Read Online Eyeheart Everything by Kevin Sampsell, Mykle Hansen, Ed Stastny, Kevin Kirkbride - Free Book Online

know, it was fun. I figured, what if I can call up Nancy in her dreams from my dreams. I bet it would have worked! How? I don’t know how, I don’t even know how my cell phone works. It uses waves. Anyway you can do anything in dreams, that’s the whole point. I read that somewhere. Anyway I didn’t mean to disturb you or interrupt anything. Why, what were you doing when the phone rang? Why not? Just curious, geez. I’ll tell you what I ... yeah, I was um ... in this office, in a really tall building downtown, only it had only stairs, no elevator or escalator, and I worked on the 37th floor, I remember that, it was a temp job that the agency placed me with and I had to get there at exactly midnight and start working, but everybody else was there too, I remember it was very important stuff they did in the legal profession and they all worked 24 hours a day. I made copies. I had to use this photocopier that was on the 34th floor, three floors down from where my cube was, so I had to keep going out into this big stairwell where the stairs didn’t have any railings, and I’d look down this mile-deep stairwell at all the people going up and down, and there’d be big groups of people very precariously trying to squeeze past other big groups of people traveling in the other direction, not passing single-file which would have been the safest way, but instead shoving straight through each other, and I remember watching someone fall from a ledge above me, and the first time I came back from using the copier ... the copier itself had this computer in it, and these big seizing arms, and the copier would work okay if it was left unplugged, but if someone plugged it in it would wake up and get evil. The seizing arms jumped out and yanked my copy jobs away from me and threw the papers into this metal box in its side than sprung open, kind of an iron-lidded incinerator-style box, the copier was also apparently part of the central heating system of this huge building, and I remember it was part of some futuristic head-management environmental control system that was a big cost-saving feature of this brand-new futuristic office building. When the copier finished my copy job (fifteen copies stapled and collated) they came out on this other extendo-robotic arm with a weird cat-litter scoop attachment on the end, I mean, yeah, I mean it had dried bits of cat litter on it and it smelled like serious cat butt, and there were my copies in this little dirty scoop. So I’m all, okay, I grab the copies but the other extendo-robotic arm, the one with the grasping pincer on the end, it has a longer reach and it’s sort of hovering above the cat-litter scoop, grasping pincer wide open, and it looks like it wants to grab me and copy me. So I say to this copier, Where’s My Originals, and the copier laughs — it’s got this little blue screen way on the other end of the room with a little graphical user interface on it, and little individual windows pop up, and each one just says HA! in big type, and they pop up one at a time, HA! HA! HA! HA!, and the extendo-robotic arms jiggle with laughter, super creepy. But while it’s laughing I grab the copies out of its scoop and run out the door, and then I’m back on the staircase only I notice that very very slowly, the staircase, the one with no railing, has been retracting into the walls, so that where it was like three people wide before, winding around this incredibly long 100-story shaft, now it’s like one and seven-eighths people wide, and I head on upwards, and as I do I pass people heading downwards, and they all want me to pass them on the right, which is the outside, you know, the edge of the stairs is there and there’s occasionally people in suits — everybody wears either suits with leather shoes or like jogging outfits with huge Nikes, Nikes the size of ski boots, and these Nikes are like specially designed for traction and agility when climbing treacherous staircases, and the