Read Online Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved by Tiana Laveen - Free Book Online
Authors: Tiana Laveen
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to cuss, he wanted to scream, and he wanted to pound something into oblivion. He wouldn’t mind a drink, or four, probably more.
He wouldn’t mind cracking Heaven open, shoving his head through the damned clouds and demanding an explanation—in his fury, he no longer held back. Eyes blurred with hot tears, he raced out of the waiting room, bypassed the elevator and hot tailed it down seven flights of steps, as if competing in the Olympics. Soon he burst through the doors into the open air, tumbling forward, and landing on his knees in a praying position. The irony...
He looked around. To his right were several parked ambulances and to his left was a man smoking a cigarette, the guy’s eyes shifty and his body motionless. Getting to his feet, Dane headed around a side area toward two benches sitting near an overstuffed, rancid trashcan filled to the brim, spilling fourth with rotting fast food, crushed aluminum soda cans and sandwich wrappers. He stood there, uncertain, trying to catch his breath—the little he had left.
“You alright there, buddy?” the man finally asked as he blew copious smoke out the side of his crooked mouth.
“Put that crap out...it’ll kill you,” was all Dane could muster as the tears flowed and his heart gave out.
The man offered a slight smile. “I know...” He took another drag and disappeared, leaving Dane to his own devices, more than likely not in the mood for a judgmental, holier-than-thou conversation.
But Dane didn’t feel holy at all; he felt like raising hell. However, as soon as he came back to his senses, he finally realized his place was back by his friend’s side. Summoning some form of control, he re-entered the hospital and made his way back to Josh.
Josh looked eerily calm while a male nurse explained his discharge instructions and handed him a pain medication prescription. He offered Dane a smile, one brimming with sincerity. A special smile that offered condolences on his pending death, gave Dane his deepest sympathies, as if Dane were the one dying, not he. For Dane was the one who was struggling, having problems letting go. He grappled reality to the ground and expecting that when they both rose from the dust, a brand new ‘truth’ would greet him with a promise to be different, to be better, and create ‘make-believe’ just this once. Just as Josh had told him over dinner, and numerous times over the phone, he’d accepted his destiny and now Dane knew without a shadow of a doubt, his best friend truly meant it.
Nothing else was left now but for Dane to accept it, too...
~***~
“Hello, Henry!” Dane waved to a priest in his parish. Fr. Daniel nodded and waved back as he made his trek across a small clearing through the freshly cut grass.
He’d seen quite a few of his fellow priests lately while sitting and relaxing, jogging or daydreaming on the lawn with a book and packed lunch. He reckoned they’d been around the entire time, but he had always considered the park his special place, to be guarded from the world. Now that it was getting warmer, people were coming out of the confines of their dwellings to enjoy nature and decompress. He leisurely walked on the bike trail he’d crossed a hundred times before, taking in his surroundings and feeling a sense of tranquility.
“What is that?”
Dane stopped dead in his tracks trying to figure out the source of the humming that seemed louder as the moments passed. The musical, feminine lilt warmed his heart. So low, soothing, earthy, and real. Soon, the hum turned into words, lyrics floating past his ears and tantalizing him with a rhythm that resonated inside of his heart. Somehow, it seemed familiar, like when one hears the very end of a song on the radio, but in other ways, it seemed brand new to his ears. People began to walk briskly as the rain started to fall, but he was stuck, still searching for her who kept singing as if the sun still shone and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. He
He wouldn’t mind cracking Heaven open, shoving his head through the damned clouds and demanding an explanation—in his fury, he no longer held back. Eyes blurred with hot tears, he raced out of the waiting room, bypassed the elevator and hot tailed it down seven flights of steps, as if competing in the Olympics. Soon he burst through the doors into the open air, tumbling forward, and landing on his knees in a praying position. The irony...
He looked around. To his right were several parked ambulances and to his left was a man smoking a cigarette, the guy’s eyes shifty and his body motionless. Getting to his feet, Dane headed around a side area toward two benches sitting near an overstuffed, rancid trashcan filled to the brim, spilling fourth with rotting fast food, crushed aluminum soda cans and sandwich wrappers. He stood there, uncertain, trying to catch his breath—the little he had left.
“You alright there, buddy?” the man finally asked as he blew copious smoke out the side of his crooked mouth.
“Put that crap out...it’ll kill you,” was all Dane could muster as the tears flowed and his heart gave out.
The man offered a slight smile. “I know...” He took another drag and disappeared, leaving Dane to his own devices, more than likely not in the mood for a judgmental, holier-than-thou conversation.
But Dane didn’t feel holy at all; he felt like raising hell. However, as soon as he came back to his senses, he finally realized his place was back by his friend’s side. Summoning some form of control, he re-entered the hospital and made his way back to Josh.
Josh looked eerily calm while a male nurse explained his discharge instructions and handed him a pain medication prescription. He offered Dane a smile, one brimming with sincerity. A special smile that offered condolences on his pending death, gave Dane his deepest sympathies, as if Dane were the one dying, not he. For Dane was the one who was struggling, having problems letting go. He grappled reality to the ground and expecting that when they both rose from the dust, a brand new ‘truth’ would greet him with a promise to be different, to be better, and create ‘make-believe’ just this once. Just as Josh had told him over dinner, and numerous times over the phone, he’d accepted his destiny and now Dane knew without a shadow of a doubt, his best friend truly meant it.
Nothing else was left now but for Dane to accept it, too...
~***~
“Hello, Henry!” Dane waved to a priest in his parish. Fr. Daniel nodded and waved back as he made his trek across a small clearing through the freshly cut grass.
He’d seen quite a few of his fellow priests lately while sitting and relaxing, jogging or daydreaming on the lawn with a book and packed lunch. He reckoned they’d been around the entire time, but he had always considered the park his special place, to be guarded from the world. Now that it was getting warmer, people were coming out of the confines of their dwellings to enjoy nature and decompress. He leisurely walked on the bike trail he’d crossed a hundred times before, taking in his surroundings and feeling a sense of tranquility.
“What is that?”
Dane stopped dead in his tracks trying to figure out the source of the humming that seemed louder as the moments passed. The musical, feminine lilt warmed his heart. So low, soothing, earthy, and real. Soon, the hum turned into words, lyrics floating past his ears and tantalizing him with a rhythm that resonated inside of his heart. Somehow, it seemed familiar, like when one hears the very end of a song on the radio, but in other ways, it seemed brand new to his ears. People began to walk briskly as the rain started to fall, but he was stuck, still searching for her who kept singing as if the sun still shone and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. He
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