Read Online Fashionably Dead in Diapers by Robyn Peterman - Free Book Online
Authors: Robyn Peterman
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Beret” and Jane absolutely nails the shit out of “Purple Rain” and “1999”."
"I'm going to be sick," Ethan muttered from across the room.
"It will be fine," I said, trying to convince myself more than him. "There will be…"
The explosion was violent and completely unexpected. We weren't at war with anyone at the moment as far as I knew, but clearly I didn't know shit. The windows blew out and shards of glass shot through the room like machine gun bullets. Blood splattered the walls and all of my friends went into action. Blazing pink fires billowed and screams like I'd never heard pierced the air as I winced and clapped my hands over my ears.
The invaders were beautiful and even a brief glance at them was painful. I knew what they were and it made my stomach roil. I didn't think they left their land very often, but apparently they were tired of waiting for their Queen. The Fairies had come for Gemma because she had refused to go to them. They did not look happy to see her and I knew her minutes were numbered. This was not working for me.
The Kev no longer looked like David Hasselhoff. He was a gorgeous avenging Fairy in hand to hand combat with three other viciously beautiful people of his race. Gemma had shifted into something that resembled a shimmering Dragon with fangs that put a prehistoric tiger's to shame. She was roughly the size of an SUV and I said a quick prayer to Uncle God that the floor would hold.
It was happening so fast I wasn't quite sure it was happening at all. Instinct took over and I began to shoot magic from my fingertips that should have turned the ethereal bastards to dust, but only served to piss them off.
"Ethan," I shouted. "Behind you!"
He turned quickly and decapitated two ferocious Fairies with his bare hands. They were headed for Gemma and would have happily made my mate collateral damage along the way. His furious roar bounced off the walls of the room and captured everything I was feeling. Who did these pretty cocksuckers think they were busting in on game night and destroying my house? I was so done with people messing up my stuff. It was one thing if Sammy did it…Oh my God. My baby.
As I began to run to the nursery next door, I was trapped in a chokehold by one of the best looking dudes I'd ever seen. He had no idea what a mistake he was making. I was a mother who was going to protect her child and he was in my way. Bad fucking move—very bad.
My scream stopped time and the Fairy tried to back off, but that was so not happening. His ass was mine. "Martha and Jane, nursery," I shouted. "NOW." They were insane, but they would die for my child.
"On it," Martha grunted as she literally flew from the room with Jane in tow, kicking every Fairy in the head as they left. How in the Hell could they already fly? Honestly, I didn't care—I was overjoyed that they could fly. It would mean they could grab Sammy and get away from here if need be.
Above the frightening sounds of the battle I heard The Kev commanding a reluctant Gemma to transport to a safe house, but she was having none of it. She fought savagely right alongside her man. However, The Kev was right—she should leave until we got rid of the enemy. I needed to kill a Fairy real quick and then have a brief word with my BFF. First things first…
"You're just a woman," the Fairy snarled with disgust as long, deadly claws ejected from his fingertips. "A filthy Vampyre to boot. I eat shit like you for breakfast."
"Oh my God," I shouted to the room. "This stupid assjacket eats shit. That is soooooo gross."
Pam's cackle from across the room as she, Venus and the King destroyed Fairies almost made me smile.
"That's not what I meant," he screeched as he noticed other Fairies laughing at him.
"Well dude, you're gonna have a really hard time living that shit eating thing down—so I'm gonna help you out with that."
His anger made him sloppy, which
"I'm going to be sick," Ethan muttered from across the room.
"It will be fine," I said, trying to convince myself more than him. "There will be…"
The explosion was violent and completely unexpected. We weren't at war with anyone at the moment as far as I knew, but clearly I didn't know shit. The windows blew out and shards of glass shot through the room like machine gun bullets. Blood splattered the walls and all of my friends went into action. Blazing pink fires billowed and screams like I'd never heard pierced the air as I winced and clapped my hands over my ears.
The invaders were beautiful and even a brief glance at them was painful. I knew what they were and it made my stomach roil. I didn't think they left their land very often, but apparently they were tired of waiting for their Queen. The Fairies had come for Gemma because she had refused to go to them. They did not look happy to see her and I knew her minutes were numbered. This was not working for me.
The Kev no longer looked like David Hasselhoff. He was a gorgeous avenging Fairy in hand to hand combat with three other viciously beautiful people of his race. Gemma had shifted into something that resembled a shimmering Dragon with fangs that put a prehistoric tiger's to shame. She was roughly the size of an SUV and I said a quick prayer to Uncle God that the floor would hold.
It was happening so fast I wasn't quite sure it was happening at all. Instinct took over and I began to shoot magic from my fingertips that should have turned the ethereal bastards to dust, but only served to piss them off.
"Ethan," I shouted. "Behind you!"
He turned quickly and decapitated two ferocious Fairies with his bare hands. They were headed for Gemma and would have happily made my mate collateral damage along the way. His furious roar bounced off the walls of the room and captured everything I was feeling. Who did these pretty cocksuckers think they were busting in on game night and destroying my house? I was so done with people messing up my stuff. It was one thing if Sammy did it…Oh my God. My baby.
As I began to run to the nursery next door, I was trapped in a chokehold by one of the best looking dudes I'd ever seen. He had no idea what a mistake he was making. I was a mother who was going to protect her child and he was in my way. Bad fucking move—very bad.
My scream stopped time and the Fairy tried to back off, but that was so not happening. His ass was mine. "Martha and Jane, nursery," I shouted. "NOW." They were insane, but they would die for my child.
"On it," Martha grunted as she literally flew from the room with Jane in tow, kicking every Fairy in the head as they left. How in the Hell could they already fly? Honestly, I didn't care—I was overjoyed that they could fly. It would mean they could grab Sammy and get away from here if need be.
Above the frightening sounds of the battle I heard The Kev commanding a reluctant Gemma to transport to a safe house, but she was having none of it. She fought savagely right alongside her man. However, The Kev was right—she should leave until we got rid of the enemy. I needed to kill a Fairy real quick and then have a brief word with my BFF. First things first…
"You're just a woman," the Fairy snarled with disgust as long, deadly claws ejected from his fingertips. "A filthy Vampyre to boot. I eat shit like you for breakfast."
"Oh my God," I shouted to the room. "This stupid assjacket eats shit. That is soooooo gross."
Pam's cackle from across the room as she, Venus and the King destroyed Fairies almost made me smile.
"That's not what I meant," he screeched as he noticed other Fairies laughing at him.
"Well dude, you're gonna have a really hard time living that shit eating thing down—so I'm gonna help you out with that."
His anger made him sloppy, which
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