Read Online Elrod McBugle on the Loose by Jeff Strand - Free Book Online

just couldn't handle having anyone else read it ever again.
    I mean it, it was really lousy. I don't know where Mr. Torrance came up with the idea that he could write anything resembling a real poem. I don't know how I managed to convince myself that it was a good poem, if only for a very short time. Mere words can't express just how bad this poem was, unless I put them in all caps, like this:
    It was a REALLY BAD poem!
    But we wrote it, and I thanked Mr. Torrance, and I decided that the next day I was going to give it to Julie and let her know how I felt, if I still felt that way the next day.
    When I woke up the next day, I wasn't sure if I still had a crush on her. I ate some cereal and thought about it. Okay, yeah, I still had a crush on her. I'd give her the poem.
    But I wasn't going to put my name on it. I wasn't that stupid. I'd slip the poem (which I'd typed on my computer so she couldn't recognize the handwriting) into her locker and see how she reacted before I revealed my identity. And nobody else was going to know about it, not even Scoopy.
    I was very calm, cool, and collected. As I walked past Julie's locker on my way to study hall, I quickly slipped the poem through the slot at the top. I didn't think she'd dust for fingerprints or anything, so I was safe. I went to study hall, thought about her instead of doing my homework, went to home economics, thought about her instead of paying attention in class, went to English, got in trouble because I was thinking about her instead of paying attention in class, and so on.
    Then came lunch.
    I sat with Scoopy in our usual spot. We were eating cafeteria food again, which was a color I didn't recognize. Julie was seated in her usual spot, with her usual friends, acting unusual. She had a goofy grin on her face, and her eyes were lit up with what can only be called one hundred percent pure love.
    She was holding the poem in her hand.
    She looked at me and smiled.
    I smiled back.
    "Why are you smiling like that?" asked Scoopy, nervously. "Did you put something in my food? What did you put in my food? I'd better not get sick."
    "Your food is fine," I said. "I'm just smiling because I'm a happy person."
    "Oh. Why are you happy?"
    "No reason."
    "Is it because Andy is standing right behind you, and you're in the mood to get beat up?"
    I turned around. Andy stood there, holding his tray of food. "You guys are done with that table, right?"
    "No."
    "Let me say this again. You guys are done with that table, right?"
    "Why don't you just shut up?" said my true love. "You know he can beat you up with one hand tied behind his back."
    Yeah, sure, if my other hand held a baseball bat. With spikes on it.
    "You know, I've had enough of this," said Andy, glaring at her. "You don't think I can beat up this little twerp? Fine!" Andy pointed at me. "Today right after school. Hanley Park. You and me. Be there. Got it?"
    "Hanley Park? Where's that?"
    "You know...it's that park about five blocks from here."
    "I've never been there," I told him.
    "Yeah you have. Everyone's been to Hanley Park."
    A few other kids who'd been listening muttered that they'd never heard of Hanley Park, either.
    "Do you mean Ketchum Park?" asked Scoopy.
    "No, I don't mean Ketchum Park, stupid. I mean Hanley Park. How can you not know where it is? It's right there! It's this big ol' park!"
    "Sorry, I've never heard of it," I said.
    Andy sighed with frustration. "Okay, you go out the main entrance and cross Gates street. Then you walk up Gates street toward the church---"
    "Which church?"
    "You know, the church!"
    "There are two churches on Gates street."
    "The big church! The one right there!"
    "Why don't you draw a map?" Scoopy suggested.
    "Okay, fine, give me some