Read Online Elrod McBugle on the Loose by Jeff Strand - Free Book Online Page A

paper."
    "I don't have any paper," I said.
    "Me either," said Scoopy.
    The other kids listening checked around, but none of them had any paper, either.
    "How can you not have paper?" asked Andy. "We're in school! Everyone's supposed to have paper in school!"
    Scoopy handed Andy a napkin. "Here, write on this."
    "Do you have a pencil?"
    "No."
    "If someone doesn't give me a pencil, I'm gonna beat up everyone here!" Andy threatened.
    "Is a pen okay?" asked Julie.
    "Yes, a pen is fine! Give me the stupid pen!"
    "It's not a stupid pen. My grandma bought it for me for my birthday."
    "Just give it to me."
    Julie tossed Andy the pen. He sat down next to me and began to scribble directions on the napkin. When he was done, he shoved it at me. "Here."
    I looked it over. "I can't read your handwriting. What's this word?"
    "Shut up! I don't care how you find it, but if you're not at Hanley Park after school today, I'm gonna hunt you down and make you wish you'd never been born!"
    At this moment I finally got it through my head that I was going to have to fight Andy today. I was going to be beaten senseless! And it was all because of Julie! Whoever thought love would be so complicated?
    "We don't have to fight," I said. "I'll just say right here, in front of all these witnesses, that you won. You're the champion. I admit it."
    "No way. I'm tired of you saying you can beat me up."
    "I never said it!"
    "I'm tired of Julie saying you can beat me up."
    "And he can!" said Julie.
    "We'll find out then, won't we?" asked Andy, as he stormed off. I stared at the napkin death sentence and my stomach did a few Olympic-quality flip-flops.
    "You don't think he's going to beat me up too, just because I'm your friend, do you?" asked Scoopy.
    "Maybe."
    "Aw, man ."
    Okay, so I was in serious trouble. I wondered if Julie would still like me after she discovered that I couldn't squish Andy after all.
    She turned to one of her friends and whispered something. I'm sure I wasn't supposed to hear it.
    "Andy is so cute. And he wrote me the most adorable love poem you can imagine. Oh, I just can't wait to watch him beat up Elrod!"

Chapter Nine Quiz
    1. Wouldn't it be nice if this quiz only had one question?

Tenth Chapter! Collector's Item
    I WAS NOT A happy camper. I was like a camper whose tent had blown away in a thunderstorm and was being chased up a tree by a starving grizzly bear with really bad breath.
    So, Julie didn't have a crush on me after all. I was going to get beat up just so she could watch Andy's muscles ripple. And with word spreading fast, half of the school was probably going to be there to watch. This was completely unfair!
    And I had to show up for the fight. If I didn't, I'd only be delaying things. Might as well get the pain out of the way so I could go on with my life...if I still had one after the fight.
    I wondered if I could hide a chainsaw behind my back.
    There had to be a way out of this. Andy talked big, but he really wasn't the type to go around beating people up for no reason. If he was, I'd have been his victim a long time ago. So I merely needed to convince him that we didn't need to fight.
    How hard could that be?
     "Hey, Andy, let's forget the fight, okay?"
    "Sure thing, buddy. No problem. Wanna get some Doritos after school?"
    "Sounds like fun. Let's go."     Somehow I didn't think that was going to work.
    Maybe if I begged Julie to take back what she said, she could convince Andy not to obliterate me. Maybe if I told her that I was the one who wrote the poem, she'd try to keep me alive.
    No, no, that wouldn't work. She'd be so disappointed that it hadn't been from Andy that she'd want him to beat me up even