Read Online Eyeheart Everything by Kevin Sampsell, Mykle Hansen, Ed Stastny, Kevin Kirkbride - Free Book Online Page B

office again. So I go back to my desk, and ... no, I don’t remember where she went. She stayed in the elevator. I went back to my desk, but when I got there there was this note on my chair that said CHARLIE! CHECK YOUR VOICE MAIL! but I didn’t have a phone in my cube, and there wasn’t one on the whole floor, and then I remembered, there’s a pay phone in the stairwell. So I stuck my head out into the self-cleaning stairwell one more time, just opened the door and looked out there, and what I saw was the stairs had retracted back to about six inches, and for several floors above and below there were these guys in jogging suits with enormous shoes who were standing on the remaining edge of stairway, backs to the wall, shuffling slowly sideways either up or down the staircase, and I watched as two of them approached each other going opposite ways, and they did this sort of acrobatic maneuver where one of them would spin around on one inside toe so that suddenly he was face to face and sort of ... sort of embracing the other one, and then he’d flip over again, spinning on his other toe, so that he was against the wall and that way the two of them would have passed each other. And they all seemed to be pretty good at this, and without getting huffy with each other either, and I could tell that the stairs were almost retracted and still slowly retracting, but down the stairs to my right only about ten feet away was this pay telephone. So I figured, well, I have to check my voice mail, it’s only ten feet, it’ll be a quick call, the ledge is retracting pretty slowly ... yeah, well, it’s a dream. Don’t you do dumb things in your dreams? I’m always having ... I’m always about to have unprotected intercourse with total strangers in my dreams, that’s pretty dumb. With ... lots of people. Why? People I don’t know sometimes. Well yeah of course it’s all harmless, it’s a dream, so like quit interRUPting me oKAY? I’m so sure. Anyway: I slide down this ledge with my back to the wall, and it’s slow going but I reach the phone, and I get change out of my pocket and put it in the phone but then I realize I don’t know what the voice mail number is. So then, that was when, specifically, I called ... you! First I called 411, got your number from the operator from US West ... sure I have it memorized, but in the dream I didn’t, but I wrote it down on the cover of the phone book, 553-0861. And then ... what do you mean what happened, bitch? Well, did you answer the frickin’ phone last night or what? Did you? No you did NOT! So it just rang and rang, and I redialed ‘cause I thought maybe I dialed it wrong but it just rang some more, and I felt the ledge going out from under my heels so I was just standing on my toes, and hanging onto the phone book that’s like hanging from that little length of cable. Like I knew I had to get off the ledge but I didn’t want to let go of the phone, right? And then I slipped, and I hung there by the telephone handset and the phone book ... and then the alarm went off. Well, not exactly scary ... most of my dreams are like that. I didn’t wake up in a sweat or anything. Why, what are your dreams like?

Welcome to Springfield, Mass -
Home of Absorbine Jr.!

    So this is where Absorbine Jr. lives, along with old Mister Absorbine Sr. in their massive research chalet in downtown Springfield, Mass.
    “We like it fine,” said the limber-jointed patriarch as he showed me past the long cases that hold his antique bottle collection. “We could live anywhere in town, of course, but here we’re closer to the heart of things. My son says he has to be near the lab at all times, in the event of a sudden brainstorm, you know. Come, we’ll see if he’s there.”
    Soon enough we came to a wide atrium, thick with the activities of two dozen sprightly septuagenarian lab assistants and well-furnished with racks and benches of glass pipettes, flasks, inhalators, and other chemist’s