after 7am, I told them everything I had heard and
they comforted me and wiped my tears. Amber said Dan had been calling her and
Kyle trying to get messages to me and I looked at my phone, dead. I charged it
up while Amber made coffee.
“I
called Jonathan.” Brit told me “It’s all true, Rachael is pregnant but as far
as he knew he had her booked in for an abortion because she didn’t want it and
she had asked for his help. She must have changed her mind when she saw Dan
again. Jonathan said they were never dating but that he had felt sorry for her
in her situation and wanted to help. I find that hard to believe, Ella, we both
know what a selfish bastard he is. Something is going on here that we don’t
know about but I’m sure as hell gonna find out.” She assured me. Amber joined
us with coffee
“Kyle
is adamant it can’t Dan’s baby because Dan had told him he hadn’t touched her
for months” she blew over her cup before taking a sip.
“That’s
what he told me too and I was stupid enough to believe him. I know it hasn’t
been long but I really thought we could have something, you know. I let myself
fall for him and I hate myself for it.”
I
wiped my tears on my sleeve. I didn’t care what Kyle thought, it didn’t change
the fact that Dan was no longer mine. Tears dripped into my coffee and my phone
sprang to life. He had been leaving messages, lots of them. He wanted to see
me, wanted a chance to explain his choice. I didn’t want to hear it but I
couldn’t let it end this way. I talked it over with Amber and Brit and decided
I would talk to him, it’s not his fault that she’s pregnant, well actually it
is but he’s doing the decent thing and as much as it hurts, as much as I hate
it, I love him more for it and that’s what’s torturing me. I love him. The
girls gave me some space and I text him.
I’m at my hut if you want to talk to me.
Ella xx
He
came straight away, as he always had when I called. He knocked, I took a deep
breath and opened the door.
“Hi”
I managed to squeak. This was going to be harder than I thought. He looked as
bad as I felt.
“Hi.
Can I come in?” I stepped aside and he walked into the living area. I wanted to
hold him but I had to be strong, this was going to be hard enough.
“Ella,
I’m so sorry!” he walked up to me and tears rolled down my face, he wiped them
for me.
“It’s
not your fault Dan, you’re doing the right thing, as much as it hurts I think
you’re doing the right thing.” I shrugged.
“So
how come it hurts so fucking much? I want you to know I never knew this was
going to happen, I never set out to hurt you, I wanted this to be forever, it’s
killing me to think it’s over, that someone else will get to hold you and make
love to you.” His head dropped and I knew he was crying too.
“It’s
not your fault Dan. I was stupid, I shouldn’t have let myself fall so hard but
I couldn’t help it.” I reached out and touched his cheek.
“Don’t
worry about anyone else, there will never be anyone who comes close to you, I won’t
be replacing you Dan, I don’t think I can.” He kissed the palm of my hand.
“So
I’m going to be stuck with a woman I can’t stand and a child I didn’t want and
you’re going to be lonely forever? How fucked up is that Ella? I hate that even
more. Please don’t be lonely because of me.” He walked up to the door.
“I’m,
we’re leaving this afternoon. Jonathans orders. This isn’t how I wanted it to
end, hell I didn’t want this to end. I’m sorry.” And he was gone.
I
didn’t know how to react. I cried, screamed, kicked and punched my bed. I must
have fallen asleep mid tantrum because when I woke up it was dark and I knew he
had gone. I got a bottle of wine from the fridge and drank alone on the sand
for a while. Brit joined me and we drank well into the night and chatted about
everything. This isn’t how either of us had imagined
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