Read Online End Game by Tabatha Wenzel - Free Book Online

one. You are smart and
now you are pretty. I don’t mean that you weren’t pretty before,
but it’s just with the extra weight you had I knew for sure I was
the pretty one. Now, I am nothing compared to you. I hate that I
feel that way. I hate that every time I see you wear one of my
outfits I wish for you to put 10 lbs. back on. I hate myself
Hannah. You have not had the easiest life and I am jealous of you.
What does that say about me? I have a mom who loves me and tells me
how wonderful I am, and I have a dad who is active in my life. Why
am I like this? I should be happy that you are bettering yourself,
and I am happy the jealousy is only like a little bit compared to
how proud and happy I am for you. God, you have to hate me right
now.”
    Sitting here looking at Rayanne is the first
time I truly realized that everyone is fucked up and dealing with
issues. Her being jealous doesn’t make me mad. It actually makes me
see her as human and not perfect, but I can’t believe she is
actually jealous of me!
    “Rayanne, I don’t hate you. The truth is I
have spent most of my life envying you and being jealous of you. It
actually makes me feel pretty good that I look good enough for you
to be jealous of me,” I said laughing at her.
    Rayanne stands up and I can tell by her face
that she doesn’t like my answer.
    “This isn’t funny Hannah. I love you like a
sister, and I shouldn’t be jealous of you. I didn’t tell you about
Collin because I knew you would want to meet him. I didn’t want you
to meet him, because I was scared after he met you he would want
you more than me.”
    I am trying so hard not to smile at Rayanne.
I know that she is serious about all this, but boy does knowing
this make me feel good.
    “Rayanne, you need to stop. You are human and
jealousy is a natural thing. I know that you wouldn’t really want
anything bad to happen to me. My losing weight has been an
adjustment for both you and me. When I look in the mirror I still
see someone who is wearing a size twenty. When you look at me now,
you see me as competition? I never was that before. I was just
Hannah. I don’t know why, but knowing that you are jealous of me is
like the weirdest, best compliment I have ever gotten. All I have
ever wanted was to be you. I have always wanted to have your
confidence and free spirit and joy. It always seems like it comes
so easy for you.”
    For the first time, I understood all the
things I envied about Rayanne, maybe haven’t come as easy as I
always thought.
    “I cant believe that you are taking this so
easily Hannah. If I was in your shoes, I would bitch slap you,” She
said laughing.
    In that moment, hearing her laugh, I knew we
would be okay. Maybe not today, or even in a year, but we would
always be there for each other. I knew we would be better than
ever, because we would finally be honest to each other.
     
    “Don’t think for one second that I didn’t
think about slapping you silly girl. I was pissed as fuck when
Collin told me how you had described me, or how much he knew about
me, and I knew nothing. I thought that you were ashamed of me.”
    “No, Hannah, never ashamed. I was ashamed of
myself for feeling this way about you.”
    “One thing you need to know is, even if
Collin fell in love with me at first sight, I would never even look
at him. I would never do that to you.”
    Rayanne grabbed me, hugged me, and started
crying against my cheek.
    “I do know that Hannah. I am sorry that I
even thought it. I guess, maybe I have as much to figure out as you
do.”
    “Well, from what my therapist says, I already
know what is wrong with me. She told me I suffer from low-self
esteem and low self-worth. I laughed in her face and told her I
already knew that part. She says just being away from my mother
will make all the difference in the world. You know what, I think
she may actually be right. I already feel different. Not as fearful
I guess.” I looked at her and rolled my eyes.
    Rayanne