I’d even seen.
“That’s a good girl,” Nana said, patting her leg.
“Piper, this is Lana. Lana, this is my granddaughter, Piper.” Nana said properly, as if we’d just ran into each other at church. I looked up into the girl’s face, which was covered in sweat now. Lana cocked her head sideways and grinned at me
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” I replied awkwardly.
I watched her face turn red and screw up in pain. Her breath began to pick up. Despite the circumstances, Lana was completely at ease. Nana got up and pushed me to sit down in her stool.
I shook my head, horrified, “What? I can’t, Nana. I don’t know—”
Nana shushed me and handed me gloves.
“Hush now, you need to be ready. Just listen as I talk. There’s really nothing to it.”
Lana screamed, and I froze, seeing something round bulging from her lower half, which was now in my direct line of vision. I wanted to run from the room, but I was also transfixed by what was happening. I was mortified, but I could not look away. I put on my gloves hurriedly. Nana placed my hand where the baby was crowning.
“Just like baby horses, no?” Nana asked, her beautiful German accent more pronounced.
I wanted to say it was nothing like the horses I’d helped Papaw deliver. Nothing.
“Feel the pressure build with each contraction? That’s when you push through the pain.”
I didn’t want to feel, and yet I wanted nothing more in the world. I placed my hand on the stretching tissue, and watched in amazement at the life within coming forth. Lana began to scream, causing me to start shaking all over.
“It’s going to rip me in two!” she said through gritted teeth.
Judging by what I was seeing, I didn’t think she was too far off with her assessment. The tiny head progressed a little further out, then retreated.
“Doing good, Lana! Next time, I want the biggest push you can give me, okay? Come on now,” Nana coached.
She guided my hands to be ready and began whispering in my ear.
“Here it comes, Piper. Be ready now.”
Tears were filling my eyes, making me blink rapidly. Lana screamed, and bore down, straining with the labor of it. Her knuckles were chalk white from the death grip she had on the bars on either side of the bed.
“Here we go! Piper, keep his head up! He’s coming,” Nana said sweetly.
She sounded far away from me, although I felt her directly beside me. I was fully wrapped in this moment. The baby’s head was out now. I was in shock, but adrenaline was rushing through my body.
I placed my gloved hand under its head, and Nana continued to coach Lana. I tuned everything out. I couldn’t say it was an out of body experience, but I think it was close.
A minute later the baby was out, wailing and balling his fists at me. I held him, slippery with goo, not caring about anything else in the world. I felt hot tears slide down my cheeks. Daniel had not killed everything in me after all.
Nana was beaming with pride, and my heart fluttered wildly with excitement inside my chest. I could feel an overwhelming joy and peace looking in this creature’s eyes. A living, breathing thing was there, and I helped get it there. I looked, with my eyes full of tears, for Nana’s face. She was telling Lana something, and then she looked at me.
“Good girl,” she said winking, and gave me one of her angelic smiles.
I blinked the tears away and watched as Nana cut the cord. She began to tell me what to do. I placed the baby in a blanket rubbed the protective white paste off his face. I suctioned his nose and mouth—just like baby horses, I thought.
After the baby was as clean as I was going to get him, I started toward the mother, but Lana began shaking her head.
“No, he’s not mine,” she said, without an ounce of humor.
I felt my face pinch with confusion. I held the little boy in my arms and watched as Nana sewed Lana up. Nana would turn her head to the side to tell me something, explaining why this and that was
“That’s a good girl,” Nana said, patting her leg.
“Piper, this is Lana. Lana, this is my granddaughter, Piper.” Nana said properly, as if we’d just ran into each other at church. I looked up into the girl’s face, which was covered in sweat now. Lana cocked her head sideways and grinned at me
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” I replied awkwardly.
I watched her face turn red and screw up in pain. Her breath began to pick up. Despite the circumstances, Lana was completely at ease. Nana got up and pushed me to sit down in her stool.
I shook my head, horrified, “What? I can’t, Nana. I don’t know—”
Nana shushed me and handed me gloves.
“Hush now, you need to be ready. Just listen as I talk. There’s really nothing to it.”
Lana screamed, and I froze, seeing something round bulging from her lower half, which was now in my direct line of vision. I wanted to run from the room, but I was also transfixed by what was happening. I was mortified, but I could not look away. I put on my gloves hurriedly. Nana placed my hand where the baby was crowning.
“Just like baby horses, no?” Nana asked, her beautiful German accent more pronounced.
I wanted to say it was nothing like the horses I’d helped Papaw deliver. Nothing.
“Feel the pressure build with each contraction? That’s when you push through the pain.”
I didn’t want to feel, and yet I wanted nothing more in the world. I placed my hand on the stretching tissue, and watched in amazement at the life within coming forth. Lana began to scream, causing me to start shaking all over.
“It’s going to rip me in two!” she said through gritted teeth.
Judging by what I was seeing, I didn’t think she was too far off with her assessment. The tiny head progressed a little further out, then retreated.
“Doing good, Lana! Next time, I want the biggest push you can give me, okay? Come on now,” Nana coached.
She guided my hands to be ready and began whispering in my ear.
“Here it comes, Piper. Be ready now.”
Tears were filling my eyes, making me blink rapidly. Lana screamed, and bore down, straining with the labor of it. Her knuckles were chalk white from the death grip she had on the bars on either side of the bed.
“Here we go! Piper, keep his head up! He’s coming,” Nana said sweetly.
She sounded far away from me, although I felt her directly beside me. I was fully wrapped in this moment. The baby’s head was out now. I was in shock, but adrenaline was rushing through my body.
I placed my gloved hand under its head, and Nana continued to coach Lana. I tuned everything out. I couldn’t say it was an out of body experience, but I think it was close.
A minute later the baby was out, wailing and balling his fists at me. I held him, slippery with goo, not caring about anything else in the world. I felt hot tears slide down my cheeks. Daniel had not killed everything in me after all.
Nana was beaming with pride, and my heart fluttered wildly with excitement inside my chest. I could feel an overwhelming joy and peace looking in this creature’s eyes. A living, breathing thing was there, and I helped get it there. I looked, with my eyes full of tears, for Nana’s face. She was telling Lana something, and then she looked at me.
“Good girl,” she said winking, and gave me one of her angelic smiles.
I blinked the tears away and watched as Nana cut the cord. She began to tell me what to do. I placed the baby in a blanket rubbed the protective white paste off his face. I suctioned his nose and mouth—just like baby horses, I thought.
After the baby was as clean as I was going to get him, I started toward the mother, but Lana began shaking her head.
“No, he’s not mine,” she said, without an ounce of humor.
I felt my face pinch with confusion. I held the little boy in my arms and watched as Nana sewed Lana up. Nana would turn her head to the side to tell me something, explaining why this and that was
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