Read Online Find Me in the Dark by Karina Ashe - Free Book Online Page A

then, “Oh God, Derrick? The bass player Derrick?”
    Bass player Derrick? Who the hell was she talking about—oh no, wait, shit! “No, not that Derrick.”
    But it’s too late. They’ve jumped to their own conclusions. The damage has been done.
    Dolly pats my leg sympathetically. “Oh sweetie.”
    “It’s not that Derrick!” I wail. I sound so pathetic, even to my own ears, and I’m protesting so much that it probably sounds like I’m lying.
    The girls share a look.
    “Did you use…protection?” Dolly asks softly.
    I feel like I’m about to die on the spot.
    Derrick is a walking one night stand. He doesn’t go out with girls, he just fucks them. And yeah, he’s hot. Insanely hot. And everyone on campus wants him. Or at least that’s the official story. I certainly do not want him, and neither does any sane woman. After being with a woman, he drops them and only calls back if he’s interested in round two, and supposedly the girls are always up for round two.
    I shake my head. Sure he’s hot as hell, but he’s also an asshole. A gigantic asshole. No sane girl would get involved with him.
    And my best friends think that he and I had a late night practice session together.
    Oh god.
    I bury my face in my hands. “You guys, it wasn’t Derrick. I swear.”
    Cassie pats my back. “It’s alright. We just wish it had been David…”
    “Shut up Cass,” Dolly interrupts. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Just know that we’re here for you. Hey, let’s watch The Notepad ! That’s fun.”
    “It is not fun!” My voice is partially muffled by my hands. “You don’t even like that movie!”
    “Sure I do,” Dolly coos.
    I didn’t even know she was capable of making that kind of sound. This is so bad! My friends pity me and are being nice because they think after all these years of celibacy I decided to give it up to an asshole who’s never going to look at me again. It’s not like that! I want to yell, but they’ve already made up their minds, and this lie, however embarrassing, is still better than the truth. Anna holds onto my arm and gives it reassuring squeezes.
    “Hey, we’re watching The Notepad . You can’t hold onto me like that after I told you everything,” I say even though I hadn’t told them everything.
    Dolly loses interest before the intro credits finish. “So, how was it?” she asks.
    “Come on, what are you doing?” Cassie whispers.
    “She got some. She should tell us how it went,” Dolly replies.
    “We don’t know she got some,” Cassie says.
    “She was with Derrick,” Dolly whispers back.
    “You know I can hear you guys, right?” I remind them. Listening to my friends refer to sleeping with a guy as ‘getting some’ was really creepy.
    They both glance up at me.
    “Well, you didn’t answer my question,” Dolly says. I guess she took my comment as fair game.
    I sink back further into my seat. “Let’s just watch the movie.”
    “Well, at least it was good,” Dolly winks.
    “How can you tell?” Anna asks, breathless.
    Cassie tries to shush them as Dolly pats my leg. “Oh, I can just tell.”
    It was a long movie. I had to look away during the sex scene, which wasn’t lost on anyone.

Chapter 9
    The next morning, I wake again before anyone else. When I creep downstairs, I find a letter.
    I’m too afraid to open it. After last night, I feel like there is no place secret enough to read his words.
    My fingers tremble even before I’m opening it. It’s hard to get a grip on anything. The dark feelings of the night before—that breathlessness, that desire—pool up in my stomach and drip down to my legs. For a moment I grip the cement bench and just breathe.
    But even my nerves can’t prevent me from reading it for very long.
    My words have always felt trivial. At times I’ve wanted to destroy every letter I’ve ever written to you because all of them are such a pale imitation of how I feel about you. I kept writing only because not doing so would mean