attention to the venue, transforming the dining room table into a thing of splendour. Had it been a boat it would have been a grand ocean going liner. I polished it until the surface gleamed and then set it with elegant black glass place mats, thin white china, plain crystal glasses, silver cutlery and a floral arrangement of white roses and carnations set off with ivy picked from the garden. As taught by Eileen I’d washed and dried it and then polished each leaf with a smear of sweet almond oil. It enhanced the green colour and brought out the variations in the leaves as well as making them shine. The final touch was a crisp white linen napkin at each place setting.
It looked gorgeous, like something out of a Homes and Gardens magazine shoot. I was a satisfied and happy houseboy. I get a kick out of doing my job well and there is nothing like a well dressed dining table. It turns a meal into an occasion. I’ve come a long way from fish finger and ketchup sandwiches served up on chipped earthenware, though I still rather enjoy a fish finger sarnie from time to time. Never let it be said that this boy rejects all aspects of his humble past.
I was walking past the lounge on my way upstairs to make myself beautiful for my lord and masters when I heard Dick’s mobile ring. He was still snoozing away in front of the telly so I picked it up off the coffee table to see who was calling. It was Shane, probably to say he was almost home. I answered the call. He sounded less than pleased to hear my voice instead of Dick’s, snapping a command for me to wake him up pronto, which I did.
He wasn’t almost home. In fact he wasn’t coming home at all, not that evening.
He was staying an extra night and travelling back sometime on Sunday. We were to go ahead with the dinner party, as it would be a shame to disappoint guests and waste good food.
I was upset on several counts. I’d slogged my fucking guts out all afternoon, and for what? To be told, second hand, my efforts had been a waste of time. Poor Dick got the broad end of my annoyance. “Why couldn’t he have told me he wasn’t coming home instead of him telling me to wake you so he could tell you to tell me? Is it beneath him to talk to me directly? What am I, one of the fucking untouchables?”
“It’s nothing personal, honey, as well you know. He’s old school. It’s natural for him to give information to me before you. He sounded tired and in a hurry. I expect he didn’t…” Dick trailed off so I finished the sentence for him.
“He didn’t want to listen to me whine and moan and ask for things like an explanation as to why he’s let me work my nuts off all day when he knew he wouldn’t be coming home.”
Dick’s eyes darkened to a shade of exasperation. “Don’t start with one of your bloody diatribes, Gilli. It wasn’t like that at all. He had planned to come back today.
He was looking forward to this evening, but Penny has got herself in a state over John again so he’s staying to lend his support. They’re his family after all. Have some sympathy.”
“There’s no point in having a birthday dinner if the birthday person isn’t going to be at it. It’s like having a fucking wake without a corpse.” I tugged crossly at my greasy food stained top. “He tells me not to buy him a present and now he won’t even allow me the pleasure of making him a nice dinner.”
“He told me not to buy him a gift this year either, Gilli. There’s nothing he needs or wants so stop moaning.”
“I’m not moaning. I’m stating my case. Seeing as you’re first wife and he’s your legal husband it’s up to you to call people and cancel. I’m going out for a walk.”
Dick immediately put his dominant hat on. “If you think you’re going down to the Rose and Crown to wallow in lager and self-pity you can think again.” He jabbed a long finger at me. “Shane said to go ahead and that’s what we’re going to do. You’re disappointed, fair enough so
It looked gorgeous, like something out of a Homes and Gardens magazine shoot. I was a satisfied and happy houseboy. I get a kick out of doing my job well and there is nothing like a well dressed dining table. It turns a meal into an occasion. I’ve come a long way from fish finger and ketchup sandwiches served up on chipped earthenware, though I still rather enjoy a fish finger sarnie from time to time. Never let it be said that this boy rejects all aspects of his humble past.
I was walking past the lounge on my way upstairs to make myself beautiful for my lord and masters when I heard Dick’s mobile ring. He was still snoozing away in front of the telly so I picked it up off the coffee table to see who was calling. It was Shane, probably to say he was almost home. I answered the call. He sounded less than pleased to hear my voice instead of Dick’s, snapping a command for me to wake him up pronto, which I did.
He wasn’t almost home. In fact he wasn’t coming home at all, not that evening.
He was staying an extra night and travelling back sometime on Sunday. We were to go ahead with the dinner party, as it would be a shame to disappoint guests and waste good food.
I was upset on several counts. I’d slogged my fucking guts out all afternoon, and for what? To be told, second hand, my efforts had been a waste of time. Poor Dick got the broad end of my annoyance. “Why couldn’t he have told me he wasn’t coming home instead of him telling me to wake you so he could tell you to tell me? Is it beneath him to talk to me directly? What am I, one of the fucking untouchables?”
“It’s nothing personal, honey, as well you know. He’s old school. It’s natural for him to give information to me before you. He sounded tired and in a hurry. I expect he didn’t…” Dick trailed off so I finished the sentence for him.
“He didn’t want to listen to me whine and moan and ask for things like an explanation as to why he’s let me work my nuts off all day when he knew he wouldn’t be coming home.”
Dick’s eyes darkened to a shade of exasperation. “Don’t start with one of your bloody diatribes, Gilli. It wasn’t like that at all. He had planned to come back today.
He was looking forward to this evening, but Penny has got herself in a state over John again so he’s staying to lend his support. They’re his family after all. Have some sympathy.”
“There’s no point in having a birthday dinner if the birthday person isn’t going to be at it. It’s like having a fucking wake without a corpse.” I tugged crossly at my greasy food stained top. “He tells me not to buy him a present and now he won’t even allow me the pleasure of making him a nice dinner.”
“He told me not to buy him a gift this year either, Gilli. There’s nothing he needs or wants so stop moaning.”
“I’m not moaning. I’m stating my case. Seeing as you’re first wife and he’s your legal husband it’s up to you to call people and cancel. I’m going out for a walk.”
Dick immediately put his dominant hat on. “If you think you’re going down to the Rose and Crown to wallow in lager and self-pity you can think again.” He jabbed a long finger at me. “Shane said to go ahead and that’s what we’re going to do. You’re disappointed, fair enough so
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