forwards, Dan was sitting on
the sand with his head in his hands. I stopped just out of sight but close
enough to hear their conversation. “I don’t believe you.” He snarled angrily at
her.
“I’m
not dating Jonathan, he’s just a friend. It can’t be anybody else Dan.” She was
crying. “Why would I lie to you?” she sobbed. He looked up at her.
“So
you left me to befriend an old guy and now you want me to take you back?” he
was shouting now.
“He
doesn’t want me because of this.” She shouted back. “He offered me money to get
rid of it but I can’t, I don’t want to, and any way it’s not his baby to kill,
it’s mine, yours, ours!”
My
blood ran cold. She was having his baby, Dan’s baby. I couldn’t breathe,
couldn’t take it in. I ran back to the hut, took my dress off and put my
running gear on, I needed to think, to get away. I ran in the opposite
direction, fast. I didn’t want to bump into anyone, see anyone, I needed to be
alone. I ran until I hit my wall hoping I could run away from it all.
I
had a bad feeling something was going to happen but I wasn’t expecting this. I
was coming to the end of the lit beach so I thought I better stay here for a
while, I looked at my phone, 3am. It would start to get light soon enough and
then I could keep running or go back. I didn’t know what to do. I noticed I had
twelve missed calls, some from Brit, some from Amber and some from Dan. I
started to cry when I saw his name light up on the screen now, he was calling
me. I realised I hadn’t told anyone I was going. I answered with the intention
of just letting them know I was safe.
“Hi”
his voice sounded strained, was he crying? “Where the hell are you Ella? You’ve
got us going out of our minds.” Anger? Was he angry at me?
“I’m
safe, just went for a run, needed to get away” my voice started to break.
“El…gorgeous
girl, I don’t want to do this over the phone, I need to see you.” he wasn’t
angry anymore. Well I was, he told me he hadn’t loved her, that their
relationship had been more of a friendship in the end but even I’m not naïve
enough to think that friendships create babies. He must have still been
attracted to her enough to fuck her. Either that or he was lying to me all
along just like Tom did.
“Why
do you need to see me? You want to see me cry when you tell me it’s over, is
that it? You want to see me hurt when you tell me you’ve got to give her a shot
because she’s carrying your baby?” The line went quiet. I went to hang up.
“I
didn’t want this, didn’t ask for this. I’m so sorry gorgeous girl, I can’t turn
my back on my baby, my responsibilities.” He sighed.
“‘I
understand.” I said because I did. From the moment I knew she was pregnant I
knew he was going to leave me. I hung up and fell to the sand sobbing. It was
over. That was it. I didn’t know what to do, what could I do? His decision was
made and he had chosen her. I walked back to my hut and snuck in without anyone
noticing. It was still early and everyone was sleeping. I didn’t want to sleep,
my head hurt, my eyes hurt, my body hurt. I showered and lay on my bed until I
knew what I needed to do. I needed to go home.
Sunday 16 th June
Hi,
So yesterday I wrote a list of worries, her
being pregnant wasn’t on my list! Why is this happening? I feel empty and lost
and stupid. I can’t believe how much it hurts. I’ve only known him for a week
yet this pain in my chest is far worse than when Tom left. I hate this. Why
can’t I just be happy for a change, why can’t drama ruin someone else’s love
life and leave me alone? Why the hell did I let my guard down and fall so
quickly? Who knows. This is shit. What do I do now? I don’t know whether to
hide my true feelings and pretend I don’t feel as much as I do for him or to
show how cut up I am. I just want to go home. I need Bud cuddles. Take a deep
breath Ella, get on with the day…
Ella
Lindsay Blanc
Kate Thompson
Brian Groh
Elizabeth Van Zandt
Dara Joy
Micalea Smeltzer
Baxter Clare
Eve Asbury
Kerry Greenwood
Tad Williams